Despite all the vroom-vroom revheads, CHiPS is disappointingly flat

FOR a movie full of vroom-vroom revheads, CHiPS is disappointingly flat. But should we have expected much more from Buddy Cop Movie #397?

REVIEW

THERE’S a disclaimer, intended to be humorous, right before the start credits that read “The California Highway Patrol does not endorse this film.”

By the time the end credits roll, it’s hard to imagine anyone does.

Adapted from the 1970s/80s TV series that made Erik Estrada and his voluminous mane a star, the modern-day incarnation is far from the breezy original where you rarely saw a pulled gun.

Alternating between dragged-out smut jokes — no one needs to hear about rimming for that long — and chaotic violence, CHiPS is another uninspiring buddy cop movie in a genre sagging from a shocking lack of originality.

Dax Shepard, who also wrote and directed the flick, plays Jon Baker, a former motorcycling champion turned rookie highway patrolman.

Jon is a genuinely nice guy who’s obviously being cuckolded by his wife (real-life wife Kristen Bell) and joined the California Highway Patrol in an effort to save his marriage. He’s got an uber-sensitive gag reflex and is kind of useless when it rains.

Michael Pena brings his particular brand of fast-talking comedy to Frank Poncherello, a cocky, sex-addict FBI agent assigned to go undercover in the CHP to investigate a series of deadly, multimillion-dollar armed robberies suspected to involve its officers.

Vincent D’Onofrio’s villainous, corrupt cop is menacing and somewhat-deranged but doesn’t have nearly the charisma or depth he recently brought to his portrayal of Wilson Fisk in Daredevil. There’s a thin thread pulling at a backstory and his motivations but it’s severed in quick fashion.

Not the guys you want to see in your rear mirror.

Ponch is possibly the worst undercover cop to grace the screen, he may as well have “FBI” tattooed to his forehead the way he arrogantly goes about his probing. But there’s not much in the way of an actual plot, just random scenes culminating in a guns-ablazing shoot-out away from the congested highways of Los Angeles.

But narrative sense isn’t really CHiPS’ priority, clearly.

CHiPS is mainly a vehicle for a lot of dick and butt jokes, ranging from erection-inducing yoga pants and some epic gay panic that’s no less cringeworthy just because one character calls it out for gay panic. And accidentally sexting with your boss instead of your similarly named hot co-worker? Yawn.

It has its moments — a stab at Oscar Pistorious lands surprisingly well — and the character of Jon, in all his post-therapy sensitive glory — is comparatively well-developed.

There are loads of cameos from the likes of Maya Rudolph, Jane Kaczmarek, David Koechner, Josh Duhamel and Ed Begley Jr, and keep an eye out for an Estrada pop-in near the end.

But for a movie with so many vroom-vroom revheads, CHiPS is disappointingly flat.

Rating: 1.5/5

CHiPS is in cinemas from today.

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California Blah-ve.

Originally published as Despite all the vroom-vroom revheads, CHiPS is disappointingly flat