Aussie I’m A Celeb is tame compared to overseas versions

WHILE our celebs are enjoying crochet and campfire singalongs, stars in this version of the show are offering up X-rated entertainment.

THE 12 (somewhat) famous faces enlisted for this season of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here have already found various ways to while away their hours in TV purgatory.

Lisa Curry crochets. Jay Laga’aia strums his ukulele. Tziporah Malkah attempts to enlist Steve Price for some sort of alt-right camp uprising.

Riveting stuff, but it’s hard not to feel a little bit jealous when you learn what viewers of the German iteration of the show are treated to.

The German Ich Bin Ein Star — Holt Mich Hier Raus! airs in January each year, and we can confirm there ain’t a crochet needle in sight.

We have no idea who these people are — but then, we could say the same about the Aussie version.

Instead, ample screen time is spent lingering on the ample bosom of the various German B-listers as they clean up in the outdoor jungle shower.

It’s all a far cry from the Aussie I’m A Celeb shower, which in the past has shown us more of Merv Hughes than we ever needed to see and this year has seen camera-shy comedian Nazeem Hussain wrestling with a ‘shower smock’ he’d packed to preserve his modesty.

In Ich Bin Ein Star — Holt Mich Hier Raus!, nobody seems to wear much clothing at all: très European.

So it’s basically softcore porn. Picture: Supplied

‘Ich Bin Ein Star — Holt Mich Hier Raus’ must be German for ‘gratuitous shower scene’ Picture: Supplied

The German I’m A Celebrity camera operators have a tendency to linger. Picture: Supplied

It’s basically the natural heir to our own Big Brother Uncut, that early noughties program in which Gretel Killeen lustily narrated what amounted to an hour-long hidden cam peep show.

Black bars not model’s own. Picture: Supplied

And funnily enough, all this German nude celebrity action happens not in the wilds of Africa but right here in Australia — in a national park on the NSW / Queensland border, to be exact.

Contestants in the UK version of the show — pictured above — also decamp to the Northern New South Wales ‘jungle’. Picture: Splash News

Consider this a peek at how Celeb viewers overseas live it up. Feel free to refer back to this article the next time Lisa Curry pulls out her crochet on Aussie I’m A Celeb.

Still, at least we’ve got Kris Smith ...

Dannii’s babydaddy is bringing some heat to the jungle.

Originally published as Aussie I’m A Celeb is tame compared to overseas versions