Risk rocks, say the new breed of anti-helicopter parents

TODDLERS teetering on cliff faces and pre-teens pinned on mountains. This is what happens when parents go to extreme measures.

TODDLERS teetering on cliff faces and pre-teens pinned on a mountain in a snowstorm: they’re the antithesis of ‘cotton wool kids’.

And the only time you might associate the words ‘helicopter’ and ‘parent’ with the adults in this scenario is if they’re jumping out of one, or it’s being called in to save them.

Welcome to the world of extreme parenting, where risk rocks and doing something dangerous isn’t grounds for being grounded — because the parents are leading the way.

It’s a world which left journalist PJ Madam rueing her fear of heights, but also wishing she’d had a childhood like it, as she joined two sets of extreme parents and their offspring in an interview for Sunday Night.

The story is sure to raise the hackles and fears of any helicopter parent, but the families featured can’t understand what the fuss is about.

In answer to the critics — and there are plenty of them — American mountaineer and father of three Patrick Sweeney takes a swipe of his own.

“Things have just gotten to the point where I call them bulldozer parents, parents are trying to pave the smoothest path possible for their kids, they are trying to make everything perfect,” Sweeney says.

“And that’s not reality, that’s not life.”

Sweeney, his wife Christen and three children — Shannon, 12, PJ, 10, and Declan, 7, live in Chamonix, France.

Madam follows them as they climb Mont Blanc, and are forced back in view of the summit by a howling snowstorm. The footage as the children are swept downhill is heart-stopping.

Back in Australia, Blue Mountains couple James and Mia Castrission are teaching their three-year-old son Jack abseiling and canyoning, and firmly believe he will be better prepared to tackle life’s hurdles because of it.

These are the anti-helicopter parents.

They believe exposing their children to risks and danger helps set them up for a more resilient and courageous approach to life, so they know the way forward when it comes to the hardships of life.

“Their whole premise is life is not easy, there are setbacks, and they truly believe if they expose their children to things that are difficult early then they are able to overcome those problems in a real life setting,” says Madam.

Leap of faith: Three-year-old Jack Castrission canyoning with his dad. Picture: Channel 7

Sunday Night viewers had a mixed reaction to the Sweeney and Castrission families.

James Castrission did a live Q&A on Facebook after the show and invited social media users to weigh in.

Some were supportive: “Whilst I think Mont blanc is extreme, the underlying message of allowing children to make their own decision as to how high they climb, how far they jump and how risky their play style is, is a true reflection of great parenting... way too much bubble wrapping for those under 25!” wrote Leonie Gabriel.

Other’s weren’t keen on his parenting methods.

“I think the little boys tears said it all.... I hope the boy doesn’t get post traumatic stress from it as he was really really scared, and if he does that parent just messed his kids head up for a very long time,” wrote Karen Vickery.

Gary Taylor said: “There is a big jump from wrapping your kids in cotton wool to having them abseil down a cliff when they are 3 years old. Srely common sense tells you they can experience some activities without risking their lives.”

If the approach taken by the Sweeneys and Castrissions sounds a whole lot like how kids used to grow up, you’re probably right.

“When I told my parents about this story they said ‘oh, why is this new?’, Madam laughs.

“It’s because what they are doing may be a little more extreme to our eyes.

“Our version of falling out of a tree and grazing our knee is their version of climbing Mont Blanc being hit by a bit of snow, and having to call it a day.”

While the parents see their choices as nothing special, they have many critics.

“A lot of people will be outraged by the story, but why — because someone has done something a bit dangerous?” Madam says.

“I’m jealous I didn’t have that childhood. I’m jealous that I’m now scared of heights and I’m sick in the bath tub — I get motion sickness. I won’t jump out of a plane.”

Madam didn’t detect fear in the time she spent with the families.

“I’m jealous of their childhood”: PJ Madam at the foot of Mont Blanc. Picture: Channel 7

“The children who climbed Mont Blanc — the most rattled they have been was when the snow fell on them — but they were not injured. They have had as many, if not more injuries, playing school sport,” she says.

“Every time we were with these kids they were having a ball. Probably more damaging is reading stuff about their parents online than the actual exposure to the risks and dangers.”

Extreme parents are aware of their critics, and point to studies which have in recent years revealed that the more exposure to nature children have and doing things which enable them to burn off energy, the more calm they are, especially when they are battling these disorders to silence them.

“They believe helicopter parents do kids a disservice and the more excuses made for children early in their lives, the less they are able to fend for themselves,” Madam says.

She says she was impressed with the safety precautions displayed as each family headed into their extreme activity.

“There were no cuts and bruises to them,” she says.

“To me, yes, because I’m, totally uncoordinated.

“At one point on the way to the base of Mont Blanc the kids were holding my hand.”

Originally published as Risk rocks, say the new breed of anti-helicopter parents