Home and Away actor Jessica Redmayne opens up on mum’s dementia battle
Home and Away actor Jessica Redmayne’s mum does not know who she is, nor could she remember what television was to “relish in and appreciate” her beloved daughter’s success.
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Home and Away actor Jessica Redmayne’s mum does not know who she is, nor could she remember what television was to “relish in and appreciate” her beloved daughter’s success.
Monday is the first day of Dementia Action Week, which the 31-year-old is fronting to raise awareness about the “invisible” disease which caused her mum “to disintegrate”.
“Dad said to me, everyone has their s--t, and this is ours,” Redmayne told The Daily Telegraph.
“It changed my perspective on the world.”
Tina Redmayne, 70, was diagnosed with early onset dementia in 2014, but was showing signs of memory loss from her mid-fifties.
“I describe dementia to people as: It’s like a toddler going through milestones, but going through them backwards,” Redmayne said.
“You hit a milestone, like mum starting to forget how to get dressed, and you’d help her do that and plateau for a bit, and then you’d hit another one.”
Redmayne was in her early twenties when these milestones began.
From her mother leaving a cup of tea in the microwave, to buying the wrong thing at the shops, to being unable to use a knife and fork, to needing more full time care than her dad could provide.
“I think he needed to hear it from an outside source to eventually put her into care because he couldn’t let the love of his life go,” she said.
“To know that they’re going to inevitably forget who you are, and have no concept of me being her daughter is incredibly challenging,” she said.
Of the 400,000 Australians living with dementia, one in 13 have younger onset dementia which can start as early as someone’s thirties.
“She got to a point where she still knew my name, but she didn’t realise I was her child. It kind of helped being an actor I must admit, because I got to still engage with her. She thought I was her best friend, because she went to a place in her mind where she was in her teens or early twenties, where she couldn’t grasp that she had kids.”
Redmayne said her mum was her number one supporter, “the life of a party”, and always playing guitar. “
Music is the last part of the brain to go,” she said, “so (she) didn’t know my name, but could sing a Carole King song.”
“When she was in that in-between of knowing what was happening to her, that was the hardest part,” Redmayne continued. “It was almost overnight that she went from knowing she was unwell and that her brain was disobeying her and the next day, a light had switched off. “That was kind of comforting for us, because she was happier.”
Dementia Australia has named Redmayne an ambassador this year, and it’s her hope that sharing her story and learnings will help other families.
Younger onset dementia is often hereditary, but: “I don’t like to live my life by that because there’s no point,” Redmayne said.
If this article raises any queries or concerns, contact the National Dementia hotline: 1800 100 500.
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