Hayley feels judged and David wants his truth — we wrap up the MAFS action
Hayley is complaining about being judged, and what is with Stacey’s age? Our MAFS experts JMo and Benge texted during the show tonight. READ THEIR TEXT EXCHANGES HERE
Confidential
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To counter the usual Married At First Sight recaps, Confidential’s JMo and Benge share their private text exchange as they watched tonight’s commitment ceremony.
JMo: We are on – show time! Physical connection – tick, that kills me every time
Benge: So cringe
J: They need more of a recap – what happened with Dave and Hayley? I must have been on the toilet for that bit. Bring on the commitment ceremony. Hayley – stage five clinger!
B: These bogans need subtitles
J: I like how they lie around their fake apartments as if they’re candid when it’s clear they’ve spent three hours in hair and makeup
B: Right? (smiley face)
J: Ivan cannot be for real? They say Stacey is 25 – she has to be over 40?
B: At the very least
J: I can’t handle the fact Jonethen spells his name like that? People think I’m weird with an on as in Jonathon
B: Ivan’s cray cray - Insta followers come at meee!! – Tash
J: Could there be any less chemistry between Amanda and Tash? This is all so set up – it’s like Unreal the TV show. You can feel the producers in the background coaching these peeps. Amanda saying, “I knew that Tash was going to come in, have a few drinks and be flirty. I wouldn’t date someone that was sucking down wines, sitting on every Tom Dick and Harry, it’s just not the sort of woman I would date. I’m annoyed because I don’t feel like we are in a relationship at the moment.” News flash Amanda! This isn’t real. I’d like to see more of Mikey with his shirt off FYI. These experts are kidding themselves – I like how they’re called experts now rather than proper titles. And what is with ‘expert’ John Aitken’s hair – next he will tell us he is 25 like Stacey
B: Even “experts” seems generous!
J: What even is a ‘relationship expert’?
B: I’m confused by John’s bowl cut (laugh face emoji). He gives me Mr Bean vibes
J: John, how can the contestants trust what they’re feeling when they know they’re being set up. Surely John et al are in on this
B: Yeah it’s OTT with the bad acting
J: Tash is frothing for Hayley. Hayley – ‘I’m such a good egg. I do feel judged constantly.’ I mean holy hell, yes Hayley we are judging you!!!!!
B: Stacey said she’s happy but the frozen look makes it hard to tell
J: I’m still trying to work out if Ivan found his phone from last week???
B: Poppy is clearly repulsed by Luke, she needs to stop blaming her kids
J: Exactly – Luke makes my skin crawl. Like literally I just had shivers down my back ugh
B: How are these “experts” still employed? Embarrassing
J: I don’t think they are employed, are they? Meanwhile how good is spaghetti bol on a Sunday night – delicious!!!
B: The best!
J: Cathy and Josh make me want to puke – he could fart in her face and she’d still be smiling. Is it a connection though or a hunger for them cash moneys as a successful couple post show
B: Yep she’ll get bored eventually I reckon. You don’t spend that much on plastic surgery to be with a boy next door
J: David says he is tired of not speaking his truth – I’m just tired of him and Hayley
B: Same. Mental at First Sight. Why do they all have thigh tatts? All that’s missing is a VB and ciggies
J: Amanda and Tash – bring it on!!!! just looking at them, surely they don’t look like a good match. Amanda looks like she’d go to bed by 7.30pm
B: Amanda is too intense
J: Tash – ‘I wish I felt burning firey chemistry but I don’t want to bullshit’. The eye roll from Amanda, ouch. Amanda is totally up for ‘intimacy’ with Tash. Tash has friend zoned Amanda and she’s not having a bar of it
B: She’s clearly not into Amanda but chose to stay because she wants insta fame
J: EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!! Amanda wants to tackle the ‘experiment’ by the balls! go gurl! Next couple … Michael and Stacey. Michael is a creep from that first episode where he came to blows with the blokes about taking the girl. Expert John gives Michael and Stacey 5 stars – gross
B: Stacey looks like Michael’s hot stepmum
J: Thoughts on Connie and Jonethen??? My boyfriend is always at me for being on my phone. He has a very high hairline #justsaying Chris and Vanessa, I forgot they were even on the show. Mikey looks 12
B: I can’t take Mr Bean seriously
J: Same. Mikey is pretending to be the nice guy, in reality he is a total player right? Steve is also a bit Mr Bean don’t you think?
B: Haha yep
J: There is so much more to the Poppy and Luke situation – she won’t stay. And it is not just cos of her two kids, she looks so uncomfortable with Luke
B: Oh gosh, more tears from Poppy. She’s a liar. Keeps using her kids as a cop out.
J: She’s staying????? what???? He’s staying???? ewww, no more sympathy for Poppy – you reap what you sow yeah
B: She needs to be in therapy not on a reality show.
J: True. I can’t stand Ivan, he scares me, and what is with this Botox – tooooo much! Burn – Aleks just shut Ivan down – I’m into tall, dark and handsome. Ivan is tall, one out of three. what do you think of Aleks and Ivan?
B: I think they’re both too up their own backsides to make it work.
J: rofl! is rofl even a thing still? showing my age
B: Haha! And you’re right about the Botox! They all got the Kylie Jenner special
J: David: ‘Hopefully we are able to air a lot of dirty laundry tonight. I came here with high hopes but don’t really hold a lot of hope for our relationship’. Ouch. Expert John sounds so insincere about their rocky time. Poor Dave and Hayley. Hayley and Dave hate each other – I bet they’ll stay to boost their profiles and they’re the only real storyline for the show. Producers won’t let them go. This is just cruel – whatever you think of Hayley or Dave, they are like shooting fish in a barrel, this is nasty, unnecessarily so
B: Yeah this kind of exploitation is next level. Uncomfortable viewing. Good work producers
J: No wonder they left this couple til the end, this is car crash. Why is Hayley apologising
B: For complaining about his wage
J: Cringe. Hayley – ‘I’ve got the biggest heart’. my question – do you have a big heart if you tell people you have a big heart? AND … they stay! gross
B: She needs to wash her mouth out with soap
J: Puke! John – ‘that was a very revealing commitment ceremony and we are very grateful for how raw and honest you have all been.’ I call bullshit – he is incredibly grateful because they made great TV. this is impossible not to watch
B: Yeah pass me a bucket. It pains me to say it. And, tomorrow night, they move in together … duh duh duh
J: MAFS. Ruining lives one day at a time