Savage Prince Harry burn over prospect of UK return

The possibility of Harry and Meghan’s UK return has been met with a shocking reaction from the Wales camp.

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Pity the mailbox belonging to Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

The sustainably sourced recycled California oak number, I’m guessing, has been lacking of late. Lacking any sort of invitation to King Charles’ big birthday do, all Twizzlers and Montrachet, and lacking, I think we can confidently assume, any of the royal family’s official Christmas cards.

No King Charles and Queen Camilla looking a tad over it in their Coronation finest, two people giving off the impression that their corn plasters have come unstuck and they’ve just remembered they forgot to VHS the National Velvet rerun. No William and Kate, the Prince and Princess of Wales and their kids really giving it the full ‘JCrew catalogue shoot circa 1994’. And no Princess Anne, along with her husband Sir Timothy Laurence, attempting something smile-adjacent.

Meghan and Harry probably won’t be getting a Christmas Card from the Waleses this year. Picture: Josh Shinner/Kensington Palace via Getty Images

But despite all of this lack, still, the duke has made it clear he wants to go back to the UK - and that is a possibility that would “go down like a bucket of warm sick” for the Prince and Princess of Wales.

Last week, in a witness statement read out in court by his barrister Shaheed Fatima KC, Harry declared: “The UK is my home. The UK is central to the heritage of my children, and a place I want them to feel at home as much as where they live at the moment in the United States.”

(The specific court case here being the one he is fighting, against the Home Office over its ruling to deny giving him automatic police protection while he is in Britain.)

Last month, a pal of the Sussexes popped up in the Sunday Times to reveal they fancied spending the holidays at Sandringham, roasting chestnuts by the fire and teaching the Windsors about the power of manifestation.

It was an offer that somehow His Majesty easily refused.

Harry, short of sticking his thumb out outside the BA First Class Lounge at LAX to hop a ride back to London couldn’t make his hopes on this front more apparent. (Or at least his willingness to make that argument for the benefit of the court.)

Prince Harry has made it clear he wants to go back to the UK. Picture: Daniel LEAL / AFP

Then there are William and Kate’s feelings on the matter, which could best be characterised as ‘vehement’ based on a new report. The possibility that the Sussexes might spend more time in Blighty is one that has been “ridiculed” by friends of the prince and princess, according to the Daily Beast’s Tom Sykes.

“The one saving grace of this whole situation is that [the Sussexes] live 5000 miles away,” a Wales friend told Sykes. “The idea of them coming back here will go down like a bucket of warm sick.”

(Golly, tell us how you really feel.)

That “saving grace” of distance though, an entire ocean plus a continent plus the full width of Oprah’s estate, might lie between the brothers grim and their families now - but for how long?

The Waleses might be about as keen on the Sussexes’ coming back as letting Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York perform their next root canal without anaesthetic but there is the matter of the King’s feelings too.

A friend of His Majesty has told Sykes that Charles would be “thrilled” if the Montecito Malcontents spent more time back in the UK.

Friends of Kate and William have said the return of Harry and Meghan would “go down like a bucket of warm sick”. Picture: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

However, it strikes me this is one of those ‘be careful what you wish for via pal as press proxy’ situations. Because, would it really look like if Harry, Meghan, the kids and their caravan of aides, nannies and personal aromatherapists all started to spend more time in Britain?

In short: A nightmare. A nightmare for Buckingham and Kesington Palaces and all who toil within.

Consider what we know of Harry, a man who talks about healing and yet permanently seems moments away from self-combusting out of outrage and self-righteousness.

The Sussexes’ prickly, if not antagonistic, relationship with some quarters of the UK press, would make things positively flammable. (Are they the rayon of royalty?) For one thing, Harry and Meghan would be photographed, snapped and pursued like gazelle on the Serengeti.

The ensuing tabloid hullabaloo of a sideshow would end up well and truly ruining whatever was going on on the main stage in the royal circus tent.

Prince Harry spending more time in the UK would inevitably lead to a media circus. Picture: Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for Project Healthy Minds

What do you think people would prefer to click on or read about? The King’s diligent, ongoing efforts to reduce food waste or a 47 picture gallery of Meghan stepping out of a fleet of Range Rovers in five figures worth of caramel cashmere to pick up a Pret protein bowl?

Then there is the fact that in this Sussexes-in-the-UK- scenario, it seems unlikely that they would be happy to sit at home, wherever ‘home’ might be, twiddling their thumbs and replanting the herbaceous borders. The duke especially would want to be out and about on the charity hustings, energetically supporting his UK patronages.

And Meghan. Given that she guest-edited Vogue, supported a cookbook, and helped release a charity clothing collection in a matter of months, while pregnant and on maternity leave, and also while on the royal clock, imagine what she could do now, long since emancipated from clucking courtiers and in real need of a PR win.

The duke and duchess would be, at best, a painful distraction for Crown Inc, and at worst, could end up running a fully-fledged counter court.

Right now, the Sussexes might be a recurrent problem for the King and the prince and princess but it is at least one that is happening over there and out of sight. The palace’s current approach towards the couple, of pursed lips and determinedly ignoring whatever Harry and Meghan are saying/doing/selling, just won’t work if they are all stuck in the same postcode or thereabouts.

If Harry is genuine in his UK sentiments, despite Meghan’s seeming reluctance to step foot onto British territory, then the Palace ringmasters face a veritable carnival of crises in 2024. What can I say but, send in the frowns.

Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.

Originally published as Savage Prince Harry burn over prospect of UK return