Annette Sharp: The women vying for a spot on Real Housewives of Sydney

Screentesting is under way for the latest series of Real Housewives of Sydney, with a dozen frank and fabulous women trying out in the hope of scoring one of seven roles.

Screentesting is under way for the latest series of Real Housewives of Sydney.

A dozen frank and fabulous women have tested in the hope of scoring one of seven roles on the Foxtel reality show.

Producers look to have signed off on the return of former favourites Nicole Gazal O’Neil and Krissy Marsh.

Terry Biviano and Anthony Minichiello appear to be no further in their house redevelopment. Picture: Getty Images

Missing from the new series will be firebrands Lisa Oldfield and Victoria Rees, eccentric Athena X Levendi, the timid Melissa Tkautz and cosmetic nurse Matty Samaei. At least one of the five is said to be livid about being overlooked for the reboot.

Also spotted slipping into auditions was former Seven Network personality and cancer survivor Sally Obermeder, style icon and social commentator Melissa Hoyer, and former rugby league WAG Terry Biviano.

We hear the women tested in groups of four to test on-screen chemistry, although Foxtel is expected to cast seven housewives again.

One new name in the mix is Victoria Montano, a fashion and lifestyle consultant who describes herself as a “mini skirt expert” and horse lover.

Melissa Hoyer. Picture: John Appleyard

An older name is fashion designer Charlie Brown.

While this column wishes the affable Biviano luck with her audition, we struggle to understand how she will go shooting “at home” segments given little progress appears to have been made on The Biv’s under-construction Vaucluse house since our report in September.

She and her husband, former Sydney Roosters player Anthony Minichiello, are in the fifth year of their dream home build, nine years after they purchased their brick 1980s fixer-upper with a plan to transform it into their three-storey dream home.

Via this column the couple previously assured neighbours who had mounted objections to the development they would complete the house this year.

Surviving Harry mania — mum style

Eleven Harrys greet you each morning as you enter your daughter’s bedroom.

His green eyes follow you from the walls, the shelves, the computer screen saver, while two vinyl album sleeves are propped up on photo stands like Olsens or Whiteleys, demanding appreciation.

His lyrics are Blu-Tacked to the wall: “Wish I could get to know you”, “I’ll be gone too long from you”, “I just wanna taste it”, “I’m having your baby” … and there’s a puzzling trail of yellow feathers from the garage, through the house and into Miss 15’s upstairs room.

When Harry Styles mania arrives in your teenager’s life, it arrives full force, up-ending everything like a runaway mardi gras float loaded with a menagerie of exotic species dispensing pastel popsicles along with leaflets on sexual fluidity.

There’s simply nowhere to escape the influence of the global marketing phenomenon.

Harry Styles performs on stage during The Brit Awards in February. Picture: Getty Images

An escape to the family car will only reveal it, too, is enchanted.

Each and every time you turn the engine over, Bluetooth automatically connects to your phone and loads the last playlist your daughter deejayed for your tactical indoctrination.

Her Harry mix floods the car: Late Night Talking, Boyfriends, Kiwi, Adore You — then a surprise departure, Silver Tongues by fellow One Direction member Louis Tomlinson — then back to Harry for a dozen more soft-rock/British pop love songs.

How did this happen?

How did Harry Mania explode like a technicoloured fizzing bomb in a house where The Smiths’ Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now (and more recently Amyl and the Sniffers’ Security) is generally on high rotation?

If, like me, you are now in the grip of this musical delirium and counting down to Styles’ forthcoming Sydney concerts in two weeks (yes, She and a million like her will be in the nose bleeds, both nights) you will know there are things you can say around a “Harrie”, the label given to fans, and things you absolutely must NOT say.

These lists grow frustratingly longer by the day.

On the MUST NEVER say list

Cover boy Harry Styles on the front of Vogue. Picture: Tyler Mitchell

“Harry is straight”: This, it seems to me, is the second-most offensive thing you can say about Styles.

He may have dated women but that does not, by today’s loose definitions, make him straight.

You must not assume his sexuality because he dates women or you will be in big trouble.

“Oh look, Harry’s wearing a dress. Do you think it’s so he resonates with his gay male fans?”

This is definitely THE worst thing you can say. Once said, an argument is guaranteed to follow because once again you’ve assumed he is straight, coupled with something far worse. Argument begins with “Are you ACCUUUUUUUSING Harry of queer-baiting?” and an expression on your generally sunny daughter’s face that you’ve never seen before.

Queerbaiting is a marketing strategy where same-sex love is hinted at but not confirmed by individuals or companies seeking to win favour with the LGBTQI+ audience.

If you genuinely love Harry, who has refused to label his sexuality, you would never accuse him of such a thing.

“ … but perhaps he loved Olivia Wilde ...”

Styles may have had a relationship with the actor/director of his recent film Don’t Worry Darling, which was widely panned, but clearly it was not love as it didn’t last.

Cougar Wilde, ex Mrs Ted Lasso, made a bazillion enemies when she started dating the most famous pop star in the world.

As a result She (and I, because it’s assumed I will follow her instructions) will never see Don’t Worry Darling thanks to Wilde’s involvement with it and because leading lady Florence Pugh refused to promote it.

Follow Annette’s tips on Mr Styles and peace can reign at home ... and in the car. Picture: Getty

“I love that blouse, but I don’t know if it suits Harry ...”

Never comment on Styles’ wardrobe. Not. Ever. It’s always excellent.

Other non-negotiable Nevers include: Never remark that you saw One Direction in concert in 2015 and thought support act 5SOS were better on the night; Never sing along with and over Louis in a song; Never impersonate Styles or mimic him trying to say “obviously” (o-vush-ly); Never begin a conversation about Styles’ hair for it may never end (though if it does, it will end with the emphatic assertion that cutting his hair was “ …the best and worst thing Styles has ever done – RIP long hair Harry”).

Things you MAY say

Any praise of Styles is welcome and any informed interest rewarded.

Suggested conversation starters: “When is Harry going to release the studio version of Medicine?”; “Where is the Two Ghosts music video?”; “When can we expect a 1D reunion tour?” and “Should we go shopping for something to wear to Harry’s concert that goes with that yellow feather boa?”

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