Retrogram: Herald Sun writer Warwick Green looks at celebrities photographed in AFL jumpers
PICTURE SPECIAL: IT’S incredible how many celebrities end up getting an AFL jumper thrust at them when they lob in town.
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IT’S INCREDIBLE how many celebrities end up getting an AFL jumper thrust at them when they lob in town.
We’ve previously taken a look at some of the big names who have ended up wearing Collingwood colours, whether it be Hollywood actor Rob Lowe linking arms with the team and joining in the club theme song, or the bizarre assortment of people that found themselves in possession of a Magpies jumper. Those names range from “Stormin’’ Norman Schwarzkopf to Mr Bean; from the Dala Llama to Ian Botham.
But it’s not all as simple as black and white.
This week Retrogram has delved into the pictorial files and found images of stars who have somehow ended up with a footy jumper from one of the other 18 clubs.
To give you an idea of how strong the field is, you can find photographs of Academy Award-winning actor Jimmy Stewart and Baywatch actor David Hasselhoff both pictured with Swans jumpers … 28 years apart.
Without further ado, the nominations are:
1. ABBA, CARLTON
Like Carlton, the Swedish pop stars were at their best in the late 1970s / early 1980s. But it still doesn’t explain why Agnetha and Anni-Frid both bobbed up wearing Blues guernseys at the height of ABBA-mania, during their 1977 tour of Australia. It turns out that Carlton’s then general manager, Keith “Caper” McKenzie, ordered the bloke from the club’s marketing department to grab a couple of jumpers and dash out to Tullamarine and present them to the pop stars upon their arrival. The Blues got plenty of mileage out of the stunt, with the jumpers appearing in ABBA: The Movie. Agnetha clearly took a shine to the Blues, because when the group recorded the film clip for the hit song Chiquitita in the Swiss Alps two years later, CFC was on display for the world to see ...
It also makes you think about ABBA’s songs and lyrics in a whole new light. Was Money, Money, Money about poaching interstate stars? Was S.O.S. a tribute to Steve Silvagni? Then there’s “Gimme, gimme, gimme a (premiership clock) after midnight”. If you have a ABBA lyric that lends itself to Carlton tweak, post it in the comments box below.
2. McENROE AND BORG, CARLTON
Then again, maybe Carlton is just big in Sweden. Arguably that nation’s other most famous citizen — with apologies to Dolph Lundgren, Elin Nordegren and the Ace of Base — was five-time Wimbledon champion Bjorn Borg. And sure enough, here is the Iceman with a Blues jumper on, alongside archrival John McEnroe. You can’t help feeling that the Superbrat should somehow be wearing a Collingwood jumper, though.
3. KISS, FREMANTLE
Chris Connolly may have played 84 games for Melbourne and kicked 38 goals at AFL level. He may have been the first man to coach Fremantle to the finals. But the greatest moment of his footy career — judging by this photo — was the moment he presented a Dockers jumper to KISS front man Paul Stanley during a 2004 concert at the WACA Ground.
4. ELLE McPHERSON, ST KILDA
Back in 1990 St Kilda made supermodel Elle ‘’The Body’’ McPherson its No. 1 woman ticket holder. So my question is: Why, whenever TV stations seek comment from a celebrity Saints supporter, do we have to watch footage of Molly Meldrum?
5. LILLEE AND MARSH, RICHMOND
I’m looking at Rod Marsh in this 1977 photo and thinking he might be whispering to Dennis Lillee: “How much did Bondy say he’d pay us to wear these silly lace-up jumpers?’’ A newspaper report from the time reveals that the pair actually had a bit of kick to kick at Punt Rd Oval on the rest day of the Centenary Test, with Marsh due to resume the next day on 95 not out. When one journalist suggested the key pair were risking injury, Marsh growled back: “You could get hit by a car crossing the street.’’
6. BARACK OBAMA, WEST COAST
And you thought names on the back of jumpers was an AFL initiative. Nah. The White House was onto that in 2011, and passed on its directive to a couple of grinning Aussies who just happened to be passing through.
7. RAY CHARLES, BRISBANE LIONS
“Brother Ray” agreed to pose with a Lions’ jumper back in 1998, but declined to pull it on. ``I’m with them 100 per cent. Take my word for it,’’ he laughed. Still. You’d have to think he would have been better off getting along to the MCG to listen to the Cats playing the Blues.
8. GOUGH WHITLAM, GEELONG
Even though Magpies ruckman Ray Gabelich had presented a Collingwood jumper to him in 1967, ALP leader Gough Whitlam was more than happy to slip on a Cats jumper and become Geelong’s ticket holder in 1973. Might have something to do with the bloke next to him. After all, he could certainly offer Whitlam some advice on how to be a successful Polly.
9. SAMUEL L. JACKSON, ST KILDA
In Pulp Piction, Jackson plays Jules Winnfield, who spends a lot of time talking about how he intends to reform his character, but never quite seems to. Perhaps he relates to St Kilda on that level. Saints fans wouldn’t mind, as long as their team manage to “strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger’’.
10. DANNII MINOGUE, CARLTON
Back in 1982, Mike Fitzpatrick was the Carlton star and Dannii was the kid off Young Talent Time who was chasing his signature. Now that she’s had three decades of fame as a TV and pop star, you kind of suspect that if she posed for a photo on the AFL chairman’s knee, it might get on Page 1 for an entirely different reason.
RETROGRAM RECALL
From “Diesel” on Twitter: “Would have liked to know who their fathers were. Many are obvious but some have stumped me.’’
(Which prompted “Brucie” to offer this classic rejoinder: “@Diesel I think the mothers should have a fair idea who the father was, unless she was a player also”).
RETROGRAM SAYS: But to help Diesel out, we’ve listed the 2014 players who made our team, together with their father’s name and club:
Sean Dempster (StK) — Graham (SM 1972-79)
Dustin Fletcher (Ess) — Ken (Ess 1967-80)
Liam Picken (WB) — Billy (Coll/Syd 1974-86)
Brett Deledio (Rich) — Wayne (Carl 1975)
Ben Reid (Coll) — Bruce (Foots/Carl 1977-85)
Heath Shaw (GWS) — Ray (Coll 1974-81)
Marc Murphy (Carl) — John Fitz, SM, NM 1967-80)
Tom Liberatore (WB) — Tony (Foots 1986-2002)
Josh Kennedy (Syd) — John Jr (Haw 1979-91)
Jarrad Waite (Carl) — Vin (Carl 1966-75)
Tom Hawkins (Geel) — Jack (Geel 1973-81)
Dan Hannebery (Syd) — Matthew (Foots 1986-90)
Jonathan Brown (BL) — Brian (Fitz/Ess 1976-82)
Travis Cloke (Coll) — David (Rich/Coll 1974-91)
Brandon Matera (GC) — Wally (WC/Fitz 1987-90)
Ty Vickery (Rich) — John (Coll 1971-72)
Jobe Watson (Ess) — Tim (Ess 1977-94)
Gary Ablett (GC) — Gary Sr (Haw/Geel 1982-96)
Kane Cornes (Port) — Graham (NM 1979)
Cam Guthrie (Geel) — Andrew Merryweather (Fitz 1982, Ess 1988)
Steve Morris (Rich) — Kevin (Rich/Coll 1971-81)
Ryan O’Keefe (Syd) — Brian (Foots 1980)
Jack Viney (Melb) — Todd (Melb 1987-99)
Heath Hocking (Ess) — Graham (SM 1971)
Luke Ball (Coll) — Ray (Rich/SM 1969-74)
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