Why isn’t anyone talking about how awful the MAFS men were?

MAFS contestant Olivia Frazer has emerged from the series afraid to leave the house, while poor behaviour by some of the men has gone almost unnoticed.

OPINION

It’s fair to say that this season of Married At First Sight will be remembered as the Olivia Frazer season.

After all, she was the contestant who spawned a thousand headlines for sharing around a nude photo of fellow contestant Domenica Calarco without her permission.

However, while Olivia is now bearing the brunt of online trolls and the nation’s hatred, I also think it’s worth remembering how poorly some of the men behaved this season – and how easily they were forgiven for it.

Sure, they copped a few mean tweets, but then everyone moved on. None of them has been forced to turn off their Instagram comments or have said they can no longer go grocery shopping. Honestly, it’s just served as a firm reminder that we readily accept poor behaviour from men, I suppose because we expect it.

Olivia Frazer is the MAFS villain of 2022.

I think it’s important to highlight that Olivia wasn’t the only person who behaved poorly this season; she’s just the only one who didn’t get away with it.

So, let’s recap, shall we?

There was the moment when Jack Millar shamed his bride Domenica for wanting period sex and then had a men’s meeting about it, which was cringe at best and also seemed like a breach of privacy. Plus seriously, can we just cancel the idea that periods are gross?

Jack was grossed out by Domenica wanting sex while she had her period. Picture: Nine

Then there was the moment where Selina Chhaur asked her ‘husband’ Cody Bromley if his lack of affection was because of her ethnicity.

He replied with: “I think it did honestly have something to play on it initially.”

Then he followed that up with: “I’m not racist.”

But not being attracted to someone because of their race is actually pretty racist.

Cody said he wasn’t attracted to Selina because of her ethnicity. Picture: Nine

Selina was understandably left upset. Picture: Nine

And who could forget when Andrew Davis implied to his ‘wife’ Holly Greenstein that she was “bad at sex” – then declared he’d had over 300 sexual partners, as if that is an example of his sexual prowess.

May I humbly suggest that if women aren’t returning for more sex, that might indicate something?

Then Andrew proceeded to attend a dinner party after they broke up where he played the victim, actively working to turn other contestants against Holly and make her seem crazy. At the very least, he is guilty of gaslighting – no minor offence, in my book.

Andrew told Holly she was ‘bad at sex’ on national TV. Picture: Nine

This brings me to the nude photo scandal. Has everyone just forgotten that Cody brought it up at the dinner party, in arguably the most insensitive way possible? He managed to throw petrol on a situation already on fire, saying: “We’ve all seen a picture of you pretty much naked on the couch. It is an OnlyFans thing that got spread out. Does Jack know that you had an OnlyFans account?”

Cody dropping the OnlyFans bomb and stepping back to watch it explode. Picture: Nine

Forget his callous delivery; in my opinion his biggest crime was caring more about how Domenica’s ‘husband’ felt about her nude photo being shared around than how she felt. You know – the person who was actually being violated in this instance. Why would he assume that Domenica’s ‘husband’ would care? Likely because he thinks a women’s modesty is linked to her worth. Just plain old-fashioned misogyny at play.

While his ‘wife’ Selina called out his actions and said, “He took it upon himself to bring it up in the worst way possible,” it still wasn’t a deal-breaker, and I would argue that this says nothing about Selina’s character and much more about the expectations of behaviour we have from men.

Truthfully, it’s hard to measure poor behaviour against poor behaviour, and honestly, no one behaved very well this season. And I’m not erasing the fact that Olivia’s behaviour was awful. But I think it’s worth acknowledging that we are much quicker to forgive men for their actions and much more obsessed with shaming and villainising women. Why is it that Olivia is the only one who can’t leave her house?

Mary Madigan is a freelance writer

Originally published as Why isn’t anyone talking about how awful the MAFS men were?