Barefoot Investor: Let happiness and kindness be the season’s best gifts

Christmas may be known as the time for “giving”, but to most school-aged kids it’s really a time for “getting”. Parents should beware of expectation creating entitlement, writes Scott Pape.

Let me tell you about how, a few years ago, I created a family Christmas tradition … which has caused me nothing but stress, and given my kids 25 days of disappointment.

It started one day in Aldi.

I had the choice between buying an advent calendar for $12, or 25 small “stockings on a string” for $5.

Guess which one the Barefoot Investor chose?

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Now, given stockings on a string aren’t as intuitive as opening a calendar each day, I concocted a complicated backstory that involved elves coming to the farm each night and leaving a gift in a little numbered stocking to help the kids count down to Christmas.

Father of the year, right?

Wrong.

There’s always at least one night I forget, meaning I have to explain to our lip-quivering kids the next morning why the elves didn’t come.

Slightly better, one morning I bolted upright in bed as I heard the kids stirring, raced down the hall and stuffed something in the stocking:

“Dad, the elves gave us … a AAA battery?”

“They’re smart, those elves. You never know when you’ll need a battery … like for the TV remote”, said the worst father in the world.

Ho! Ho! D’Oh!

For most school-aged kids, Christmas is a time for ‘getting’.

Christmas may be known as the time for “giving”, but to most school-aged kids it’s really a time for “getting”.

A survey by the Sunday Herald Sun earlier this month found an overwhelming majority of parents (76 per cent) say their kids have higher expectations of what Christmas presents they’ll receive compared to when they were kids.

Yet expectation is one reindeer down from entitlement.

So while “25 days of disappointment” is a family Christmas tradition I’ve created, it’s not the only one.

Throughout the year my kids follow the Barefoot “3, 3, 3” rule of pocket money.

(Three weekly jobs, dished into three jam jars marked “Splurge”, “Smile” and “Give”, checked off each Sunday night in three minutes.)

The most important money jar at this time of the year — when we’re being undermined by fat men in red suits, and bombarded with advertising — is the Give Jar.

This simple little pocket money system has helped us create a new family legend: our family helps people in our community who are doing it tough at Christmas.

That’s what we do … that’s who we are. We’re givers and it feels great.

That is a Christmas family tradition that will breed happiness and kindness.

Tread Your Own Path!

Scott Pape’s tip for those in bushfire-prone areas to use a fireproof box has proven invaluable to one reader. Picture: Mark Cranitch

Q&As

CALM AMONG THE FLAMES

KYLIE ASKS: I live in Central Queensland and we have just experienced ravaging bushfires.

I left work early to go home and help my husband with preparations. I packed all of the things that are important to me — my jewellery, some photo albums, and the fireproof box containing our documents. Despite the possibility that our home would go up in flames, I felt calm.

I thought about your experiences and I thought to myself “I got this”.

Thank you for giving me strength in such a difficult time!

(P.S. Luckily, we were spared.)

BAREFOOT REPLIES: Now this is what I’m all about.

Anyone who’s been through a bushfire will know that by the time the fire hits it’s too late to do anything.

And that’s what the Barefoot Steps are all about — preparing you beforehand so you’re ready when your own “fire” comes (real or financial).

Like you, Liz and I have our Fearless Folder (a collection of all our most important documents, enclosed in a $69 Bunnings portable fireproof safe I wrote about in Barefoot Investor for Families), ready to take at a moment’s notice.

Having everything sorted keeps you calm when everything around you is going crazy. You got this!

Supporting some of the most vulnerable people in society — abused women and their kids — is critically important work.

SPREADING THE LOVE

CARMEL ASKS: I am the team manager for domestic and family violence programs for Mercy Community. I am not asking for anything —‒I just wanted to let you know I am applying for a grant as part of Queensland Women’s Week to put together financial packs for women in refuges to help them with their financial literacy post-separation.

The grant is for $3000 and I am aiming to buy 100 of your Barefoot Investor for Families books for the packs, along with supporting information.

If you object to this, please get in touch.

BAREFOOT REPLIES: I object! You shouldn’t have to pay a cent for those books!

Supporting some of the most vulnerable people in society — abused women and their kids — is critically important work.

So I’ll send you 100 copies of my old book, The Barefoot Investor, and 100 copies of my new book, The Barefoot Investor for Families.

Thanks for what you do.

A reader tells Scott Pape that with his new Families book, their children are learning to be smart with their money too.

THE MOST MOVING MESSAGE I RECEIVED IN 2018

THROUGHOUT the year, I’ve received thousands of messages from Barefooters.

This is the one that moved me the most:

Dear Scott, Five years ago our middle child was diagnosed with brain cancer at five years old. We had to move to the city for his treatment, and my husband had to commute for work as much as our situation allowed.

This meant we had to find funds for rent as well as mortgage and bills, all while living off a very limited wage.

We didn’t even qualify for a credit card, though after reading your book I’m so glad we didn’t get one.

After our son passed away, we spent years trying to claw our way back from financial ruin, and it was near on impossible — until I was told about your book eight months ago.

I thought I would struggle to read it (that the financial terms would go over my head), but you had me laughing, crying and captivated to the end.

We honestly thought we were in for a lifetime of debt, but thanks to you we are already breathing easier.

We are in a far better position than we were, and the improvements we’re making are noticeable.

And with your new Families book, our children are learning to be smart with their money too.

We’ve started the jam jars with our little ones, and our teens have both got jobs and set up their bank accounts to include savings.

I am so proud of them and completely loving that I have been able to give them the headstart I never had.

I can honestly say that if not for your advice we would never have reached a position of financial freedom.

So from the bottom of my broken heart, thank you.

Jennie

BAREFOOT REPLIES:

Thannk you for writing, Jennie.

I’ve chosen your letter to end my column on for 2018 because you epitomise what Barefooters around the country are doggedly working towards: looking after their family, and
gaining financial control.

That you’ve soldiered on through your heartbreak is a testament to your strength.

You Got This.

And to you — the person reading this — thank you for helping me spread my message to people like Jennie.

This wraps up my columns for the year.

I’m taking the school holidays off to hang out with the family, and will be back ready and raring to go in 2019.

Tread Your Own Path!

If you’ve got a burning money question, visit barefootinvestor.com 
and #ASKBAREFOOT

BAREFOOT’S NEW BOOK: The Barefoot Investor for Families: The Only Kids’ Money Guide You’ll Ever Need (HarperCollins). RRP $29.99. Available now in all good bookstores and online

The Barefoot Investor holds an Australian Financial Services Licence (302081). This is general advice only. It should not replace individual, independent, personal financial advice.

Originally published as Barefoot Investor: Let happiness and kindness be the season’s best gifts