AFL captains Q&A: Skippers reveal what they’re watching, who will win the flag and the biggest issue — how many toilet rolls they’ve got on hand

It’s the issue facing every Australian … just how many toilet rolls have you stockpiled? A few AFL skippers admit they’re running low, as they open up and have some fun with some of the big questions ahead of the season opener.

What are the AFL captains doing about the toilet paper shortage?

Panic buying, social media, carb-loading and binge-watching.

As the AFL’s captains — plus a few stand-ins — came together at Marvel Stadium this week, we hit them up and it turns out they’re facing similar dilemmas to the rest of us when it comes to getting their mitts on toilet paper.

Check out what they’re watching, who they’re dobbing in as this year’s coach’s pets and who they think will take out this year’s cup.

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GWS captain Stephen Coniglio has his eye on the ultimate prize. Picture: AAP

IF YOU DON’T WIN THE FLAG, WHO WILL?

RORY SLOANE (Adel): I feel like Richmond is an obvious choice, but aside from them, I’d say the Western Bulldogs are playing some really good footy.

NAT FYFE (Frem): I think the Giants will be hard to beat. Just like their system.

SEB ROSS (StK vice-captain): Richmond.

TRENT COTCHIN (Rich): The Giants.

JOSH KENNEDY (Syd): Greater Western Sydney.

MARCUS BONTEMPELLI (WB): Richmond will be hard to beat, I reckon.

STEPHEN CONIGLIO (GWS): No one. The Giants.

NEW SEASON, NEW COACH’S PET?

RS: Rory Laird. He actually played a bit of school footy with Matty Nicks, so those two are really jelling at the moment. I’ve finally shaken the title.

NF: Luke Ryan. Problem child, but Justin (Longmuir) likes the problem children.

SR: Tim Membrey is definitely the one.

TC: I was going to say Marlion Pickett, but I reckon Dimma’s over him now. I reckon Dimma has a pretty deep crush on Tom Lynch but would never tell him.

JK: I always say Dane Rampe, but I know I’m forgetting someone.

MB: Josh Dunkley.

SC: Aiden Corr, always.

The Bont reckons Josh Dunkley is easily coach Luke Beveridge’s favourite. Picture: Getty Images

TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, SNAPCHAT OR TIKTOK?

RS: Instagram. I’ve got no idea about TikTok. I saw something the other day of someone tripping someone over, and that just looked stupid.

NF: No TikTok, I don’t do Snapchat, and my sister runs my Instagram, so really none.

SR: I’m an Instagrammer.

TC: Instagram.

JK: I’m more of an Instagram than any of the others.

MB: The ‘Gram.

YOU’RE GILL FOR A DAY. WHAT’S THE FIRST RULE OR ISSUE ON YOUR AGENDA?

RS: I’ve actually got no issue. I love the game, I love playing it. They can take care of that. It’s all about how can I play longer, really, thinking from a selfish point of view. Shorten the game length and play a lot more games is what I’d love to do.

NF: Unpack the 40-year deal to play the Grand Final at the MCG.

SR: Maybe a shorter pre-season.

TC: Coronavirus! Let the powers that be do what they’re paid to do. I’ve got enough to worry about.

JK: I’m lengthening the season and shortening pre-season.

MB: Shorten the length of the games, just a little bit.

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING AT THE MOMENT?

RS: Drive to Survive, the F1 series on Netflix.

NF: Sex Education on Netflix. It’s not bad. I went through everything else to get to it, but that’s where I’m at at the moment. It’s pretty 2020.

SR: I’m a Netflixer, and I’ve got Stan as well. My wife is back into Grey’s Anatomy. She’s up to Season 8, and there’s 23-odd episodes per season that go for 40 minutes. I still think there’s another 10 seasons or something.

TC: I don’t do a lot of it. I was Stan for Billions, and I really liked that. Shooter on Netflix was good, and Queen of the South.

JK: Just finished the Formula One series, Drive to Survive. It was great.

MB: I just finished the F1. Unreal. I’m so into it. I started Altered Carbon – not bad so far.

AFL skippers have been thoroughly enjoying the F1 documentary on Netflix. Picture: AFL Photos

FIRST THING YOU PACK IN YOUR FOOTY BAG?

RS: Mouthguard. I like my teeth.

NF: Mouthguard.

SR: Game day Speedos.

TC: My Skins, not my boots, surprisingly.

JK: Boots.

MB: Boots.

FAVOURITE MEAL WHEN THE CLUB’S DIETICIAN ISN’T LOOKING?

RS: I choose to eat pretty well. My wife is an amazing cook. She’s Italian, so she’s got a few Italian dishes that are quite special.

NF: Cereal. Like Milo or Coco Pops or something you probably shouldn’t.

SR: Japanese, maybe gyozas.

TC: Anything salty. Maybe some chips and a burger.

JK: Something Italian, pizza or lasagne.

MB: Lasagne.

Nat Fyfe thinks TP hoarders are “irrational”. Picture: AAP

A sock Rory? Really? Picture: AFL Photos

HOW MANY TOILET ROLLS HAVE YOU GOT ON HAND AT HOME? ARE YOU SAFE FROM PANIC-BUYING?

RS: I’m safe. I’m refusing to buy them. I don’t get why everyone needs them. If I get really desperate, I’ll hop in the shower, or maybe sacrifice a sock. We’ll see how we go.

NF: No, I haven’t checked. I will not yield to these people and their irrational ways!

SR: I went to the supermarket the other day. We had three left. My wife said, ‘make sure you get some more’. I was lucky that there was still some on the shelf when I got there. But I felt strange, like people were looking at me. I was like ‘I actually need this!’.

TC: (My wife) Brooke reckons I always go crook at her for having too many in the first place. So we’re OK at the moment. I was thinking about selling them for a profit.

JK: We could be running tight, I’m not too sure. I have checked the aisles, and they’re all empty.

MB: I’m all right for now. I’m fortunate, because I’ve been living on my own for the last little bit. I’m prepared and there’s no one else I have to deal with, so I’m coping all right.

SC: I’m safe. Although I haven’t been home for five days, so I’ll have to see when I get back.

Empty toilet paper aisles have even struck AFL skippers, a few of whom flatly refuse to buy into panic-buying. Picture: AFP

ARE YOU PREPARED TO PLAY IN FRONT OF NO CROWDS? 

RS: I saw Cristiano Ronaldo high-fiving the air on the way into a game, and that was kind of bizarre. 100 per cent (I would play in front of no crowd). We've still got a huge deal with TV, and to give the fans what they want, either on TV or in stadiums, hopefully it won't get to that point, but of course we’d still put on a show.

I love giving knuckles, and knuckles is probably a bit more hygienic – I’m a bit OCD. But again, I’ve got alcohol wipes in the car. I think it’s just part of your general hygiene.

SR: I would (play with no one there). I love being out there, running around. It would definitely be weird. For someone like Cotch or Pendles, who play in front of 50-60,000 each week at the 'G … it would be pretty hollow at the ’G I reckon with no crowd there, especially for those guys that are used to it. Here (at Marvel) under the roof where it echoes, it would be quite strange.

Originally published as AFL captains Q&A: Skippers reveal what they’re watching, who will win the flag and the biggest issue — how many toilet rolls they’ve got on hand