47 Ronin does not die an honourable death

TWO pressing questions immediately come to mind here. Where has Keanu Reeves been all these years? And why couldn't he have stayed there a little longer?

Not setting things on fire ... 47 Ronin is Keanu Reeves new film and it's far f...

47 RONIN [M]

Rating 1 star

Director: Carl Rinsch (feature debut)

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Hiroyuki Sanada, Rinko Kikuchi

Two pressing questions immediately come to mind here. Where has Keanu Reeves been all these years? And why couldn't he have stayed there a little longer?

To be fair, not even a true acting great could hope to kickstart a comeback with this lumbering bumbler of an martial-art epic.

Reeves dozily plays a disrespected mixed-caste samurai helping some dull mythical Japanese fighting types - of which there might be 47 - do battle with shapeshifting witches, ogres and sundry unworldly threats.

The best that can be said of Keanu's performance is that he does take a manly beating very convincingly when the situation calls for it early on in the picture. However, an action star Keanu is not. With those glory days of The Matrix and Point Break long gone, Reeves
in close combat moves as fluidly as setting cement.

The movie as a whole? It's a bit Lord Of the Rings in parts. That is if Peter Jackson was replaced at the directorial controls by someone who forgot to read the books, but remembered to watch movies like T he Last Airbender and The Mummy: Tomb Of the Dragon Emperor. The whole debacle cost more than 200 million bucks to make, and has only a handful of diverting visual effects to show for it. Avoid, dude.