Divorce papers close to being served on marriage of convenience between England, KP

ROBERT Craddock says the relationship between England and Kevin Pietersen has always been one of pragmatism.

WHEN the English cricket side landed in Melbourne after losing the Ashes in Perth, Kevin Pietersen was not among them.

The batting maverick had caught a 7am flight the day before the rest of his teammates and sat in a business class seat, occasionally peering through the window beside him down to the vast brown, arid expanses that sum up the unforgiving country Australia is in every way.

As always, he looked a man slightly detached and it was not the greatest of looks.

Teams under siege should stay together, not travel in fragments but then Pietersen has always lived on his own planet.

Soon after announcing his retirement on Sunday, spinner Graeme Swann claimed that "some people playing the game at the minute have no idea how far up their own backsides they are and it will bite them on the arse one day and when it does I hope they look back and are embarrassed about how they carry on. No names."

News_Image_File: Graeme Swann with Andrew Strauss, who had a fractious relationship with Kevin Pietersen.

All eyes looked towards Pietersen who is not close to Swann at all. Swann, realising he has caused an instant bushfire, suddenly pulled out the fire hose to say that his claims did not include players from the current dressingroom.

It was a deft piece of tap-dancing but eyes are still looking at Pietersen. When England were going well and Pietersen was in great form the bond between the man and his team was a marriage of convenience for both.

But the turmoil engulfing England on this disastrous Ashes tour has left out-of-form Pietersen and England looking at each other like an old couple sharing a house with leaks in the roof, mice in the cupboards and electricity bills piling up by the month.

It's all becoming a bit hard.

Rarely has a prosperous era been so brutally truncated as England's this tour and there could be further blood on the floor on Thursday if keeper Matt Prior is dropped for the last two Tests.

Much has been made of the decision of Swann to retire and batsman Jonathan Trott to head home with a stress-related illness.

News_Rich_Media: Monty Panesar says England will come out fighting in the remaining two Ashes Test with the veteran tipped to replace the retired Graeme Swann.

Prior's departure would be felt almost as deeply.

His failure this tour has essentially been designated to the fine print beneath headlines attributed to the struggles of Jimmy Anderson and Swann but a batting average of 17 compared to a career average of around 41 says he has been all but cut in half.

Prior has not missed a Test since being recalled for England in 2009 yet he has scored only one half century for England in any form of the game since March and he twice missed stumpings off David Warner in Perth when he made a second innings century.

The pain of those misses affected him deeply as he admitted in his weekly newspaper column.

"This is England's lowest moment as a team," Prior wrote.

"What disappointed me the most about my performance was missing the stumping of David Warner when he was on 13. I am big enough to admit that."

News_Rich_Media: England coach Andy Flower has suggested he could make a number of changes heading into the fourth Ashes Test at the MCG, with Matt Prior under significant pressure.

If Prior is dropped, youngster Jonny Bairstow will be promoted. Though he is ranked no higher than the fourth or fifth best gloveman in England, Bairstow, son of former Test gloveman David, is a renowned fighter whose combative qualities are just what this ragged England team needs.

England are copping it from everywhere as they tend to do when things go wrong on an Australian tour.

Former England captain Michael Vaughan once recalled that among the things that annoyed him most on an Australian tour was school children smirking at him when they knew he was an English cricketer having a rough tour.

Former allrounder Phil DeFreitas, who was part of winning and losing Ashes outfits to Australia, said a tour here was heaven or hell and not much in between.

"I have always said that Australia is the best place in the world to tour when you're winning," DeFreitas told the London Telegraph yesterday.

News_Image_File: Phil DeFreitas says tours of Australia can only go one of two ways.

"But when you're losing, and losing badly, it's the absolute worst. People are knocking you everywhere you go - in the hotel, in the airport, in the restaurant. It's all over the newspapers and the TV, and when you go out on the field, the Aussies are chirping at you, saying: 'This could be the last Test you play for England.'

Sadly, for several members of the current squad, this statement is the truth.