One man who can save NSW after Fittler move prompts ‘flood of calls’

Blues fans are beginning to hate NSW almost as much as they hate Queensland and it’s time to throw the cheque book at a saviour.

Brad Fittler is on borrowed time. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)

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The state of New South Wales has had a gut-full of hanging another state’s flag from our bridge and copping L’s from the Queensland Police Twitter account.

That’s why it’s time we threw a blank cheque at the only man who can save us from this annual tsunami of pain and smug retweets.

And that man is Andrew Johns.

With all due respect to Brad Fittler, from the moment he preferred Damien Cook over Cam Murray in the centres last night, we knew it was time he retreated to his Kombi for a much-needed lie down.

And while his injury-hit side produced occasional moments of gallantry – one repeat set and a sloppy punch from Josh Addo-Carr – it wasn’t enough to stunt a flood of calls to Channel 9 demanding he be immediately recalled from his secondment.

With the 32-6 defeat surely the unofficial curtain on the Fittler era, NSW’s attention now turns to finding a new man who can stand up to the enemy, which for the last few years has mostly been ourselves.

If the Blues beanie fits … (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images) (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

Andrew Johns is currently an assistant coach to Fittler. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)

To be fair, we have no idea what we want in this new Origin coach – mainly because we don’t understand Origin – all we know is we want something different.

And if there’s one thing Joey is, it’s different.

Without overstating, Johns is the only man who can arrest this state’s grim march towards becoming a polluted AFL-dominated dystopia.

Not only is he the eighth immortal, he’s also served the required apprenticeship for Origin coaching — 10 years in Nine commentary.

But most importantly, Johns contains a deep care for his state, one almost as spirited as his sneakily dangerous anger management problem.

Reared in Cessnock, radicalised in Newcastle and reinforced in Sydney, Johns is a True Blue who seethes with hatred for Queenslanders, especially the typical types like Cameron Smith and Matty Johns.

Perhaps instilling some of his contempt in to this state might teach us urbane sophisticates to unite against the enemy rather than always reverting to type under pressure by sh*tting the bed and dobbing on each other.

Furthermore, Johns is one of the game’s most canny attacking minds. Surely he could do something about our attack and it’s chronic problem of having stuff-all idea in the opposition 20.

It’s time for the Andrew Johns era.

Could he save us from our own dross?

No doubt, the former halfback will play coy to our desperately pathetic overtures. He’ll claim he’s comfortable working in the media, and to be fair, that’s fine by us.

We’ll do whatever we can to accommodate this for Johns, probably by voiding his media deals, or just voiding the media altogether.

And if you think this is an over-reaction, please take a look at one of his painful post-defeat eulogies. The pathos alone is enough to shut down every transmitter in the state.

There’s really no reason for Johns to refuse. That’s because as Queensland have taught us by decimating our souls, coaching Origin is a simple job.

It’s a minuscule six weeks of work a year, and all you have to do is arrange three nights of babysitting and not treat selection night like a MasterChef mystery box. You even get a tracksuit.

In summary, Blues fans are beginning to hate NSW almost as much as we hate QLD. Andrew Johns can reverse this, or at least keep the seat warm until we channel Tommy from the afterlife.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.

Originally published as One man who can save NSW after Fittler move prompts ‘flood of calls’