Are you the most annoying person you know on Facebook?

IN many instances, smartphones make stupid people. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Use our handy guide to find out if you're the most annoying person you know on Facebook.

Instagram food

I'm a sucker for any and all social networking platforms.

Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Vine. Tumblr. Hell, I still have an active Myspace account. I don't remember the password, about I assure you it exists. It's nearly 2014 and I very genuinely have a Top 8! And because of this, I hereby declare myself the world's foremost authority on all social networking dos and don'ts — namely, the don'ts. There are so many things that people, maybe even you, do on these mediums that annoy not only me, but most likely all of your friends as well.

Sadly, in many instances, smartphones make stupid people.

But, like I always say, the first step in solving a problem is identifying its mere existence. So, without further ado, here's a list of things you'll want to avoid if you strive to be the least annoying social media user you can be.

Bitstrips

Li Ka-shing

I figure I may as well start with the most recent faux pas. Recently, a ridiculously irritating trend has popped up on Facebook — the overuse of Bitstrips. If you're not familiar with these new animated annoyances, they're little cartoons that you can fashion to look like yourself, and then you can add your own "hilarious" caption.
If you think anyone is actually busting a gut over these things, you're sorely mistaken. A picture of a cartoon guy drinking coffee, with the caption that reads "Bob hates Mondays!" is not funny. These things have all the comedic value of a blood test.

So stop it. You're not Seth MacFarlane.

Instagram video

90% of people who use Instagram video absolutely positively stink at it. For instance, so many people try to capture live audio from concerts. Pro tip: It's never good. Ever. Newsflash, drunk girl, no one wants to watch a crappy, 15-second clip of you and your friends at a Ke$ha concert. Put down the iPhone.

Game invitation

130619 Candy Crush Saga

The fastest way to get me to unfriend you on Facebook is to invite me to play Candy Crush Saga or any other comparable game. Do I look like a small child in the waiting room at a dentist office? No. No I don't. So don't suggest I play a game.

If I feel like playing something, I'll just do it, on my own, sans virtual prodding. Honest to God, some kid I went to high school with just invited me to play something called Papa Pear Saga. I'd sooner play Russian Roulette.

Machine Gun Posts

Facebook

Yes, you might be having a blast at whatever party you're at, but trust me; you don't have to post 14 pictures from it in a row. In fact, I'll even go as far as to say there's no reason to ever post more than two pictures back to back. You could turn a corner and unexpectedly see Barack Obama and Nicolas Cage playing a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, and guess what?

Even in that extreme scenario, one or two pictures would suffice.

It's complicated

Complicated

I hate when people list their Facebook relationship status as "In a relationship but it's complicated." If your relationship is in the crapper, why broadcast the news? Allow me to tell you. See, I've recently figured it out. People who make the change to "it's complicated" actually want their relationship to end. Actually, they can't wait for it to! They're chomping at the bit, so much so that they want every single one of their Facebook friends to know. They use it as a bat signal of sorts; a sign to alert any potential suitors or suitorettes that some fresh meat is about to come their way.

LOL

LOL

Then there's old reliable — the time-honored "LOL," the internet's equivalent of an applause sign. I hate it with every fibre of my being. And I don't say that as some pretentious wordsmith who's on a personal quest to protect the integrity of the English language. No, my hatred stems from the fact that this loathsome acronym is never used in an instance that would evoke any actual laughter! "Wore two different coloured socks again? LOL!" You did not laugh out loud after typing that! You just didn't!

And another gripe I have with LOL is the latter part of the abbreviation — the OL. Laugh out loud? You really have to specify the "out loud" part? What, as opposed to all those good, hearty, internal laughs? And don't even get me started on LOLZ or ROFL. Not one person in the entire history of human existence, save for the possibility of an epileptic at a Carrot Top show, has ever rolled onto the floor laughing after typing ROFL.

Your breakfast isn't interesting

Instagram food

This last one probably goes without saying at this point, but regardless, I think it bears repeating. Smartphones and the myriad different photo apps out there totally make it easy to take some damn cool pictures. However, people, please try to be a little more choosy with the pictures you post. Trust me, having an iPhone does not make you a professional photographer. You're eating a bowl of spaghetti? Fantastic. Enjoy that pasta. But let me assure you, no one, not one single person who follows you, wants to look at a picture of it.

So there you have it. If you avoid these simple faux pas, you'll be sure not to aggravate any of your friends or followers. You won't be the subject of any scorn or ridicule. Your friends and family won't hide you in their news feeds. You'll be the perfect example of how to — Crap. I just spilled some coffee on myself. If you'll excuse me, I need to go tweet about this. LoLz!

This story was originally published on AskMen.