Two decades of Strauchanie: Comedian Peter Helliar reflects on the success of his Collingwood alter ego

It is 20 years since Bryan Strauchan was ‘drafted’ to Collingwood. The man behind the iconic character — comedian Peter Helliar — reflects on the enduring impact of the Magpies’ self-proclaimed legend.

Pendlebury. Swan. Buckley. Sidebottom. Strauchan.

In the past 20 years, there have been few figures as synonymous with Collingwood as the fictitious character born at a production meeting known as Bryan Strauchan.

A regular on Channel 10’s Before the Game, Strauchan took on a life of his own after he was ‘drafted’ by the Magpies in 2004.

For many casual footy fans, the self-proclaimed “legend” from Horsham played by comedian Peter Helliar became the face of the Magpies.

Fellow funnyman Paul Calleja pitched the idea of Helliar playing a Collingwood footballer based on the series Other People’s Lives which featured on popular variety show Rove Live.

Helliar, a diehard Magpies fan, didn’t need much convincing.

“He knew I kind of liked playing those big ego characters with little talent,” Helliar said.

“He kind of pitched this idea of me playing a Collingwood footballer and we loved the idea. “Not long after, a week after, we had a chat with Neil Balme and Geoff Walsh … and they were up for it.”

Strauchan became a regular at Collingwood’s Olympic Park base as his struggles to break into the club’s senior team became a feature of the Channel 10 program.

What started with a skit at the Magpies’ season launch morphed into an unstoppable force to the point where some supporters genuinely believed Strauchan was on Collingwood’s senior list.

“They certainly knew I was a passionate Collingwood supporter and I’d done a few things for the club. I think that would have helped,” Helliar said.

“It’s been a surreal kind of journey, the whole thing, to be honest.”

In comparison to the current era of tightly-controlled media access to players and officials, Helliar and his cameras were largely given free rein inside Collingwood’s inner sanctum.

There were clips featuring star players such as Scott Pendlebury and Alan Didak and a few cameos from then Magpies president Eddie McGuire.

He even filmed a tribute video ahead of Pendlebury’s 300th game, making it about himself in true Strauchanie style.

“What’s it like to play alongside Scott Pendlebury? It’s a good question. I may not be the best person to ask because I was obviously robbed of an AFL career by Malthouse and Buckley — not mentioning any names,” he said.

“What’s it like to train next to Scott Pendlebury? That’s a good question. Strauchanie’s probably not the best person to ask either because I often missed training sessions for a variety of reasons.”

Strauchanie and Rob Mills before an EJ Whitten Legends game.

Strauchan’s profile shot to new heights after his debut in the EJ Whitten Legends game in 2007 when — opposed to premiership player Martin Pike — he goaled in front of more than 12,000 fans.

“Then the joke with Strauchanie was always that the Legends Game is actually a higher level than AFL. You had WAFL, SANFL, VFL, AFL, Legends Game. That was his thing,” Helliar said.

It helped Helliar understand the cultural phenomenon which Strauchan had become.

“The guys at the (EJ Whitten) foundation were really lovely and saying, ‘you may not realise how big an impact he’s had’,” he said.

“I forget who it was, another comedian was saying to me, watching Strauchanie in the Legends Game is almost like performance art.

“He’s in this quasi real game of football but he’s kind of doing his own thing and it’s kind of a weird way of looking at it. But I could kind of see what they meant. I’m actually out there trying to get a kick and I’m actually trying to play well.”

Strauchanie’s career was almost ended at the opening bounce of the 2010 Legends Game when a heavily fake-tanned Helliar was on the receiving end of a bump from Adelaide great Mark Ricciuto.

But he recovered, kicked three goals and was eyeing a fourth when he “crunched” his ankle.

Helliar bumped into former No. 1 draftee Jack Watts in hospital who assumed Strauchan’s visit was all part of an elaborate skit.

Strauchanie outside the MCG with Jack Riewoldt last year.

“I’ve still got the spray tan on but I’m in my casual clothes. Jack Watts passes me and he says, ‘oh Straunchie. It’s all an act isn’t it?’ I said, ‘Jack mate, I’m not wearing a mullet, where do you think the cameras are? This is real’,” Helliar said.

“I did that, then I came back the next year and I think I did my knee the following year and then my wife said, ‘I think you need to not play in those games anymore’.”

The key to Strauchan’s enduring success, according to Helliar, was that most of his antics bordered on the absurd.

He was even involved with a skit featuring Sarita Holland, the wife of Magpies star Brodie, which played on the infamous toilet tryst between Wayne Carey and Kelli Stevens.

“He went to the bathroom, he couldn’t flush a nugget down and then Sarita comes in to try and help him out. Then they get busted,” Helliar said.

“That kind of caught fire a bit. Something like that, I’m not sure if we would get away with now.

“There was no blowback at all with that. I think everyone got it in the spirit it was intended and it was just so ridiculous that it (worked). I think if you play in ridiculous areas it’s hard to get offended.”

Then there was the storyline involving Strauchan’s crush on Channel 10 sports reporter Christi Malthouse, the daughter of Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse.

“Mick took a while. He’s pretty intimidating obviously,” Helliar said.

“Then when we got Christi (Malthouse) involved, and it wasn’t a strategy, we just thought because she was with Channel 10 it would be funny if Strauchanie tried to start dating the coach’s daughter to curry favour.

“Christi was really up for it, she was so much fun to work with and really generous. As soon as Christi started doing that Mick warmed to it and I think kind of got it.

“All of the players were pretty happy to get involved — Daisy (Dale Thomas) and Brodie Holland were always pretty keen. Heath Shaw was never particularly keen, he’d always just heckle from the side. Paul Licuria was always pretty keen. Bucks was keen.

“I remember shooting in the early days with Bucks.”

Strauchanie in the Magpies’ inner sanctum.

Helliar pauses when asked how viral Strauchanie could have been in the TikTok era.

“Who knows? I have been around long enough to (know) whenever you think something is going to be huge, it often never is,” he said.

“Often it’s the things you have no idea. You think ‘this might be amusing for an episode’ and then all of a sudden 20 years later you’re talking to somebody about it.”

Strauchan’s appearances have become rarer in recent years, but Helliar insists he has not retired.

Helliar said Strauchan had a “pretty good Grand Final week” last year as he soaked up the adulation of Magpie diehards.

He also made a reappearance before a pre-season game against Richmond this year at the request of assistant coach Hayden Skipworth.

“None of them knew I was coming in. I walk in and they were just so brilliant from the get go,” Helliar said.

“The Strauchanie chant started straight away and I said the Daicos boys had to leave at halftime to do a cashie. They were just all pissing themselves laughing.

“I was asking Beau McCreery about his mum.

“One, it showed me the culture at Collingwood is phenomenal at the moment.

Helliar goals as Strauchanie during an EJ Whitten Legends game.

“(They were) 45 minutes off running out to play a game and they’re pissing themselves laughing at this idiot in a wig.

“But also, just that they were genuinely excited to see him. I was getting messages from Isaac Quaynor and Mason Cox and Jeremy Howe days later.

“Hayden Skipworth said a week later they were still chatting about it. It re-energises you when that kind of stuff happens.”

Helliar said his transformation into Strauchan was “De Niro-like”, adding “as soon as I put on the wig, I feel like it’s on.”

“Mick Malthouse said to me Collingwood supporters would come up to him in the street or at training and be angry that there’s a superstar in the reserves that he’s not playing and why isn’t he playing them? Mick would have a laugh and then about 30 seconds later would realise they are being (serious),” he said.

“They believed in Strauchanie. It became this Santa Claus type thing where we just went, ‘we have got to keep this going’.”

Bryan Strauchan and Nathan Buckley sign autographs for Magpie fans.

Helliar is a regular at Collingwood home games, where he has long been a member of the ardent black and white army.

And after every loss, the message from fellow supporters is always the same.

“I’ve often said I may never do anything as funny or as beloved as Strauchanie and I have been able to do lots of different things,” he said.

“They still ask for him, where is he? If Collingwood lose it’s like, ‘Strauchanie will play next week, we needed Strauchanie out there today’.

“And if we win, ‘Strauchanie might battle to get back in the team’.

“Every week, it has not gone away and I love it.

“The fact that I, as a mad Collingwood supporter, have been able to have a very small, little imprint on that club.”

Originally published as Two decades of Strauchanie: Comedian Peter Helliar reflects on the success of his Collingwood alter ego