‘Disrespecting’ the haka — what Matt Dawson could learn from David Campese and Brian O’Driscoll

MATT Dawson has upset the Kiwis with his schoolboy jibe at the haka. Better men than him have tried to neuter its power down the years, with mixed success ...

A brief history of ‘disrespecting’ the haka

THERE is a genuine debate to be had around the All Blacks performing the haka ahead of their matches.

A wonderful adornment to the sport full of theatre, history and authentic cultural resonance? Or an unfair advantage handed to a single team in which they are allowed to work themselves up in to a pre-match frenzy while opponents must silently endure, passive and uncomfortable, on the back foot before a ball has been kicked?

It is a worthy debate. Though not one we are having here today. And certainly not one that should ever contemplate giving space to the voice of Matt Dawson.

The former England player, egged on by a misguided marketing ploy from a low rent clothing company, in case you were fortunate enough to miss it, has urged England fans to do the ‘hakarena’. Offending a nation, as well as the concept of comedy, in the name of ‘banter’. And they wonder why everyone hates the England rugby team, eh?

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Others, most of greater charm and intellect than Dawson, have also struggled with how best to deal with the haka. Some innovative, some confrontational, some downright offensive: here is a brief history of how the fashions of such a response have evolved.

The All Blacks do it to themselves

The very first set of players to demonstrably disrespect the haka, it may surprise you to learn, were dressed in all black. Watching the pre-match war dance on grainy YouTube clips from the 70s, you could be forgiven for thinking you’re witnessing an entirely different ritual altogether. And, in truth, you are. A much less threatening version was pre-eminent back in the day (no throat slitting controversy there). And not everyone had opportunity to learn their moves, clearly.

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David Campese looks the other way

Flash forward to the 1990s and, with the psychological advantage of the Kiwis firing themselves up with a couple of minutes screaming and shouting now well known, players on opposition teams were busy thinking of ways to counter it. At the 1991 World Cup David Campese chose to ignore the whole business in its entirety, wandering off from the line-up to kick a ball around on his own under the posts until the All Blacks had finished. That didn’t go down well.

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Ireland, South Africa and England get up in their faces

Taking an alternative approach was actually more common, however, the tactic of standing up to the routine and aggressively facing it down pioneered by the Irish back in 1989 at Lansdowne Road (to little good effect as it goes).

During the 1995 World Cup the Springboks followed suit, getting up close and personal in an act of either culturally disrespectful grandstanding or a valid accepting of the challenge laid before them, depending on your point of view.

However, the method reached its nadir much later, in 1997 in fact, when the English advanced forward in an attempt to show they weren’t scared. One man, Richard Cockrill took things further than most, literally going nose-to-nose with Norm Hewitt mid-haka, forcing the referee to intervene and separate the pair.

“What the f**k have you done?” Martin Johnson reportedly asked of Cockrill. Angered them enough to presage a 25-8 victory for the tourists, apparently.

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Brian O’Driscoll’s response is up in the air

Were New Zealand sensitivities over the haka so offended by Brian O’Driscoll, captaining the Lions on a 2005 tour of New Zealand, that they sought immediate retribution in the form of a tour-ending spear tackle on the Irishman?

Probably not, but it says much that the theory carried a degree of currency in the immediate aftermath of his well-meaning but poorly received actions. Whatever the cause and effect, minutes after he strode forward and threw grass in the direction of the All Blacks in full haka mode, the Irishman was unceremoniously dumped on the turf in a most painful fashion.

O’Driscoll was, in fact, trying to pay his respects to history and ritual, believing that picking up the grass and throwing it to the wind signified an accepted acceptance of the war dance’s challenge. Not all Kiwis saw it that way, however, and another unseemly incident revolving around the haka was added to the list.

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France form a human flag

Perhaps one of the classiest responses on the field, though still drawing ire from some quarters, came from the French in 2007 ahead of a World Cup quarter-final in Cardiff. As the Kiwis performed their haka that day, the French donned red, white and blue T-shirts to form a human ‘Tricolour’, solid and unmoving in an act of defiance. Who knows what that did for the physiological battle, but the French duly went on to dump New Zealand out of the tournament shortly afterwards.

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More French resistance

In a mark of just how delicately teams are required to themselves dance around the haka, France were fined for their most recent high profile attempt to tackle the thorny issue at the last World Cup.

Facing a final on an imperious opponent’s home soil, the odds were already stacked against the French, even before the adrenaline jolt the All Blacks were about to receive from performing the haka in front of a packed full house of their own fans. The response? An act of passive resistance in which the French linked arms and walked quietly towards the New Zealand side. Nothing too unseemly about that you might think? But the cup organisers disagreed and a sanction was meted out.

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Matt Dawson crashes the banter bus

And so to the latest incarnation of haka-bating. This time not on a field of play but in the form of a marketing tie-in for a clothes company that specialises in offering bland apparel for obese men. Which is always a good start, eh?

Wrong on so many levels, the incident perhaps rather than revealing some truth about the meaning and sanctity of the haka, actually delivered a masterclass in why the world hates the England rugby team, Dawson embodying a living breathing caricature of a pompous, arrogant blowhard, as certain of his own ‘great sense of humour’ as everyone else is of its absence.

The former England player and now professional banter merchant, leads a tired, embarrassing attempt at humour in turning the war dance in to a Europop choreographed jive-off. About as funny as genital warts and original as a mother-in-law gag.

Originally published as ‘Disrespecting’ the haka — what Matt Dawson could learn from David Campese and Brian O’Driscoll