The Return of El Timbre

Your senior international correspondent is back in town following a deeply scientific examination of Argentina’s restaurants, bars and clubs. What did Blair learn in the land of Javier Milei?

Be alert, visitors. In Buenos Aires, a full-on street tango may break out at any time

Furthermore, why did he receive a coveted gold pass from one of the finest eateries in Buenos Aires? And how can he justify his claim for $20,000 worth of tango lessons as a legitimate work expense?

All those vital questions, or possibly some of them, may eventually be answered. But first, let’s gawp at some travel shots:

Buenos Aires is full of ornate and intricate Paris-style apartment buildings, all looking much like the example shown above. Except when they look like the examples shown below, which were probably just a few minutes down the road:

According to pictorial evidence at Argentina’s National History Museum, settlement was an amicable and orderly affair:

Even horses were invited to participate in colonial negotiations. Thus was diversity honoured in ways we shallow outsiders cannot even begin to appreciate.  

Speaking of horses, this poor fellow (and his terrified human cargo) doubtless witnessed a thing or two back in the day. It’ll take more than a few carrots and sugar cubes to cure his particular case of equine PTSD:

Horses are rare on Argentina’s streets these days, but may return as currency haulage creatures if new El Presidente Milei can’t reel in his nation’s wild inflation. After presenting a cash exchange with three $US50 bills, I received in return several tectonic plates with numbers on them:

On the plus side, everything in Argentina is absurdly cheap, at least in Western terms. Even hotel minibar beers were only $US1.50 each. On the negative side, Argentina’s entire financial system is so terrible than only about half the citizenry bothers holding bank accounts.

Everyone warns you against using ATMs, so I felt duty bound to take a shot. The peak withdrawal limit was 2000 pesos – or just $3.70 Australian.

And the service fee for that transaction was the equivalent of $13 – nearly ten bucks more than the withdrawal itself. Just as well there are so many fine establishments like this one, a 94-year-old venue where a traveller may rest awhile and collect his thoughts:

In my case, those thoughts were: how come I’ve owned a second-hand shirt for nearly a year before discovering it used to belong to lawyer and former ABC Media Watch host Stuart Littlemore?

The moment of discovery occurred in an otherwise peaceful Buenos Aires park. Locals will forever speak of it as the día que la tierra lloró.