Parnell: Grape juice key to keeping Brad more sexty than 60

With the frankly unbelievable news Brad Pitt hit his big milestone this week, he joins a host of hot celebrities who are more sexty than sixty, writes Kerry Parnell.

Brad Pitt certainly puts the sexy into 60.

With the frankly unbelievable news that the Once Upon a Time in Hollywood star hit his big milestone earlier this week, he joins a host of hot celebrities who are more sexty than sixty.

I mean, truly, how can it be, that the actor, who first came to our attention in Thelma and Louise some 32 years ago (32 years!!), is already calculating his super payout?

Has someone sped-up time without us noticing?

Meanwhile, while most of us look in the mirror with increasing dismay – by most of us, I mean me – Brad doesn’t seem to be having that problem. If he has a Snow White-style Magic Mirror in his mansion, he’s not getting a daily bulletin of bad news when he quizzes it every morning, sending him scurrying off to source apples.

Brad Pitt is more sexty than sixty. Picture: Rudy Carezzevoli/Getty Images

Perhaps he has a portrait in his attic, instead … who knows.

Whatever his secret, he’s ageing like Benjamin Button, or Tom Cruise – same-same – with baby-smooth skin and an increasingly-youthful vigour.

Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Picture: AP Photo/Paramount Pictures/Merrick Morton

Perhaps it’s all down to the anti-ageing properties of his luxury skincare range Le Domaine, which has been developed by the actor and the Perrin family, using the antioxidants found in grapes from their vineyards in Provence.

“We can’t predict the future, but we can improve the future of your skin,” the brand’s tagline reads.

Tres bon, but be warned, the shock of the price tag of around $A360 for a pot of moisturiser might add a few more worry lines, ironically.

No matter, whatever he is doing, it’s working and the Bullet Train star is, as headlines stated this week, redefining the concept of ageing in Hollywood.

Plus, as we head into a week – oh, who are we kidding, a month – of chocolate-scoffing sloth, it brings joy to the world and peace to all mankind just to gaze on such a Christmas cracker.

Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie at this year’s Golden Globe Awards. Picture: Christopher Polk/NBC via Getty Images

And as Brad continues his tireless quest to defeat the odds of ageing, if he, like Frodo, is tempted to linger in The Lord of the Rings’ Lothlorien forest a bit too long, with its lure of timeless beauty, then who are we to hurry him along.

Luckily for him, he does not walk alone on his pioneering path, as brave Brad is joined by a band of brothers and sisters united in their fight against old-age and elasticated-waists.

Already signed up to the sexy-ganarian troupe, are Boromir/Ned Stark, Sean Bean (64); Aragorn, Viggo Mortensen (65); Elrond, Hugo Weaving (63); no-mission-is-impossible, Tom Cruise (61); Demi Moore (61); George Clooney (62); Madonna (65); Johnny Depp (60); Anthony Kiedis and Flea (61); Colin Firth (63), Lisa Kudrow (60); and Hugh Grant (63).

Joining them soon are those receiving their call-up papers in 2024, including Lenny Kravitz (who turns 60 in May), Matt Dillon (February), Russell Crowe (April), Courteney Cox (June), Rob Lowe (March) and … wait for it, king of the Matrix himself, Keanu Reeves, who celebrates his 60th in September.

With that news, you’d think even Shania Twain (58) might, finally, concede she’s impressed.