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Things you should never say to a migraine sufferer

By nature, people are well meaning and kind, especially when someone is sick. But when it comes to long-term medical conditions and unsolicited advice there should be a limit to what is said, writes Katy Hall.

Is there a cure for migraines?

Alongside birthdays, marriage, tax return time and becoming parents for the first time is the joy that comes from knowing a migraine is about to set in.

That’s a joke, obviously. Migraines are the absolute worst.

Given that an estimated 4.9 million Australians suffer from migraines, and that the total economic cost per year is an astonishing $35.7 billion, you’d think we’d know a little bit more about this crippling medical condition than we currently do, but for the most part, there’s still much mystery surrounding migraines — from what causes them to occur and the most effective ways to treat them.

I’ve suffered from migraines for roughly eight years, and while there have been many theories floated between then and now, I still can’t truly explain why they came on when they did.

MORE FROM KATY HALL: The 30 things all girls and young women need to know

They’re the kind that creep up out of nowhere and leave me wiped out for two days, condemned to a blacked out room and hoping the outside world will do me a solid and remain totally silent until the searing pain eventually passes. Think the Demogorgon from Stranger Things meets The Dude from The Big Lebowski — a lot of robes and sunglasses mixed with hunching over and screaming at the first hint of sunlight.

Think the Demogorgon from <i>Stranger Things</i> meets The Dude from <i>The Big Lebowski. </i>Picture: supplied
Think the Demogorgon from Stranger Things meets The Dude from The Big Lebowski. Picture: supplied

Throughout these years, though, one constant has remained: People love to give unsolicited advice to migraine sufferers, despite often knowing little to nothing about them.

And as any migraine sufferer will tell you, yes, we’ve tried everything.

We’ve tried yoga and meditation and medication and acupuncture and Chinese herbs and elimination diets and physio and osteo and chiro and myotherapy and cupping and hypnosis and exercise and tracking apps and coffee and water and new pillows and stress management.

MORE FROM KATY HALL: What no one ever tells you about marriage

In fact, I’d argue we’re doing quite a good job of keeping the Western and Eastern medicine markets afloat.

But because somehow things aren’t clear, let me take this time to reiterate:

No, it’s not a hangover.

Yes, we’ve had our eyes tested. And our work desks evaluated.

It’s difficult to say what brings them on, as everyone’s trigger(s) is different and can take years to identify. But that cheap perfume/cologne you’re wearing certainly isn’t helping the situation.

It’s about as similar to a headache as the flu is to a cold.

No, a migraine is not the same as a headache. Picture: Renae Droop/News Corp Australia
No, a migraine is not the same as a headache. Picture: Renae Droop/News Corp Australia

No, it’s not a stress headache either. A stress headache is a stress headache, a migraine is something different, and given the world’s medical community recognises the difference in these things have faith in them, if no one else.

Given that 71 per cent of migraine sufferers are women, there’s absolutely a chance that they could be linked to a hormones. But seeing as people rarely want to discuss their period with anyone other than their gyno, these questions are best saved for Google and the privacy of your own home.

MORE FROM KATY HALL: The one certainty of tax return time? Everyone’s got a ‘guy’

What works for one person may not work for another. But one thing that is for certain is that there are a lot of different things that work for a lot of different people. Some of them are unconventional (like daith piercings) and some of them are more traditional (daily preventive medications). Ultimately, though, the choices of how to manage migraines is up to the person suffering them, and not the barista who refused to give me a triple espresso when I was trying to fend one off that one time.

Migraines aren’t cancer. Or at least, they’re highly unlikely to be, but thank you for planting that seed of doubt, it’s greatly appreciated.

And until then, if you need me, I’ll be wearing sunglasses inside and praying for silence.

Katy Hall is columnist for RendezView.com.au Katy.hall@news.com.au

Originally published as Things you should never say to a migraine sufferer

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Original URL: https://www.couriermail.com.au/rendezview/things-you-should-never-say-to-a-migraine-sufferer/news-story/3a9fed3c4b677e7fa2a9b410c2f8fa35