Mum tells police after killing her son: ‘I loved him but I hated being a mum’

A woman who drowned her three-year-old son in the bath made a shock confession after the killing but has been found not guilty of murder.

The Supreme Court heard the woman – who cannot be identified – drowned her son in the bath. Picture: Nadir Kinani

A woman who drowned her three-year-old son in the bathtub of their family home told police she “loved him but hated being a mum”.

Found not guilty of the boy’s murder due to mental impairment on Wednesday, the Supreme Court heard the woman called triple-0 to her home in Melbourne’s west and declared, “I killed my son”.

Officers who rushed to the scene found the boy’s body in the tub on February 6, 2023, more than five hours after his death.

“I’m a bad mum,” said the woman, who can’t be identified due to a court order.

Speaking to a responding officer who’d arrested her at the scene, the woman said she’d been suffering from mental illness for a long time and was “just not enjoying being a mum”.

“I already tried to drown him like ages ago,” she said, according to a summary read to the court by Crown prosecutor Ray Gibson KC.

“I just, I’m a bad mum, I don’t know, just the constant loneliness and dealing with a child, I loved him but I hated being a mum.

“He would probably grow up horrible even though he has a great dad.

“I’m sorry I did this, and to my partner.”

Four psychiatrists found the woman – who had moved from overseas months earlier and had no family support – was suffering years-long major depressive disorder and anxiety, with feelings of hopelessness that had extended to her son, believing he would be “better off dead”.

That tragic Monday morning, she ran a bath for her son after her partner left for work, and as the boy played with his toys in the water she paced up and down the house.

“I was going to do it, then I decided not to,” she told police, stating she sent the boy outside with a snack to play.

But then she retopped the bath with water, calling the boy back in and telling him, “You need to have a wash because I fed you”.

“I actually wanted to … drown him in the bath,” she conceded to authorities.

Leaving his body in the bathroom, she went to the kitchen where she wrote a note to her partner, who was the boy’s father.

“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done, I love you so much,” the note read.

More than five hours later, she called triple-0 as the court heard she became concerned about her partner coming home to the horror scene.

She later admitted to trying to kill the boy by drowning two years earlier, when he was just an infant, thinking, “I won’t have to deal with any of this, I won’t have to raise a child”.

Justice Michael Croucher described it as a “terribly sad and troubling case”.

In finding the woman not guilty of murder by mental impairment, His Honour noted she’d become convinced her son would suffer in life, while other evidence pointed to them having a strong attachment and loving relationship.

Defence barrister Peter Matthews SC said his client had been “stabilised” and didn’t take issue with the fact she was “liable for supervision”.

Whether that supervision occurred in custody or the community, where she would return living with her partner, would be determined after a hearing in December.

Justice Croucher ordered that the woman remain in custody until that time.

Originally published as Mum tells police after killing her son: ‘I loved him but I hated being a mum’