Wendell Sailor talks about the moment he had a gun held to his head

WENDELL Sailor takes Peter Badel through the most harrowing moments of his colourful and controversial career.

Wendell

WENDELL Sailor takes Peter Badel through the most harrowing moments of his colourful and controversial career.

In your new book, you recall the day you had a gun pulled on you.

That’s right. In 2000, it was the Broncos’ end-of-year trip and we were on the drink in Bali. Everywhere we went it was shirts off and all the boys were there: me, Lote Tuqiri, Darren Lockyer, Kevvie Walters and Gordie Tallis. So one night we go to this bar and the Brisbane Lions players are there. There was a bus to take us back to the hotel and all of a sudden a bloke pulls up in a Mercedes. I said loudly, "Hey man, come on, how much to take us back?" This bloke thinks I’m showing off, so he pulls a gun out and puts it to my head. I tell you ... I was on the piss for three days but I sobered up in seconds. Locky froze. Benny Ikin said, "Whoa mate, c’mon, he’s only joking." The bloke then put the gun down and walked away laughing.

Did you think he would pull the trigger?

I thought he would shoot me dead, 100 per cent. Even now, I’ve spoken about it with Gordie and Benny Ikin. Sometimes in foreign countries one split-second thing can get you in trouble. That trip was where the binge-drinking started for me. We were there eight days and I drank hard every day. Then the next year I got the big rugby deal and I felt I was invincible.

Was the book a cleansing experience? You seemed intent on getting some confronting issues off your chest.

When I retired I had a few opportunities to write the book and I wasn’t comfortable. I spoke to Wayne Bennett about it and he said if you feel comfortable, then do it. You can tell your story. I didn’t know how much I would talk about, but I felt now was the right time. I had that rollercoaster ride, people knew about the drug suspension and people rode that wave with me, good or bad. I didn’t know the book would be so raw, but when I started it ... I don’t know if it’s a release but it felt good to have my say.

At age 12 you discover you are adopted. How hard was that?

It hurt, but it’s not an excuse for my behaviour or why I got in trouble. I guess everybody wants to know where they come from. Now, when I hear someone is up for adoption or have been through abandonment, my ears prick up. Wayne Bennett knew my story from early on in my Broncos career so he gave me more TLC than most. But I had to earn his respect as well because he didn’t want to sign me at first. The key is we don’t bullshit each other.

How did you find out exactly?

Mum (his adopted mother Alison) just told me one day. We were sitting around at home and something about adoption came up on TV and she said, "Wendell, we need to let you know, we are not your real parents. Mum (Penny) wanted to give you away and we wanted to adopt you."

Your initial feeling?

(Pauses) I thought why ... why? You’re empty. Confused. I tried to take it on board and people in and around the family have always known. People see me being the strong personality and this confident person, but there was an underlying self-esteem issue there. Sometimes I just act with bravado. I wish I knew why and where I came from. I don’t know my dad. I can’t say it’s totally to blame for my binge-drinking and drugs. But it was very raw. I didn’t want to talk about adoption in my book to be honest. I had nothing to hide. I don’t give a shit what people think of me. I’ve been through that. I’ve read the comments about how I let rugby down and let my kids down (following his two-year ban for cocaine use in 2006). I have never forgotten it, but I’ve forgiven myself for it.

You have Penny’s phone number. Will you ever contact her to ask why?

I’ve met Penny a couple of times as a kid. But meet her now? Nah. I think about it all the time. I’m going to Mackay in a few weeks to do some work up there and she is up around that area. It could take one meeting with Penny to find out why, but my mum and dad did a wonderful job with me. I hear stories of adopted kids ending up in terrible homes. I was blessed. They did everything possible for me.

What hurts more: finding out you were adopted or the racist slurs?

With my adoption, it’s the unknown, but the racism is harder I think, it just hasn’t got any better for me since I was a kid. When you have Mal Meninga and Greg Inglis speaking out on racism, what does that tell you. In junior footy, it happened to me because you think there are weak people there. But then I played for Australia at Wembley and it happened again. I was at a bar a few weeks ago and blokes try to bait me, they say, "Hey druggo, where’s the party tonight?" But when I get called a black c*** or the N-word ... that doesn’t sit well. I’ve told my kids, if you cop racism at school, you talk to me.

On the two-year ban, how much did it cost you financially?

I lost around $1.4 million. I was on $600,000 a year at the Waratahs and the ARU and I was a current Wallaby leading into the 2007 World Cup. I was still in the mix for that. I won’t hear anyone say I didn’t pay a price. I did my time football wise. But I also paid the price financially and for the people it affected in my life.

Are party drugs used commonly by Sydney sporting stars?

I don’t know what other guys do, whether they do illicit drugs, but I know the temptations are there. Look, drugs are in society. Moving to Sydney changed things for me ... I had mates outside of football and 24-7 you could have gone out. I didn’t go to Sydney planning to party, but I found myself wanting to go to bars. You can’t do A-list stuff. We aren’t rockstars. We are athletes and I wasn’t being responsible.

How do you look back on your time in rugby?

People think I hate rugby, but the game was good to me for a long time. I let the game down and I will cop that. I had more than enough warning to pull my head in. At the end of it, I was in destruction mode. I thought I was bigger than the game. I was going out in the middle of the week before Test matches with the boys thinking it’s OK to have some drinks three days before a Test in South Africa. There would be a pact not to go out and I’d have three or four beers. It wasn’t right.

You felt hung out to dry by the ARU over the ban. Is that fair?

When I say hung out, I mean in a way where they didn’t put things in and around me. I look at Ben Cousins and "Joey" Johns, I didn’t get anywhere near the support they got. I made some dumb choices, no doubt. Did I deserve to be suspended? Absolutely. But after I tested positive, I didn’t get one phone call from the ARU to check on my welfare and my family’s welfare. It was us versus you. I don’t think I deserved two years. There are people who go out to cheat in sport and I was not a drug cheat. I’m now very interested to see what happens with the peptides stuff in the NRL.

What’s your view of the Cronulla doping allegations. There is talk of six-month bans. Is that too lenient?

I think it would be but I have to move on. I will be watching closely. If you go out and try to enhance your performance, you should be penalised. It’s a shame the game has been dragged through this ASADA stuff for months on end.

Should Cronulla players found guilty of cheating get life bans?

Well, I reserve my judgment until I see what the outcome is. I don’t want to go off yet but all I want to see is them (ASADA) be consistent.

You regard Wayne Bennett as a father figure. Did you strike a bond instantly?

No not really. It took time with me and Wayne. I had more of a bond with Kelvin Giles the (Broncos) trainer, he loved me because I was an athlete, confident and brash. It certainly wasn’t what Wayne liked.

Do you believe Bennett will one day return to the Broncos?

I do. I want him to come back to the Broncos, that’s what I want Wayne to do. When he said he was going to Newcastle it didn’t surprise me. No one ever knows what Wayne thinks, he loves keeping you guessing, but I hope he comes back to finish up at the Broncos. He deserves to finish at the club he helped make a powerhouse.

What’s your current view of the Broncos?

They are struggling for one or two world-class players. They have always been able to attract superstars along with having the pick of junior talent. We are used to seeing them in the top four or top eight. Now the Cowboys recruit well. The Titans are on their doorstep. Not every kid wants to play for the Broncos. Kids like Josh Papalii are happy to go to Canberra.

Are the Broncos missing Bennett’s aura?

One hundred per cent. As a player, you want to be coached by the best and Wayne Bennett is a magnet for blokes. If you are a player at the crossroads, you will follow the coach who gets results and will improve you. Wayne loves turning average players into something more. There is every chance he will come back to the Broncos, maybe not as a coach, but as a coaching director. The current Broncos miss that competitive fire. Some of these guys have had it too easy. When I arrived at the Broncos, I had to compete with Willie Carne, Mick Hancock, Brett Plowman and Pat Savage ... that’s five blokes for two spots. I think guys like Jack Reed and Matt Gillett now have to step up and be world-class players, not perform every two or three weeks.

Who is the one NRL player the Broncos should sign?

If I was Paul White (Broncos CEO), I’d be signing Daly Cherry-Evans for four years. He’s a future captain of the Broncos and he has no weaknesses. I know he and Ben Barba are good mates and they would be sensational at the Broncos. Daly is unbelievable. He is just such an impressive young man. He is the person any NRL club should want. He would be top of my list. The Broncos can build their club around him.

Your 15-year-old son Tristan has been signed by the Dragons. Are you surprised?

No, I knew from a young age he would play sport. As a kid, he was in the dressing room with Lote Tuqiri and Darren Lockyer kicking the ball around. He is a very good young athlete but more importantly he is a good kid who makes the right choices. He gets A's and B's at school, he has been school captain. He is meticulous and that is a credit to his mum.

Is he a better talent than you?

Oh yeah for sure, I don’t have his skills. I play mixed touch with Tristan, Tara (wife), Nathan Fien and his missus. We won the grand final and Tristan was our best, he plays in the middle. The kids these days are so skilful.

Will he make the NRL?

If he keeps working hard he will, he has more talent than I ever had. He works hard and he knows nothing is given for free. He knows what it takes to get to the top. I just hope he surrounds himself with good people.

What’s your absolute highlight?

Geez ... as a kid all I wanted to do was play Origin for Queensland. But just as special is being part of those great Broncos premiership teams. I took our success for granted. I can’t split playing for Queensland, Australia and those premierships.

Are you happy?

Of course. I am happy every day. I am happy with my family, my friends and the people that have stuck by me. In tough times, people walk out that door and other people walk in. You have to have some goodness in you to get through the dark times ... and I feel I have some goodness.