Post-Isolation Etiquette Tips
After weeks of lockdown, many of us are now legally permitted to visit outdoorland – including, in limited ways, pubs and clubs. This is great news, but please be careful.
After weeks of lockdown, many of us are now legally permitted to visit outdoorland – including, in limited ways, pubs and clubs. This is great news, but please be careful.
Just as an astronaut will lose bone density in space, certain of your social abilities may have atrophied during isolation.
Before leaving your house, please read this handy reminder guide to successful community interactions with your fellow humans.
Wear Pants
After the first week or so of isolation, your attitude towards clothing may have become extremely relaxed. Be warned: lockdown attire is unlikely to be appreciated by the nine other people at your re-opened restaurant or bar.
Also, you’ll need pockets for your wallet, keys and everything else you haven’t used for months.
Do Not Jab People
If the person with whom you are chatting pauses for a moment, do not assume they have “frozen” or that your Google hangout connection is down.
Under no circumstances try to reboot them or begin jabbing at their non-existent keyboard. They are probably just collecting their thoughts prior to resuming conversation.
Mystery Objects
When visiting toilet facilities, you may notice rolls of thin, perforated paper sheets hanging from the wall. The long-forgotten purpose of these rolls will eventually return to you.
Hint: it’s what you’ve been using your cat for since March.
The Right Time and Place
Schedules lost their meaning during lockdown, but that doesn’t mean you can bring your recently acquired lockdown habits to the outside world.
When meeting your employer and co-workers for a morning strategy conference, remember that wine is not “breakfast juice”.
Busybodies Need Not Be So Busy
If you walk by a restaurant and notice a table of people enjoying each other’s company, do not call the police. Strange as it may seem, this sort of behaviour is now completely legal.
Those diners probably would very much appreciate it, however, if you barged in and began enforcing 1.5 metre separation zones. Go right ahead.
Be insured.