Barefoot Investor: When money is tight, you don’t have to go it alone
Mental health and financial stress are intricately linked and most of us know when we are struggling mentally, it is important to reach out. But it’s crucial to remember there is help at hand for financial worries also, writes the Barefoot Investor.
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Cough, cough, cough.”
My wife rolled over in bed and shot me a dagger: “What was THAT?”
For the next few minutes I successfully stopped myself from coughing, but it felt like my head was going to explode.
Then it burst out again: “Cough, cough, cough.”
“First thing tomorrow, you’re getting tested,” huffed my six-month-pregnant wife.
And the next morning I dutifully did.
The lady came out to my car sporting full hazmat get-up, two oversized earbuds and a rough kerbside manner.
“This is probably going to hurt”, she said from beneath her face mask and protective visor.
“You really shouldn’t say that, because …”
At that point she stuck the swab deep into the back of my throat.
Then, as I was dry-retching, she poked the other stick so far up my nostril it felt like it hit my eyeball.
Then the other. And a few seconds later it was all over.
“It hurt, right?” she said.
When I arrived home I was a little shaken up, so I stretched out my arms for a reassuring cuddle from my three-year-old daughter.
She took a step back, folded her arms, scrunched up her little face, and grumbled: “Daddy is sick”.
I was officially the leper of the family.
As my cough intensified, it slowly dawned on me that, despite doing all the right things (self-isolating on the farm, wearing a face mask in public), I had contracted the “Rona”.
My next 36 hours were full of anxiety.
I sat up in bed “doom scrolling” — reading depressing reports about the virus.
Soon I’d have the shame of adding to the Premier’s daily “COVID count” (aka Dan’s Daily Disease ’n’ Death Diatribe). I felt totally out of control. And that’s when it hit me: people stay up at night with the same worries about their debts.
In fact, Beyond Blue came out with research this week finding that financial stress and mental health are intimately linked.
It’s well known that when you’re struggling mentally the first step is to call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
It’s less well known that when you’re struggling financially the first step is to call the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007.
(My hope is that one of the things that comes out of this pandemic is that the National Debt Helpline will be just as well known as Lifeline or Beyond Blue).
Yet just as I started to peak out, my phone buzzed.
It was a text message: “COVID-19 virus was NOT DETECTED.”
Phew!
I threw down my phone and fell into a deep sleep.
Well, until I was woken by my wife in the middle of the night: “Cough, cough, cough.”
Tread Your Own Path!
READERS WRITE
MY WIFE IS TOO SPIRITUAL TO WORK
BARRY WRITES: My wife and I have been married almost 16 years and we have school-aged kids.
I have always encouraged her to contribute to the family budget.
And she has, but earns just a few hundred dollars a month with her holistic medicine business. She is a very spiritual person and does not believe in hard work.
Our date nights get stuck — we just cannot buy a house and develop financial independence. Should I persevere, or respect her right to work as little as she wants?
BAREFOOT REPLIES: If I were in your shoes … actually I wouldn’t be in your shoes, because before we got hitched my wife and I signed up for marriage counselling.
The pastor asked a lot of very direct questions, like: “How much do you want to earn?” and “What role do finances play in your life?”
Bad luck, Baz! That ship sailed 16 years ago and now you’re up a creek without a paddle. Now I don’t have a tarot card but I’d suggest there’s something deeper going on with her. The “I can’t work because I’m a spiritual person” is an excuse.
After all, Jesus was a chippie who got on the tools (though he didn’t work on the Sabbath). Something’s going on. Yet arguing with her is unlikely to work.
So what can you do?
Well, don’t make it about her. Instead, focus on your kids.
Kids model their parents, and she’s teaching them to avoid work and shirk financial responsibility.
How will that shape their lives?
What consequences will that have for them?
Here’s the deal: hard work has its own reward. You could even say the feeling of doing a great job … is spiritual.
TRAPPED BY FUNERAL INSURANCE
SARAH WRITES: My mother-in-law took out funeral insurance way back in 2004. Since then she has paid approximately $29,000 ($72 per fortnight) but if she were to die the payout would be $17,700.
I cannot find a legal way to get them to stop taking more of her money.
They will stop when she is 90 but sadly she is 70 and has Parkinson’s. Any ideas?
BAREFOOT REPLIES: You know what I dislike more than those mindless morning television shows? The ads that pay for them.
A big infomercial flogger is funeral insurance and they really press on your emotions to “not be a burden to your family”. The royal commission showed that the companies that sell this type of insurance are the worst.
Let me count the ways:
First, you often end up paying more in premiums than the value of the cover.
Second, the premiums often rise as you get older, when you can least afford them.
Third, if you stop paying, in most cases, you won’t get your money back.
Fourth, if your mother-in-law had invested $72 a fortnight into a low-cost index fund for the past 16 years she’d have $63,000 by now.
That could afford a helluva funeral (she could even have Daryl Braithwaite tow her coffin out on a horse while singing The Horses).
So what can she do?
Well, these products are often sold by slick salespeople with predatory practices.
If that happened to her, she may be entitled to a resolution.
You’re thinking “but my mother-in-law is a pensioner with Parkinson’s, she won’t stand a chance”.
And that’s why I want you to put me in contact with her this week and I’ll take this on personally. It’s time to whip these nags!
INDIGENOUS WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!
TANIA WRITES: I am a young professional Aboriginal woman from Cape York.
In the past I made some foolish investments but a few years ago I picked up your book. I loved it, although I struggled to get my hubby to read it.
So I played him your audio book in the car.
He was so excited, given how easy it is to follow.
Long story short — we are now on our way to financial freedom! We no longer have credit cards or a car loan, we have refinanced our mortgage and our renters are paying our mortgage off for us.
We also have a joint account and have started our little guy on the jam jars.
I would love you to do a “Barefoot Walkabout Tour” once COVID-19 is out of the way.
BAREFOOT REPLIES: This makes me so happy.
Well done! We have a shameful history of finance companies ripping off Indigenous communities (especially when it comes to funeral insurance).
One not-for-profit group that is making a huge difference in this area is MoneyMob Talkabout, which employs Aboriginal elders to teach financial education in remote communities.
Check them out at moneymob.org.au
You got this!
BeyondBlue and Financial Counselling Australia have launched a public awareness campaign to encourage people in financial stress to seek support. Learn more at beyondblue.org.au/financialwellbeing
Got a money question? barefootinvestor.com #askbarefoot
Scott Pape is an independent, community-based financial counsellor. Information and opinions provided in this column are general in nature and have been prepared for educational purposes only. Always seek personal financial advice tailored to your specific needs before making financial and investment decisions.
The Barefoot Investor for Families: The Only Kids’ Money Guide You’ll Ever Need (HarperCollins)RRP $29.99
Originally published as Barefoot Investor: When money is tight, you don’t have to go it alone