RECORD FLANNERYFALL

Nobody likes being reminded of their inaccurate predictions. Unfortunately for climate warrior Tim Flannery, those are just about the only predictions he’s ever made.Back in 2007, the ABC’s Sally Sara began a Flannery interview with this ominous intro: “Professor Tim Flannery has warned climate change will impact on Australia to the point where Sydney can expect to receive 60 per cent less rainfall than it does at present.”

During that piece, Flannery offered his usual alarmism. “The soil is warmer because of global warming and the plants are under more stress and therefore using more moisture,” he said. “So even the rain that falls isn't actually going to fill our dams and our river systems.” Those poor stressed plants. Those poor empty dams. And that poor professor, who was wheeled out last month for probably his one millionth ABC chat, which for once at least touched on Flannery’s pathetic predictive powers. “Every time it rains I seem to cop it from someone about this sort of thing,” Flannery griped. Since then, of course, Sydney’s rain has barely stopped. In 2005, the ABC (of course) reported Flannery’s prediction that “the ongoing drought could leave Sydney’s dams dry in just two years.” This might be one of history’s more extreme miscalculations. As of Saturday, Flannery missed the mark by 2,360,104,000,000 litres. That’s how much water is currently in Sydney’s various dams. Even if the rain stopped tomorrow, on present daily consumption rates it means we have enough water to see us through until mid-December 2019. Not that Flannery would be able to enjoy much of it. The former Sydney resident lives in Melbourne these days with his new partner, the former heroin-addicted prostitute turned celebrity author Kate Holden. The couple’s infant son will be at school by the time Sydney runs dry. Incidentally, Melbourne’s dam levels are now at just 69.5 per cent. Give it time. The professor has only been there for a couple of years. The Flannery Effect is bound to kick in sooner or later.