Blair Book Club

The greatest regret of my life is that I only learned about New Jersey’s Action Park 24 years after it closed.

The greatest regret of my life is that I only learned about New Jersey’s Action Park 24 years after it closed.

But that’s OK, because a new book by Andy Mulvihill – son of the venue’s founder – captures all the terror of an actual Action Park visit:

The book opens with a description of the teenage author testing out a slide called the Cannonball Loop, effectively a gigantic asbestos drinking straw with a 360-degree knot at the end of it:

“I peer into the opening. The smell of the industrial glue that adheres the foam to the tubing stings my nostrils. Later, the fumes from this same glue, combined with a lack of ventilation, will cause workers erecting other rides to pass out, angering my father with their reduced productivity.”

Bruised and dizzy, Mulvihill triumphantly survives his plunge down, right the way round and through the Cannonball Loop:

“The next person to slide down the Loop without padding or a helmet smashes his face into the wall of the tube when he hits that first terrible corner, losing his two front teeth. The guy after him isn’t much luckier. He cuts his arm on the teeth, which are still stuck in the slide.”

Strongly recommended.