Stop ducking around, use this phone hack to swear
When you’re firing off a text message and only the F-word will do, autocorrect can really kill your buzz. Thankful, you can now fix that for good.
This could be the most valuable piece of information you learn all year, and I’m honoured to be the one to share it with you.
I can guarantee this has happened to each and every one of you:
You’re having a firey chat via text with a sibling, your partner or your best friend, one where constructing the perfect reply is imperative.
Be it a brutal smack down or a grand declaration of love, you know that this four letter word is the only thing strong enough to convey how you’re feeling at this moment.
It is, of course, the F-word.
A universally beloved word, easily the most versatile in the English language, designed to emphasise your message, and express feelings of major frustration, sadness, endearment or even surprise.
Now, time is running out during this heated text message exchange, and you need to pull out the F-word to maintain the upper hand.
So you bash out your note and hit send.
SIBLING “How hard is it to not take my DUCKING clothes without asking first you piece of shirt?!”
PARTNER “What the DUCK gave you the idea that buying me the new Assassin’s Creed to play on YOUR Xbox would be a good birthday gift?! That is so DUCKED!”
BEST FRIEND “You are the best DUCKING friend I’ve ever had, and you’re so right, I’m gonna dump his arse tomorrow”.
Oh dear, autocorrect just ducked you up. Again.
At no point, in any of the above scenarios, did you intend to refer so emphatically to an aquatic bird.
Ever.
Autocorrect is, for better or worse, an integral feature of every smartphone.
It was first invented for the iPhone in 2005 by Apple’s software developer Ken Kocienda.
But now, thankfully, the smartphone gods have bestowed upon us a simple workaround for Ken’s problem, and it’s ducking great.
Parks and Rec actor Ben Schwartz posted the hack on Twitter after discovering it this week.
According to Schwartz, simply saving your swear words as contacts will force your phone to recognise them as real words when you’re texting.
By doing this, you’re free to cuss to your filthy heart’s content.
To prove his point, he shared a screenshot of one of his stored contacts — my friend and yours, old mate F***ing.
“When you have had it with spell check turning your curse word into ducking,” Schwartz tweeted. “Behold my new contact that my phone now recognises when I text.”
The reaction to the post was absolutely mental, with more than 12,000 ecstatic cussers liking and sharing the message around.
Potty mouths everywhere are celebrating their new found freedom in the only way they knew how — by swearing.
But I won’t show it all here.
I just want it noted that my Autocorrect will acknowledge “vajayjay†but still thinks that “ducking†is a word I use often. pic.twitter.com/SrU61Z4qX1
— FloofMcGoof (@HeathFloof) January 24, 2019
You just might be the smartest man to ever tweet....
— Ninja For Hire (@AngryNiteNinja) January 23, 2019
— 🌻 Effie K 🌻 (@effieinbama) January 24, 2019
I see a Nobel prize in your future
— Troy (@KindaLikePoison) January 23, 2019
Even celebrities have congratulated Schwartz on his discovery, with actor and talk show host Busy Philipps claiming the idea was “brilliant” and vowing to implement it immediately on her own phone.
Westworld actor James Marsden also loved the idea, joking that he knew Schwartz “would be the one to figure it out”.
This person has since used the hack to introduce their own terminology into their phone’s database.
@ShainScherer @Koryfrost I was fed up too pic.twitter.com/1TKYYLs3lp
— Michael Thomas (@TheRealBigMikeT) January 23, 2019
An additional trick I have picked up since this discovery is to ensure you save your new F-word contact with a lower case ‘f’, so you can use the word correctly within a sentence.
Now go forth, be vulgar and enjoy yourselves.
Originally published as Stop ducking around, use this phone hack to swear
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