Annette Sharp: Happy family secret revealed at Doug Mulray funeral

Doug Mulray’s mischievous spark will live on in his three children, who brought the house down at a private farewell for the much-loved radio star, writes Annette Sharp.

Doug Mulray’s mischievous spark will live on in his three children — Tom, Rosie and James.

The radio star’s offspring brought the house down at a private farewell for Mulray held at Doltone House in Pyrmont last week.

Fans of Mulray’s Triple M radio show will vividly recall the star’s frequent broadcast updates on “the twins”, Tom and Rosie, born around the time of his departure from once-great FM station Triple M in 1992.

Today Mulray’s twins with wife Lizzie Muir are aged about 31. Tom is a software engineer while Rosie, or Rosemary, works as an editor and proofreader.

On Monday “the twins” and their sibling James took it in turns to honour their famous dad in what turned out to be an appropriately zany farewell for the much-loved radio broadcaster who died earlier this month at 71.

Mourners said Mulray’s final years were spent avoiding the spotlight, playing guitar with mates and enjoying his family, which includes two de facto granddaughters.

The girls, it turns out, were born to a son Mulray’s wife Lizzie gave up for adoption almost 50 years ago and with whom they were only recently reunited.

Doug Mulray with his wife picking up a new motorbike in 2000. Picture: Peter Clark

Tom had mourners — including Andrew Denton and Jennifer Byrne, Lisa Wilkinson, and Mikey Robins — in fits with a retelling of one of his father’s favourite jokes.

Here’s the joke, “the world’s greatest joke” as recalled by radio star Brendan Jones:

“So this guy walks into a bar and he’s got a head like half an orange …

The bartender looks at him and thinks ‘Jeez this guy’s got a head like half an orange, but I won’t say anything’.

And the guy sits down at the bar and says: ‘Get me a schooner of beer thanks mate.’

And the bartender goes: ‘Yeah, no worries.’

And the guy starts pulling all this cash out of his pockets. All this cash is falling on the ground.

And the bartender says: ‘Mate you’re dropping cash everywhere …’

And the guy says: ‘Don’t worry, there’s plenty where that came from.’

And the bartender takes a look at the guy and he can’t help himself. He says: ‘Mate, if you don’t mind me asking, but you’ve got a head like half an orange …’

The guy says: ‘Yeah I get that a fair bit.’

Radio presenter Brendan Jones told one of Mulray’s favourite jokes.

Bartender: ‘Well, how did that come about?’

And the guy says: ‘Well I was walking down the street and there was a junkpile. And I saw a genie’s lamp in the bottom of the junkpile and I thought, Well I’ll give it a rub …’

So I rubbed the lamp and out pops a genie.

‘Well you’re a genie,’ I said. And the genie said ‘Yeah’.

‘Are you giving three wishes, is that still a thing?’ the guy asked.

And the genie said: ‘Yeah, yeah, still do that.’

And the guy responded: ‘Well I’m up for some wishes then!’

And the genie goes: ‘Well just remember this. Theses wishes come with great responsibility, so be responsible about this. Okay?’

And the guy goes: ‘Yeah okay. Right …’

So he thinks about it and he says: ‘You know what, I’m gonna wish for my pockets, whatever pants I’m wearing, to be always to be full of cash …’

The genie goes: ‘Righty-o. Done.’

Next minute there’s all this cash coming out of the guy’s pockets and he goes ‘I got another wish?’

‘Yes,’ says the genie, ‘But just remember, be careful. Wishes can have two meanings. Just be careful what you wish for.’

The guy goes: ‘Right okay … Can I go and get a coffee? I’ll think about it. Do you want one? I’ve got plenty of cash. I’ll buy you one …’

The genie replies: ‘Get me a skim flat white.’

And the guy comes back with two coffees and says: ‘You know what I want? I want a big house, a very big house in the country, with a pool, and garage, and cars and motorbikes and lots of rooms for all my friends.’

And the genie goes: ‘Done. Pooft. There’s your second wish.’

Then he says: ‘You’ve got one wish – and I don’t need to tell you about how you wish because remember it comes with great responsibility …’

And the guy goes: ‘Yeah, no worries. I’ve got it all covered …’

‘You know what I’ve always wanted?’ he says. ‘A head like half an orange’.”

Not to be outdone, Rosie, an accomplished a cappella singer, finished the proceedings with a dazzling rendition of her father’s 1993 hit Werewolf.

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