Violence is a choice. A choice we must condemn

Violence is a gendered issue based on power and control, says Rosie Batty. To do nothing when we hear inappropriate comments or excuse it as “bad-taste banter” gets us nowhere.

Anti-violence campaigner and 2015 Australian of the Year, Rosie Batty, says violence is a gendered issue based on power and control. (Pic: 'Photographer at Large')

A 17-year-old Brisbane schoolgirl stands and takes the microphone. She has a question for Rosie Batty.

It’s a bold move in a room full of hundreds of women who have listened, in silence and in awe, as the anti-violence campaigner and 2015 Australian of the Year spoke candidly about recovery from loss, newfound purpose after the horrific killing of her only child and the dangerous ignorance of men like Mark Latham and Eddie McGuire.

The Year 12 student is the youngest voice in an audience of largely high flyers. “I have a friend whose boyfriend speaks very badly to her. He shouldn’t be talking to her like that, but what do you do at 17?”

Batty’s response is gentle and measured. The woman who has endured the most unthinkable act of family violence — the clubbing to death of her 11-year-old son Luke by his father after a junior cricket match in 2014 — takes every question seriously.

“You have to call it for what it is, whether you’re 17 or 57, this is abuse — and your friend may not want to accept it at the time, because when we like someone we want things to get better, but it is not going to get better,” says Batty.

The 54-year-old, who is two years into what she calls a “lifetime sentence”, was guest speaker at Wednesday’s Business Chicks breakfast, sponsored by Bond University and Commonwealth Bank, at the Brisbane Hilton.

Batty is adamant that violence, in its many forms including emotional and physical, is a decisive act.

“Violence is a choice. Always,” she says. “It is not caused by alcohol abuse or mental health issues — these can make it worse but they are not the cause — violence is a gendered issue based on power and control.

“We have to call it out — in our schools, our workplaces, our society.”

How often do we hear inappropriate comments or witness unacceptable behaviour yet do nothing, for fear of being labelled a sticky-beak, a wowser or part of Bob Katter’s imaginary Spanish Inquisition into political correctness?

Eddie McGuire made a public apology this week after he made a “joke” about drowning a female sports reporter. (Pic: Ian Currie)

It can seem easier to excuse “bad-taste banter” — like Eddie McGuire’s quip about drowning female journalist Caroline Wilson — than condemn it.

But doing nothing gets us nowhere.

Batty is in no doubt that “collectively, we can change the world”.

“Violence used to be a subject that was never discussed,” she says. “Police came out to tell families to keep the noise down, not to help the woman.

“These days, 40 per cent of call-outs are in relation to family violence — where the cops didn’t want to know, now they admit this is the core of their business, and more often than not the person injured is the woman and sometimes the children.”

To claim, as former Labor leader Mark Latham has done, that “domestic” violence is a Trojan horse wheeled out by leftist feminists hellbent on demonising men, is ridiculous. Batty, the unfortunate target of Latham’s recent tirade, is the first to point out that men can be abused too, but the statistics don’t lie.

When two women a week in this country are killed by their current or former male partner, the big question is what are we doing to create safer homes? When one in four children is a victim of trauma, how can we halt the cycle that allows young people to see family violence as normal and potentially become perpetrators or victims themselves?

One way is to remove children from any parent with a history of violence.

On Monday, on what would have been Luke Batty’s 14th birthday, his mother released a Justice for Kids petition, signed by more than 21,000 Australians, to eliminate family court loopholes that put kids at risk.

Among the recommendations, made in conjunction with Women’s Legal Services Australia, are earlier access to hearing dates and decisions, extra screening initiatives and training of judiciary and court employees. The recommendations, given in-principle support by the Family Court of Australia, must swiftly translate into actions.

Federal Government funding is needed — in addition to the current $30 million TV campaign Respect — but individuals also have the power to effect change.

We can start by questioning the language we use and calling out the unacceptable, whether it’s from a 17-year-old boy or from older men who waste the powerful opportunity of a public voice. We can enlist new and improved resources, should we need help ourselves or wish to help others, including the site www.neveralone.com.au, hotline 1800respect and the app iMatter.

Rosie Batty says she never tires of talking about family violence. “My choice is to make the most of my life as I have it, and every day I ask myself, what more can I do?”

That’s a good question for us all.

Originally published as Violence is a choice. A choice we must condemn