Titus O’Reily takes a look at how each supporter base feels about the 2020 season
A new footy season means every club starts with one key ingredient – hope! But as Titus O’Reily quickly discovers, there is certainly different levels of it out in supporter land. Check out his hilarious supporter guide.
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A new footy season means every club starts with one key ingredient — hope!
But as Titus O’Reily quickly discovers, there is certainly different levels of it out in supporter land.
***Footy20 is available from February 29 while stocks last at participating newsagents and IGA and Woolworths stores in Victoria/Riverina. Cost is $4.95 plus purchase price of that day’s Herald Sun.
FIND YOUR NEAREST PARTICIPATING RETAILER HERE
The football comedian breaks down how all 18 fan bases are feeling on the eve of the new season.
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ADELAIDE
Can it be worse than last year? It’s certainly possible. Since the Crows went on their little Gold Coast holiday, it’s been a lesson on the damage corporate offsites can do to a group of people.
Mood: At least Brett Burton and Don Pyke can’t hurt us any more.
BRISBANE LIONS
Last year was a dream come true for Brisbane fans, so much so many of them even went to games, reacquainting themselves with the Gabba for the first time since the early 2000s.
Mood: Bullish.
CARLTON
Carlton fans have been a study in group trauma over the past 20-odd years, so much so I almost felt sorry for them. Blues fans go into 2020 with a new sensation, a sense they may not be awful.
Mood: Actually happy it’s footy season.
COLLINGWOOD
Pies fans are confident they have a team that can once again make finals, and choke in them. They have the same feeling I have about life — sure it will have some nice moments but certain it will end badly.
Mood: Pessimistically optimistic.
ESSENDON
The Bombers haven’t won a final since 2004 — a great result for everyone not an Essendon fan, but a stat that leaves its fans feeling flat when footy season rolls around. It’s a bad sign when you look back at the James Hird coaching era with fondness. Essendon fans hold two conflicting views with equal passion, confident of a return to finals, while also believing this will be another wasted year.
Mood: Conflicted.
FREMANTLE
Dockers fans live in a footy version of the movie Groundhog Day, but without the humour.
Mood: Here we go again.
GEELONG
Geelong fans were already staring down a season without Tim Kelly and then the club sent them a fixture with opponents, dates, venues and starting times all misprinted. Not since the Bombers failed to get to a practice match have fans wondered if something was an omen for the season ahead.
Mood: Concerned.
GOLD COAST
If you have no hope, it can’t be crushed.
Mood: Resigned.
GWS
I’d make a joke about the Giants having no fans, but GWS fans then say I’m lazy and could come up with a better stereotype. I tell them stereotypes apply to groups, but both of them won’t get my point.
Mood: Still recovering from the Grand Final.
HAWTHORN
When will these dark times end? There are still Hawks fans coming to terms with the fact you don’t win a premiership every year.
M ood: Confused.
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MELBOURNE
If you know what it’s like to have a series of intensely painful operations coming up, then you know what it’s like to be a Melbourne supporter approaching every season.
Mood: Terrified.
NORTH MELBOURNE
Brad Scott is gone! Brad Scott is gone!
Mood: Pretty happy Brad Scott is gone.
PORT ADELAIDE
It’s hard to get excited when in recent years your club has nailed the formula for being mediocre. The only exciting thing about this season will be seeing in which new and exciting way Port can narrowly miss out on finals.
Mood: Average.
RICHMOND
Richmond fans are the new Hawthorn fans, except scary.
Mood: Ebullient (it means cheerful and full of energy, Pies fans).
ST KILDA
Saints fans are veterans, they’ve seen things. When you’ve been in hell this long it feels like home. St Kilda fans don’t get excited, they suppress feelings.
Mood: Stoic.
SYDNEY
Swans fans are still getting their heads around the fact they didn’t play in the finals last year. Surely, it was an administrative error?
Mood: Super excited about “the young kids”.
WEST COAST
You’re a great team, won a premiership in 2018 and have added Tim Kelly this off-season. Eagles fans feel like a kid whose parents bought you a pony while all the other kids got socks.
Mood: Unbearable.
WESTERN BULLDOGS
Last season was like a party you didn’t want to go to but turned out to be pretty fun, it could be fun again this year.
Mood: Trust in Bevo.
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***Footy20 is available from February 29 while stocks last at participating newsagents and IGA and Woolworths stores in Victoria/Riverina. Cost is $4.95 plus purchase price of that day’s Herald Sun.
FIND YOUR NEAREST PARTICIPATING RETAILER HERE
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