Mike Rowe: Dirty Jobs host dishes the dirt during Reddit Q&A

THIS man has been hired and fired from 300 jobs over the past decade. Now he’s revealed the best and worst things he’s seen on the job.

TV program "Dirty Jobs" - Vexcom Exterminators Description Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe gets exterminating experie...

THIS man has been hired and fired from 300 jobs over the past decade. You could almost say he’s made a career out of it.

Mike Rowe, host of the popular Discovery Channel series Dirty Jobs and the upcoming CNN show Somebody’s Gotta Do It, took to Reddit earlier this week to dish the dirt on what went on behind the scenes.

From mafia-controlled factories to how he kept in shape during filming, here are some of the best questions and responses.

THE MAFIA

Q: What dirty jobs did you always want to do but the network or producers wouldn’t let you do?

“The segments I was most interested in doing but found the most resistance around was that of a rendering facility. Aside from the fact that ‘rendering facilities’ are by their very definition optically horrific, there was another concern that I had not considered.

“That concern can be spelled out with the following letters. M-O-B. That’s right — the mob is still involved in a surprising number of rendering facilities. Why the mob has such a rich history in garbage-related industries and rendering-related industries is a conversation beyond my pay grade.

“I only know how relieved I was to finally find a rendering outfit that was not owned or operated by the Cosa Nostra. That facility was in Northern California. And they were called North State Rendering.

“To this day, I’m impressed with how brave they were in their decision to let us provide our viewers with an unvarnished look at what it takes to turn a dead cow into several hundred pounds of chicken feed.”

The long-running show finished up in 2012.

SHOCKING JOB

Q: What job shocked you the most by finding out how awful it really was?

“Many jobs appear bad at a glance, only to get much worse at a second glance. And some jobs simply get worse and worse with every subsequent glance, which is why (of course) many people watch the program with their eyes closed.

“I was never in a position to close my eyes, and consequently, I enjoyed a front-row seat to a great variety of pits, and holes, that most people simply don’t know exist. One brief example might be the interior of an ocean buoy.

“In the Coast Guard, buoy tenders are responsible for hoisting these giant steel contraptions out of the ocean, and refurbishing them.

“In this case, ‘refurbishment’ means crawling into a woefully inadequate tube not much larger than the space taken up by your shoulders, and wiggling your way like a worm into the shadowy depths whereupon you begin to remove the barnacles and various other forms of nautical life with a stick or some other improvised tool.”

KEEPING FIT

Q: Do you follow an exercise/weightlifting routine?

“For a while, when I agonised over maintaining the illusion of fitness, I committed myself to a routine that centred around burpees.

“Also known as the Prison Workout, burpees require one to drop from a standing position into a squat. Then you kick your legs backward, and do a push-up. Then, you return to the squatting position. Then, you leap into the air as high as you can. Then you do it again.

“And again. And again. Until you are either a) No longer fat, or b) Vomiting uncontrollably. The end.”

Mike Rowe tries his hand at opal mining in South Australia.

RESPECT

Q: Hey Mike, what profession have you gained the most respect for over the years?

“At the risk of sounding overly earnest (and too metaphorical), I’m going to say: the welder.

“Welders not only work their asses off, they’re in high demand, and critical to polite society. The entire world, including our infrastructure, and the building in which I currently find myself, is held together with welds.

“Remove the welder retroactively from the species, and the whole thing s***s the bed.”

TRADE SKILLS

Q: What are the biggest obstacles in the fight against the decline of the blue-collar trades?

“The short answer is: perception. The number of people who depend upon a workable infrastructure and a skilled trade force are coincidentally the same number of people who currently inhabit the planet.

“For a long list of reasons, parents, teachers, and guidance counsellors have begun to emphasise one specific form of education. At the expense of all the others.

“In this country, it’s widely believed that a four-year degree [is required] for most people. Unfortunately, that’s insane.

“Of the three million available jobs today, less than 20 per cent require a four-year degree.

“The rest require training, and a willingness to learn a skill that’s actually in-demand. On top of everything else, we have student loans outstanding in excess of $1 trillion dollars.

“In short, we’re lending money we don’t have to kids who can’t pay it back so they can educate themselves for jobs that no longer exist.”

Cane toad handler?

HARDEST JOB

Q: Which dirty job was the hardest on you both physically and mentally?

“In general, any day that begins with a man handing you a sledgehammer and concludes with the same man taking the sledgehammer away 12 hours later is going to be a difficult day.

“However, the absolute worst in terms of physical discomfort combined with soul-deadening ennui involves the cleaning of the drum on a cement mixer.

“No one really thinks about it, but these trucks are in constant use. And every time the drum spins, a thin layer of cement hardens in the interior. So by the end of the day, the inside of the drum on a cement mixer is essentially solid.

“So the job in question requires a man to wedge himself inside with a pneumatic jackhammer. Yeah. The sound is indescribable. And the claustrophobia is off the charts.

“Essentially, you lay there on your back directing the jackhammer over your head and all around you. You wear ear protection, a respirator, and goggles.

“But NONE of it makes a damn bit of difference. Because that job hurts on every level.”

DIRTIEST JOB

Q: What was your dirtiest job?

“God, I’ve never heard that one before, let’s see ... Tough to beat replacing a ruptured lift pump. That’s the four-tonne motor at the bottom of a five-storey silo that processes all of your crap.

“And by ‘crap’ I mean literally your crap. When the lift pump breaks, the silo fills with excrement. And in order to stop the poop from flooding the streets and causing a modern-day Armageddon, men in woefully inadequate Tyvek suits descend a spiral staircase and muscle their way through a series of watertight doors.

“At which point, they swim — that’s right, swim — to the ruptured lift pump, and climb on top of it. Then, other men lower a cable from five storeys above. The cable is affixed to the ruptured lift pump, and the entire apparatus is slowly lifted up towards the heavens.

“The sound a ruptured lift pump makes when it breaks the seal of s*** holding it to the floor will forever haunt your dreams.”

Originally published as Mike Rowe: Dirty Jobs host dishes the dirt during Reddit Q&A