What it’s like to stay overnight at the I’m a Celebrity ... Get Me out Of Here! camp — bugs and all

THERE are no sneaky Snickers bars or comforts for stars in this year’s I’m A Celebrity series. We stayed the night and found out how harsh it really is.

CAMPING can’t be that hard, can it?

I’m definitely no expert but I’ve been camping a few times and given the chance to spend the night in the South African jungle ahead of the next season of I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here! I jumped at the chance.

Its incredible how quickly you lose sense of time and the fact cameras are trailing your every move.

A lot of people back home genuinely still believe celebrities really aren’t living in the camp, that they just go in to film and take comfort in luxury air conditioned lodges at night.

I can tell you that’s definitely not the truth and there are very few comforts in the camp.

There’s no one handing over a Snickers bar when you need a sweet treat. Staff are occasionally seen through the shrubbery and fences around the camp but they can’t speak to you, even if you try to get a response out of them.

Walking in to the camp, it’s overwhelming how remote and foreign it feels. It’s not as quiet as you’d expect. There’s no dull hum of city life but insects of different shapes and sizes buzz around making all sorts of strange sounds. Then there’s the Bush Babies (something like a possum) that look super cute but screech horrendously. And the baboons or ‘bamboons’ as last year’s contestant Maureen McCormick named them. These aren’t normal monkeys. They’re scary and we’re told not to show our teeth or look them in the eye if we come face to face as they’d see that as a threat. Eek.

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There are no major changes to the camp set up this year. The wooden bridge remains. So too the Tok Tokkie, the outdoor shower and the camp itself with stretcher like beds.

The only real change to the camp is the addition of a second toilet for hygiene purposes. Instead of having one long drop, they’ve added a short drop for number ones.

Walking in, you quickly lose awareness of the numerous cameras hidden in the bushes as you genuinely focus on what is in front you. And I think to myself, surely no one would be interested in what I’m talking about although later I’m told video of me waking up is “quite funny”.

Within a few minutes of arriving in camp, a couple of the ‘stand in’ celebrities (locals trying out the camp) find ticks on their legs. I’m warned to “check my wet bits” — under my arms, behind my knees, between my toes and my groin.

I find a half spider/half scorpion scuttling under my bed and when I go to squash it, a brave stand in steps in, picks it up and drops it in a nearby bush that is too close for my liking.

It is apparently the worst drought in four years in this area of South Africa. But ironically a mammoth storm hits camp within an hour of my entering.

The overhead canopy protection is slightly larger this year, the aim being to reduce the amount of water that hits the camp beds. But with so much rain (36mm I’m told) our beds are soaked as we huddle around the fire trying to stay dry.

The wet weather brought out even more bugs than usual. What felt like thousands, more likely hundreds, of flying ants swarmed the camp. They were harmless but not ideal.

The rain remains steady pretty much all night.

It felt like several hours of darkness when a bag made of Springbok fur is drawn into camp on a pulley overhead. I’d successfully completed the tucker trial earlier in the day, meaning we had a full count of 12 meals for all.

The haul of food seemed pretty small though. Inside the bag are a few veggies — plantain, ochre, some sort of radish and a kind of spinach, along with a piece of meat. Two of the stand in campmates are assigned cooking duties but we all chip in with ideas of how to prepare the meal.

Of course there’s no staple extras like salt and pepper so we need to be creative.

Cooking facilities are basic. A fire with a basic fry pan, wooden spoon, and kettle.

Unfortunately we broke the wooden spoon before dinner so had to make do with a small spoon.

We settle on dicing the meat for a stew, lightly frying to brown it and then throw all the veggies and meat in a big pot they call a “potjie” to cook up a stew. We cook the rice in the metal kettle.

After dinner we sit around and wonder what time it is. I say 8.30pm, the others guess 10 or 11pm.

And with the rain continuing we prepare for bed.

I dried my bed as best I could before getting into my sleeping bag. Campmates are given two backpacks that include a couple of changes of uniform, basic toiletries that don’t have any branding on them, a sleeping bag, an inner liner for the sleeping bag and a thin brown pillow.

I usually go to the toilet a few times a night but only go once here, stumbling through bleary eyed at what I guessed to be about three or four am. It’s only a few metres walk (probably 20 metres) but you have to brave bugs galore and it’s kind of scary going by yourself. You also have to check your shoes for bugs, scorpions and the like.

The night is long. The lights remain on for what feels like much of the night and they’re bright. I wake regularly to freaky noises. Baboons go off in the morning — apparently they’re mating. Waking up proper, I guess it’s around 5.30am and lie in my bed waiting for others to stir. Slowly the camp comes alive. Someone gets up and starts the fire and boils the pot for our breakfast oats.

These celebrities are in for one hell of a ride. I was lucky, escorted out of the camp after my 14 or so hours and very happily taken back to my nearby lodge for a shower and hot breakfast.

There will be no such relief for the celebrities vying for the title of king or queen of the jungle that would see them in the camp for around six weeks.

· * The journalist is in South Africa as a guest of Channel Ten covering I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here!