Teens will always be idiots. That’s why we need to monitor their online use

Many of us did foolish things in our youth, but we weren’t plagued with social media stupidity. Now with sexting and teens exposed to online porn rings, parents must step in.

If we can teach people from a young age to understand what is right or wrong, they may be better equipped to deal with confronting situations when they occur. (Pic: iStock)

Teenagers are idiots. I know. I’ve been one. However, the adolescence of my youth was not plagued by social media stupidity. We did other foolish things, like sneaking booze and cigarettes, and wrapping teachers’ cars in toilet paper on breakup day. Big whoop!

We did not send naked pictures of ourselves to our peers, and we weren’t fair game for filth bags operating online porn rings.

But we were awkward, naive and full of ourselves, all the same.

What’s changed are the consequences of teenage immaturity — these days they’re grave and longer-lasting.

The digital world doesn’t forget — once something’s posted online, it’s there for life. Even deleted material remains in the ether or “screen-shotted” on someone’s phone.

What will it take for kids — and adults charged with their care — to get the message?

Schools are fighting a losing battle. Courses on cyber safety can’t be working when we continue to read about kids getting into strife.

Last week, we learned that more than 70 Australian schools have been targeted by an adult website porn ring featuring teenagers.

This week, the scandal is at Palm Beach Currumbin State High on the Gold Coast, where 22 students in Year 9 have been suspended for sharing naked images of fellow students.

Principal Stephen Loggie told Ben Davis on Newstalk 4BC that “sexting” was out of control.

“I wouldn’t even know how to measure this problem, it’s so large — if you were to visit the Facebook page of most teenagers there would be an image that would shock you,” Mr Loggie said.

“Whether it has to do with sexualisation or violence, it is a sign of the times — students connect their self-image to those pictures. As a community we need to get our head around that and take urgent steps towards supporting young people to make better choices.”

Spot on. It’s not up to schools alone to tackle the issue because schools alone can’t fix it.

Online is forever. But the message doesn’t seem to be getting through to everyone. (Pic: iStock)

Palm Beach Currumbin State High, like most schools, runs compulsory cyber safety courses and routinely cautions students about social media misuse, including with visits from police officers who share “practical horror stories”.

“Kids do sit up and listen,” Mr Loggie says, “but for whatever reason, it remains in the young person’s psyche not to be able to effectively measure risk.”

Adults with common sense must step in.

Just as it is appropriate that teachers are not “friends” with their students on Facebook — I can hardly believe the Queensland College of Teachers had to issue an edict to this effect last month — so too, parents should not be flippant with their own social media use.

Over-sharing is foolish, and particularly when it comes to people’s kids, who are effectively denied their right to privacy.

When adults refuse to set boundaries, how can they expect children to do so?

Maggie Dent, an educator and author of nine books on parenting, says mums and dads should start having conversations with kids from the age of four about body awareness, protective behaviours and consent.

By the age of seven, they should consider using the word pornography and warn children to close their eyes if they see it.

“We need to talk about family values and expectations, especially the big three: try not to hurt yourself; try not to hurt others; and try to not damage property or the environment,” Ms Dent says.

“These clear expectations will help children understand that we can hurt others by using mean words, actions that are disrespectful like telling lies or making up untrue stories about others, and by shaming others. Holding these expectations helps children to understand what being a good friend means.”

It is imperative that parents monitor online activity, and use tools to do this remotely. Do spot checks on kids’ phones, confirm the privacy settings on their accounts, understand the apps they use.

Now that teens can so easily be exposed to online porn rings, parents must step in. (Pic: Jonathan Bentley)

I think we also need broader community involvement, including from politicians and police officers in a position to drive home the fact that posting lewd images, or merely having them on a device, is illegal.

Kids can be charged under child pornography laws. Hundreds have been in Queensland alone.

Teenagers are wired to want to belong, and peers are powerfully influential.

It has always been thus, but today, the wave of digitally manipulated images and curated celebrity snaps has led to an exaggerated concern with body image.

Add free and easily accessible online porn and you have all the ingredients for teenagers to lose all perspective.

Is it too late to turn back the tide? I’m not sure, but I’m in no doubt that we need to try harder.

Kylie Lang is an associate editor at The Courier-Mail

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Originally published as Teens will always be idiots. That’s why we need to monitor their online use