State of Origin 2016: Reg Reagan’s 9 moments that mattered in the lead up to Origin I
HE’S the man with the insight everyone is waiting for and the great Reg Reagan delivers the moments that mattered most in the lead up to Origin I.
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HE’S the man with the insight everyone is waiting for before an Origin kick-off and the great Reg Reagan has sat down to pen the moments that mattered most in the lead up to Wednesday’s big game.
Reagan has spent valuable time with the Blues side the past couple of weeks and knows about the calls between coach Daley and players, the selection process, bonding nights, public indecency and a few home truths between the team.
1. THE SELECTION PROCESS
Thanks to my connections in a few local, notorious bikie gangs, I’ve obtained exclusive CCTV vision and audio of the selection meeting between coach Laurie Daley and Bob Fulton.
Bob Fulton: “OK Laurie, that’s the starting line up … Now the bench. Who do you like for the backs utility?”
Laurie Daley: “I like Cronulla’s Jack Bird Bob.” (SILENCE)
Laurie Daley: “Bob, what are you doing? Bob, please, put that gun away…..” (SILENCE)
Laurie Daley: “You know, I think I like Dylan Walker ...”
Bob Fulton: “Great choice!”
2. THE PHONE CALLS
Laurie calls Beau Scott.
Beau Scott: “Who the f**k is this?”
Laurie Daley: “It’s Loz Beau …”
Beau Scott: “And???”
Laurie Daley: “And I’m just giving you the courtesy of letting you know we’re leaving you out of the side for Game 1.”
Beau Scott: “And I’m just giving you the courtesy of letting you know that next time I see you, I’m going to f**cking kill you.”
Laurie Daley: “Thanks for taking it so well Beau.”
(HANG UP)
Laurie calls Dylan Walker.
Dylan Walker: “I wake up with Today!”
Laurie Daley: “Dylan?”
Dylan Walker: “Karl?”
Laurie Daley: “No, it’s Laurie.”
Dylan Walker: “Laurie who?”
Laurie Daley: “Laurie Daley, the NSW coach. I’m just ringing to inform you that you made the team for next Wednesday night, congratulations.”
Dylan Walker: “ Ha..Ha..Ha..H..Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha.., is this you Api?”
3. THE BONDING NIGHT
The team meet at the sacred site of NSW Rugby League, The Star Casino, where Laurie and I outline the week ahead. After that Laurie and I decide it’s a great idea to get the boys together for a bonding night! More to the point it’s an opportunity for all the players to get drunk and try to find at least one redeeming feature in Robbie Farah.
For the bonding night we go out on the harbour on Michael Jennings’ boat. It’s a 150ft super yacht which mysteriously turned up at his house the day after he signed for Parra!
After a few hours on Jenko’s super yacht we decide to head to a local Chinese restaurant where we’re to catch up with now ex-Eels forward Junior Paulo and a few of his “close mates”. Unfortunately Junior’s “close mates” don’t turn up after being warned by police that it’s a bad look to associate with footballers.
4. 20 DOWN TO 17
We all gather to discuss how we’ll cull the squad from 20 blokes to 17. Bryce Cartwright volunteers to opt out after watching a replay of Game III last year. That leaves 19.
Then I tell the Dogs’ Josh Morris he’s missed out, explaining he’s too old, has a weird shaped head, which looks bad in team photos and also, Laurie and I thought we’d selected Brett in the first place anyway! That’s 18!
Now, a tough decision, does Andrew Fifita or Tyson Frizell make the 17?
Laurie shows great leadership and courage by declaring it will be decided by a game of paper/scissors/rock. One go, winner makes the team.
Tyson Frizell wins!
However Laurie and I manage to convince Tyson that Andrew’s rock would burst through his paper. Truth is, we wanted Fifita all along, but didn’t have the guts to tell Frizell.
5. ARRIVE IN COFFS HARBOUR
We arrive at the North Coast town, which has become like a second home for the Blues, Coffs Harbour. Five hundred excited locals are there to greet us off the bus, where they hurl rocks, scream abuse and clear their throats on our faces.
Turns out, we’ve lost nine of the past 10 series since we’ve made Coffs Harbour home, and locals are angry their town has been relabelled, Coffs Harbour — home of the pathological loser.
Over the past 10 years tourism has dropped 80 per cent, unemployment is up by 60 per cent, the divorce rate is 75 per cent, and four out of five local kids associate the colour blue with failure, embarrassment and public floggings.
6. JAMES TAMOU ARRESTED
On learning that 5000 Coffs Harbour locals have signed a petition, desperately asking us to leave town, I decide a little PR is in order. I put on a ‘meet and greet’ with the team, for both the townspeople and local media, at Coffs Harbour’s most famous landmark.
‘Come and see us at the BIG BANANA!’ is a huge success, with thousands turning up to get photos and autographs with the boys.
The only downer was James Tamou confusing what we meant by getting a photo with the state’s “biggest banana”, and being arrested for public indecency. The NSWRL if offering free counselling to anyone affected by the “sighting”.
7. HONESTY SESSION
The players and coaching staff get together for the traditional Game I honesty session. The honesty session is where players can feel free and safe to say whatever they want, without fear of judgment.
Laurie starts by asking the room, “What are our expectations of the series?”
It’s great to know that everyone, from players to coaching staff, are on the same page and expect to be beaten 3-0.
We then sit down to watch last year’s Game III record breaking defeat. We universally agree to blame Mick Ennis.
Other things uncovered by the honesty session:
1. Laurie can’t coach.
2. Nobody likes Farah.
3. Gal is gonna bash Sterlo.
4. Laurie can’t coach.
8. A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES
We go along to watch the premiere of the new Russell Crowe film, ‘The Nice Guys’. To be honest I’m a little disappointed, I was led to believe it was a documentary about the Rabbitohs pre-season camp to Nana Glenn. I was wondering why Luke Keary wasn’t listed in the credits.
Nonetheless, the boys enjoy a bit of escapism for the two hours, well all except Adam Reynolds, who trembles, screams and wets himself every time Crowe appears on screen.
9. THE NIGHT BEFORE
As is tradition before Sydney Origin matches, the team go to ANZ Stadium at kick off time the night before and just wander the field in total darkness, planning and collecting their individual thoughts.
Unfortunately things don’t go to plan, bloody Aaron Woods got lost in the darkness and it took us three hours to find him. Turns out, Woodsy decided to lie down and fell asleep at the Northern End.
In the meantime, Duges sneaks back into camp and he and Fergo, with too much time on their hands, fell into old habits in the Southern Concourse and smashed through two six packs of Bacardi Breezers.
Old man river Josh Morris is back in the team and while some value his experience it doesn’t outweigh what his head does to the team photo.
At the same time on the western side of the pitch Adam Reynolds and James Maloney, dirty about the service they’d been getting from dummy-half at training, sneak up on Robbie Farah and give him an awful hiding with half the squad cheering them on.
If that’s not bad enough, the ANZ Stadium security guard runs into David Klemmer in the tunnel and mistakes him for a skinhead and tasers him with 500 volts.
Still, better preparation than we had last year.
Go the Blues!!
Originally published as State of Origin 2016: Reg Reagan’s 9 moments that mattered in the lead up to Origin I
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