Why the Queen’s lying in state brought reporter to tears

I have never felt an attachment to the royal family, but the Queen’s lying in state brought me to tears – and it wasn’t because of the coffin.

The coffin of Queen Elizabeth II, draped in a Royal Standard and adorned with the Imperial State Crown and the Sovereign's orb and sceptre, inside Westminster Hall. Picture: Marco Bertorello – WPA Pool/Getty Images

As mourners slowly passed the Queen’s coffin and tears rolled down my cheeks, I realised I couldn’t be told how much the late monarch meant to people: I needed to feel it.

Hours before the world learnt of the Queen’s death, I stood in Westminster Hall and looked down at two brass plaques.

They stated George VI and Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother lay in state there in 1952 and 2002.

I was unaware that nine days later – on my very first trip to London – I would be in that same hall as their daughter, Queen Elizabeth II, lay in state there herself.

The exact spot the Queen would soon lay in state seen just hours before her death.

The coffin of Queen Elizabeth II, draped in the Royal Standard with the Imperial State Crown and the Sovereign's orb and sceptre, now lay there. Picture: Marko Djurica/WPA Pool/Getty Images

The intention of being in the hall, watching from above as hundreds of mourners filed through to say thank you and goodbye, was to report on the historic occasion.

But as the grief and sadness consuming the room washed over me, my vision became blurry and I suddenly realised it was a mistake to think I didn’t need to bring a tissue.

From a young girl in a floral dress to a tall man donning his British army medals: the loss of this woman could be seen in red faces, quivering lips and wet eyes.

Many walked alone, but they were far from alone when it came to the pang of heartache upon seeing the coffin before them – raised on a platform surrounded by ten still guards and four flickering candles.

The heartache could be seen across the many faces passing by the Queen’s coffin in Westminster Hall. Picture: Marko Djurica/WPA Pool/Getty Images

The raw emotion was moving. Picture: Marko Djurica/WPA Pool/Getty Images

Queen Elizabeth II died at 96, but there is still a sense of disbelief among royalists that she is gone. For most people in the UK, she has been the Queen their entire life.

I have never felt a personal attachment to the royal family – like many young people living more than 15,200km away in Australia.

In the past week I have spoken to more than 50 strangers one-on-one to better understand their love – or otherwise – for their monarchy.

While they have been eye-opening conversations, nothing could have conveyed what the Queen meant to the British people more than being in that hall.

Thousands have queued overnight for this moment. Picture: Yui Mok/WPA Pool/Getty Images

Both young and old were moved by the experience. Picture: Marco Bertorello/WPA Pool/Getty Images

About 73 metres long with a high medieval hammerbeam roof, the huge hall was silent, yet so much was being said.

It was in the sombre expressions and slow steps of those who entered the room.

It was in the bows, curtsies, and kisses blown before the coffin.

And it was the way heads were lowered, smiles were forced and there was a second look back as people exited the hall completely moved.

They would never be this close to their Queen – a familiar figure who broadcast a message into their homes every Christmas, bar one, for 70 years – again.

For me, it was not seeing the coffin that triggered tears but the feeling of loss that had seeped into every crevice of that 925-year-old building.

Originally published as Why the Queen’s lying in state brought reporter to tears