Principal’s warning to helicopter parents ‘hits a chord’

A PRINCIPAL who issued a scathing warning to parents who “catastrophise” small issues, says he’s surprised his newsletter has gone viral with his message of perspective resonating with society.

The principal of a prestige school that parents spend $30,000 a year to send their children to has urged parents to “get some perspective” after he blasted “pushy, rude parents” in a scathing school newsletter.

St Andrew’s Cathedral School principal Dr John Collier told Miranda Devine Live this afternoon that there had been decline in civility and niceties in society and urged parents to “get some perspective” rather than resorting to aggression to get their way.

LISTEN TO DR JOHN COLLIER ON MIRANDA LIVE:

Dr John Collier said his warning has hit a chord with society. Picture: Justin Lloyd.

He hit out at aggressive helicopter parents who treat teachers like personal servants by sending the scathing newsletter home to parents warning those who threatened violence against teachers would be banned from school grounds.

Mr Collier — who has been principal of the school for 28 years — said the minority of his parents who “catastrophise” small issues such as poor grades or report cards and in doing so make matters much worse for their children.

“These matters are often a small discipline issue or a bad grade but these parents represent that issue as the end of the world to their child,” Dr Collier said.

“What I urge them to do is get some perspective and to keep these things in proportion because the schooling journey is 13 years and it’s not good to, as one would say, sweat the small stuff rather than take the long view.”

Dr John Collier’s newsletter to parents.

Dr Collier tells parents to “chill”

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Mr Collier labelled the parents “reptilian” due to their aggressive and unbridled wrath in attacking teachers and staff members who they deemed responsible for their children’s failure or struggles.

“These people resort to the reptilian brain of fight or flight where they leave the rational part of the brain and respond extremely emotionally and very polarised terms,” he said.

“What I’m trying to do is engage the thinking part of the brain rather than the reflex part of the brain and to actually cultivate a response that might be helpful and might resolve the issue.”

Mr Collier told Miranda Live that he was surprised his newsletter had gone viral as he was only taking issue with a “minority” of pushy parents at his school but had unintentionally made a point with society at large.

The principal appeared on The Daily Telegraph’s online radio show Miranda Live.

“I thought I was making a small point to a tiny minority of my own parents — 98 per cent of parents at St Andrews Cathedral school are a delight to deal with — but what I’ve seemed to have done is hit a chord with society and this level of aggression seems to be general not only across schools and all schooling sectors but broadly in the world in which we live,” he said.

“The niceties of communication have fallen backwards somewhat, and I fear its being modelled by some of our leaders, politicians, sportspeople, and as they are prominent, people follow their example.”

Parents pay more than $30,000 a year on school fees at the Sydney CBD school.

Dr Collier said his principle way of dealing with these kinds of parents over three decades was to call those parents in for a meeting with him which usually “cools the issue,” but he has once asked a parent to leave the school upon their refusal to “pull their head in”.

“Usually there is a point at which parents realise they’ve got to pull back and let their children fly themselves and that’s helpful and necessary,” he said.

“Sometimes it gets to the stage where the relationship actually starts to break down between the parents and child because the parents are so pushy and deny the child independence which is always sad to see.”