Choice Shonky Awards 2018: The worst products you can buy
A TOASTER which doesn’t toast bread, portable cots which can potentially suffocate children and a magnetic therapy device which offers no pain relief whatsoever have been named some of this year’s dodgiest deals.
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A toaster which doesn’t toast bread, portable cots which can potentially suffocate children and a magnetic therapy device which offers no pain relief whatsoever have been named some of this year’s dodgiest deals.
Choice’s annual Shonky Awards for 2018’s worst consumer deals took aim at seven companies including the Commonwealth Bank, Marriott Vacation Club International, Bioglan and Kellogg’s.
The KitchenAid 2-Slice KMT2116 toaster — which costs a whopping $189 — was tested by Choice and found to produce “dry, slightly warm bread.” Choice said the toaster was nothing more than a stylish, pricey paperweight which simply sends your money up in smoke.
The consumer action group took aim at Commonwealth bank for its Dollarmites school banking program, which it claims is simply a clever way to market bank products to children.
“The Dollarmites program uses slick marketing to target primary kids at school, turning them into long-term customers of a bad-value bank,” Choice CEO Alan Kirkland said.
“Once you factor in recent revelations that Commonwealth Bank staff fraudulently activated Dollarmite accounts for personal gain, awarding them a Shonky was an easy decision.”
Other Shonky ‘winners’ included hotel chain Marriott’s Timeshare deal, which allows customers to buy into a 40-year holiday contract that could, based on Choice’s calculations end up costing up to half a million dollars.
Another winner were magnetic therapy devices made by the brands Dick Wicks and BioMagnetic Sport, which promise to relieve pain, but according to Choice simply relieve you of your money.
Choice also tested a number of portable cot brands and found they posed a risk of either suffocation or head entrapment for babies. Choice has called for a recall of the following brands 4baby, Babyco, Babyhood, Baby Bjorn, Baby Solutions, Childcare, Elite Baby, Joie, Love N Care, Phil & Teds, Steelcraft, Target and Vee Bee.
WHAT CHOICE SAYS ABOUT WHAT MAKES THE LIST
● Portable cots — for putting kids’ safety at risk
When CHOICE tested portable cots, we found that the vast majority failed our stringent safety tests. Alarmingly, most of the products we tested pose a risk of either suffocation or head entrapment (or both) to babies. 4baby, Babyco, Babyhood, Baby Bjorn, Baby Solutions, Childcare, Elite Baby, Joie, Love N Care, Phil & Teds, Steelcraft, and Target and Vee Bee are among the manufacturers whose portacots CHOICE wants to see recalled.
● Commonwealth Bank — for spruiking banking products in our schools
The Commonwealth Bank’s Dollarmite school marketing program mixes unchecked corporate greed with primary schools, according to the judges. Employing subversive sales tactics under the guise of youth education is a particularly disgraceful act, worthy of collecting the bank a Shonky.
Who can weasel its way into our schools? CommBank can.
● Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain — for putting the squeeze on better health with its Nutri-Grain ‘To Go’ range
The original ‘Ironman Food’ creator claims its new ‘To Go’ range is “perfect for young Aussies on the go”. When we discovered the Nutri-Grain Banana & Honey Smash Protein Squeezer contains a whopping 14.7g of sugar per packet in contrast to the 5.6g of protein it so heavily promotes, Nutri-Grain’s association with elite athletes became a little hard to swallow.
● KitchenAid — for failing miserably at its one job — making toast
The KitchenAid 2-Slice KMT2116 toaster will set you back $189, but it won’t make toast.
CHOICE tests showed all it served up was dry, slightly warm bread. There are better ways to make a statement in your kitchen than buying this pricey paperweight. For sending money up in smoke, KitchenAid takes home a Shonky.
● Bioglan — for dreaming up a fantasy cure for insomnia
For the second year in a row Bioglan have taken out a Shonky for some questionable claims on their products. Despite spruiking its ability to “relieve mild temporary insomnia and symptoms of mild nervous tension” Bioglan melatonin homoeopathic sleep formula contains only trace amounts of the drug and is little more than a placebo.
● Marriott Timeshare — for passing off a lifetime of debt as a cheap way to take a holiday
Marriott Vacation Club International’s timeshare deal requires you to buy into a 40-year contract that could, based on CHOICE calculations, see you spend nearly half a million dollars over the course of the contract — around ten times the amount it would cost to simply book a holiday when you needed to. For ripping people off who just want to take a break, Marriott Vacation Club joins this year’s winners’ circle.
● Magnetic therapy devices — for using weak health claims to pull on hip pockets
Magnetic therapy devices from brands such as Dick Wicks and BioMagnetic Sport promise to relieve pain, but with no evidence to back up these claims, the only thing they’ll relieve you of is money. The brands behind these devices dish out dodgy medical advice and charge a small fortune for their products.