Xavier Ellis’ devastating Joel Selwood chat after brother Adam’s death
An AFL premiership winner and close friend of the Selwood family has opened up on his heartbreaking chat with Cats champion Joel.
AFL
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Former Hawthorn and West Coast midfielder Xavier Ellis has given an insight into the devastation gripping himself and the Selwood family after Adam’s death on Saturday.
Just three months after his twin brother Troy took his own life, Adam Selwood died on Saturday at the age of 41, leading to a heartbreaking response across the footy world.
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Ellis, 37, the third pick in the 2005 AFL Draft, won a flag with the Hawks in 2008 before spending the final three seasons of his career in Perth with the Eagles.
He played 120 AFL games, including losing grand finals in 2012 and 2015, before retiring in 2016.
A regular in the Perth media scene after his playing career, Ellis grew up with the Selwood family.
Adam and Scott Selwood were the only people he knew when he joined the Eagles from Hawthorn ahead of the 2014 AFL season.
Having taken a few days off after the news of Adam’s death, Ellis returned to his role on Triple M Breakfast with Xav and Katie on Wednesday to give his thoughts on the awful situation that has again devastated the Selwood family.
Ellis has spoken to Geelong great Joel Selwood since the tragedy and caught up with Scott Selwood on Sunday.
“Waking up on Saturday to some missed calls and learning about the mental health tragedy of a friend of mine, Adam Selwood,” Ellis began.
“Over my time in the media, the Selwood boys have been in here many times.
“I’ve done this media stuff for about a decade now and I’ve made it really clear the love and admiration I have for that family.
“I idolise them and have since I was the age of 12, Joel was my first ever captain as a 14-year-old.
“He was a close friend, someone I admire so deeply. Moving to Perth, I knew no one other than Joel’s brother who was on the West Coast list, Scooter (Scott), who was living with Adam at the time.
“They really helped me when I first arrived and Scooter, having a beer with him on Sunday night and seeing him and how empty that poor man is.
“(Parents) Bryce and Maree are family friends, we went to Ireland as kids, they’re beautiful people.
“You think of those Selwood boys, when they play footy they put a cape on those boys. They’re tough, they’re brave.
“Well Bryce and Maree are that as parents every day and night. They’re just wonderful people.”
Ellis also opened up on a conversation he had with Joel Selwood, the 355-game, four-time premiership winner during his 15 years with the Cats.
Renowned as one of the toughest players in the AFL during his glittering career, Joel was understandably emotional during the chat, according to Ellis.
The radio host was also desperate to use his platform to send a message about mental health in Australia.
“Calling Joel over the weekend, just hearing his voice break. You know that ‘bulletproof’ Joel Selwood, he’s not, and mental health doesn’t discriminate,” he said.
“Targeting men and young men, it’s a time now where (mental health charity) ‘R U OK DAY’, I think it’s deeper than that.
“It’s so easy to deflect a question ‘are you OK?’ It’s time to grab a scalpel and really dissect the person you’re asking. You’d rather be a persistent pain in the arse than a shallow arse who’s just moved on and you’ve ticked the box.
“So if you have got someone you’re concerned about, you’ve got to grab that life jacket and jump in the water with them because they’re drowning inside.
“I guarantee there’s someone in your friendship group that is in a way of struggle.”
There have been a number of tributes to Adam since his death, including a minute’s silence prior to West Coast’s clash with St Kilda on Sunday.
In a heartbreaking set of circumstances, Adam planned to take part in this week’s HBF Run for a Reason — in support of the zero2hero charity — and called it one of the things that “kept him going” after his brother’s death.
The Run for a Reason half marathon will take place on Sunday, May 25, and Selwood will be in the hearts of many that run the course in Perth.
In a touching twist, more than $4000 was donated to Selwood’s zero2hero campaign on Saturday night — taking his total money raised to more than $25,000.
The latest tragedy left AFL great and Sydney Swans Hall of Famer Tadhg Kennelly fearing more incident like this are inevitable as the game battles a mental health crisis.
Kennelly said Adam Selwood’s shock passing, just months after his twin brother Troy took his own life, is “an absolute tragedy”.
“The Selwood family have been one of the cornerstones of the game of AFL and have given everything to it,” Kennelly told news.com.au.
“Joel, Scott, Adam and Troy are the embodiment of grit, humility and heart. They were raised on the values of loyalty, strength and brotherhood. It’s heartbreaking for the family, it’s heartbreaking for AFL and it’s heartbreaking for the country.”
During Wednesday morning’s show on Triple M, Ellis detailed a conversation with a listener who was dealing with mental health issues and how he was trying to help him, even giving the man his mobile phone number.
Ellis was fighting back tears as he made an impassioned plea to check on those around you.
“Take the deep dive with your friends because I just sat there yesterday and saw the Selwoods and the devastation between those brothers, who I call my closest friends, and Bryce and Maree,” he said.
“It’s just a tragic thing that no one should have to live through and I haven’t got much more to add, just try to find the mate that’s really struggling and try to help them and reassure them there are ways.
“You won’t have the answers, but you can certainly ask the right questions.”
Originally published as Xavier Ellis’ devastating Joel Selwood chat after brother Adam’s death
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