How we can finally fix Mad Monday

WITH the brouhaha over the Bulldogs’ Mad Monday still raging as the players, the media and supporters all blame each other, Mike Colman says the solution is obvious.

• A history of Mad Monday mayhem
• Buzz: ‘NRL needs to come down hard on Bulldogs’

Why all the fuss about the Bulldogs’ Mad Monday brouhaha? The solution is obvious.

The players believe they should be entitled to let their hair down after a long, hard season; media commentators believe the players should behave like grown-ups and keep their clothes on, and club supporters believe the media should respect the players’ privacy.

So how best to satisfy all parties? Simple. Just find a way for the players to carry on like demented animals in a private setting out of the range of press photographers’ long range camera lenses.

And who would possibly want to provide such a venue for 20 or 30 drunken lunatics to strip naked, grab each other on their private parts and vomit on the pavement?

Why the fans of course.

The problem with Mad Monday is that the partying is made public. Picture: Christian Gilles

Reading the comments beneath online reports of rugby league’s latest public humiliation it is apparent that there are those people who apportion no blame whatsoever to the players pictured in various states of undress and physical incapacitation.

In fact, in their opinion, the guilty parties are the journalists and photographers who spied on the private function and brought it to public attention.

It’s a fair point. After all, if not for the media’s involvement, who would have even known about what went on last Monday afternoon and evening?

Apart from anyone unlucky enough to be in the vicinity of the pub at The Rocks that the players chose to honour with their patronage — or those poor souls given the task of cleaning up after them, I mean.

So obviously, according to those people, the real issue wasn’t the players’ behaviour. It was the fact that the public was made aware of it.

Scenes like these could be kept private with the help of fan’s homes. Picture: Justin Lloyd

So here’s my suggestion. At the end of every season the registration numbers of all club members are placed in a ballot and one lucky fan wins the privilege of hosting the Mad Monday celebrations in the privacy of their own home.

Imagine the excitement of knowing that for an entire afternoon, night and no doubt well into the next morning, inebriated, naked, footballers would be dancing on your furniture, throwing up in and around your bathroom and passing out on your kitchen floor.

If you were really lucky, you could introduce them to your mother, daughters and neighbours.

No? Well maybe if no member was keen to host the annual ritual, the club chairman, CEO or coach could have it at his house.

Better still, an official from the Rugby League Players’ Association could volunteer.

It is, after all, just a bit of fun. Boys being boys and a much-deserved release of pressure after all those months of training, playing footy and signing autographs.

Or maybe that’s what it used to be back in the days before social media and citizen journalism when footballers could get away with as much as anyone else.

In fact there was a time when rather than exposing the poor behaviour of sports stars, reporters used to turn a blind eye. If it didn’t happen on the field, it didn’t make the papers.

Of course those were also the days before sponsors’ names on jerseys, million dollar contracts and massive TV deals.

Hey, there’s another idea. The players could ask the club sponsors or the network bosses to hold Mad Monday at their home. See how well that goes down.