Parramatta Eels officials refuse to be drawn on the salary cap scandal surrounding the club

SO YOU want to take the heat off your NRL salary cap scandal? Why not put your players up with a snake draped around their necks? Seriously.

Pictured is Danny Wicks with a snake at a Parramatta Eels media call in Parramatta today. Picture: Tim Hunter.

SO YOU want to take the heat off your NRL salary cap scandal? Beautiful.

Bring out a crocodile. Maybe a lizard or some dirty, great snake.

Anything but ... oh, I dunno ... a senior club official to confront the issue currently threatening destroy your season.

Indeed, in scenes lifted straight from a Fawlty Towers management guide, Parramatta players were forced to front the media and — with reptiles draped around their necks — discuss an Eels board accused of running their football club like a pyramid scheme.

And, as always, the players had a crack.

Take Eels prop Danny Wicks, who said Parramatta needed to keep racking up wins “in case they’re knocked off”. While marquee buy Kieran Foran, he praised coach Brad Arthur for keeping the saga separate from their playing group.

“I don’t know what it’s like at other clubs,” Foran started, before breaking into a laugh. “Well, I do. I was at Manly. So I know what it’s like being at a club with off-field dramas.

“And at Manly, you were exposed to it a lot more. You did hear about what was going on, it was more in your face.

“Here, though, Brad does a good job at keeping it all separate. There are no newspapers lying around the place. We hear nothing.”

Kieran Foran says the Eels do everything to keep the players away from the drama ...

Indeed, of far more importance to Foran is that, five rounds into the season, his Eels boast both the worst completion rate and highest error count of any team in the NRL.

According to Fox Sports Statistics, Parramatta are completing at just 72 per cent. Elsewhere, their 12 handling errors are almost double that of the safest side South Sydney, who also have the highest completion rate, a tick above 80 per cent.

And, sure, we could talk about that.

Or those reptiles brought out after Wednesday’s training session to promote a partnership with Northern Territory government. But all anyone really cares about is the salary cap, right?

Danny Wicks and Manu Ma'u front the media — with added reptiles.

That, plus the increasing possibility Parramatta will lose competition points.

And given no one from head office is fronting these media calls ... well, the spotlight is again on the players.

“But in all honesty, we hear nothing,’’ Foran continued. “That’s the truth.”

Which is more slippery — Snakes or Eels board members?

Wicks agreed, adding: “The best thing we can do is get points on the board early if they’re going to get knocked off.

“Doesn’t matter if they’re going to take four, eight or 20. We have to get the points first.”

And as for his thoughts on the crocodile?

“Ah,” Wicks grinned, “I’m looking forward to making a wallet.”

Originally published as Parramatta Eels officials refuse to be drawn on the salary cap scandal surrounding the club