Glenn’s 10: Classic footy sledges that have had us all laughing
VERY occasionally on the footy field words can speak louder than actions. So what have been the best AFL sledges and who delivered them? Glenn McFarlane names his best 10.
AFL
Don't miss out on the headlines from AFL. Followed categories will be added to My News.
Former Port Adelaide skipper Dom Cassisi had a sledge for Bryce Gibbs even before the final siren sounded of last week’s Blues-Power game.
After Gibbs’ sling tackle on Robbie Gray, which cost him a two-game suspension, Cassisi tweeted: “It’s only taken 8 years for Gibbs to lay a tackle. Well done.”
It was a sarcastic slap on the Blues midfielder that Cassisi eventually deleted.
It made us think about some of the recent footy sledges on and off the field that have become part of folklore. Here’s a few of the ones ...
1. “My dad (expletive deleted) your mum last night”
Brisbane’s Michael Voss to St Kilda’s Brett Voss.
Normally this sort of sledge would be the right way to get your head knocked off, but when it comes from one sibling to another, it’s considered banter. The elder Voss gave it to the younger Voss, and it has been said that Joel Selwood once said the same thing to youngest brother Scott one day when he was lining up for goal.
2. “Try that again, and you won’t see the Sun go down”
St Kilda colossus Tony Lockett to Adelaide defender Nigel Smart after getting some close attention. This was almost a threat as much as a sledge. But we are pleased to report that Smart didn’t try it again, and he got to see the Sun go down that night.
3. “They both sleep with the light on and in bunk beds”
Martin Pike about the Wakelin twins, Shane and Daryl. It was a harsh assessment from Pike after the 2004 Grand Final following some public criticism that Shane had of Alastair Lynch following his wild roundhouse punches towards Daryl in the 2004 Grand Final.
4. “I accept cash or credit”
Cats star Steve Johnson to Gold Coast’s Campbell Brown during a game. Brown was perplexed and had to ask his teammate Gary Ablett if he knew what his opponent meant. Ablett laughed. It was all about Johnson saying it was a price that Brown had to pay to have front row seats to Stevie J show.
5. “Oh well mate, four brothers, one of them had to be the worst”
Then-Magpie Dale Thomas once said this to the youngest of the Selwood quartet, Scott, after kicking a goal. It didn’t go down too well with Selwood who has more than proved himself as a player.
6. “Get me a Footy Record, I want to find out who this kid is”
North Melbourne champion Wayne Carey used to say that to the trainers in front of any new players he would come up against. And there were times when he would blatantly say out aloud: “Turn it up, what have you got this no hoper playing on me for?”
7. Dane Swan classics
“Who are you?,” “Stop playing mate, you’re no good.” “What’s your name, spud?” and “What time does training finish?”
Dane Swan used these doozies on his opponents. We suggest he probably still does.
8. The great Chris Judd
Former Eagle Brett Jones had a crack at Judd’s excessive shoulder tape in the first game the champ played against his old side. Judd looked back at him, and Adam Selwood, and said with a smile: “It’s because I’ve been carrying you guys for five years.”
RELATED: Judd’s best sledge revealed
9. Justin Leppitsch
The triple-premiership Lion said to Leigh Matthews in a lift on the night that the Brisbane Lions had won its third successive premiership in 2003: “What would you be without us, Leigh?” Matthews’ response was the perfect comeback. He smiled and said: “All I’d be is the Player of the Century!”
10. Jesse Hogan
Young Melbourne gun Hogan had only played a handful of games when Bulldogs skipper Robert Murphy tried to put him off before having a shot on goal, saying the pressure was on the Demons’ “Great White Hope”. Hogan slotted the goal, and then pointed over to highly-paid Bulldog Tom Boyd, who had been subbed out, and said: “And there’s your Great White Hope”.
Originally published as Glenn’s 10: Classic footy sledges that have had us all laughing
Hall’s long-distance Gallen plan
Barry Hall has revealed how he plans to beat his shorter but more experienced opponent in their much-anticipated bout.
Hall gets kick from little masters
Andrew Moloney is the hot favourite to become Australia’s only current world boxing champion when he battles Brooklyn’s Elton Dharry on the same night that his mate Barry Hall fights Paul Gallen.