Rex Jory: Trump was right not to bow to the Queen
THE days of grovelling to the privileged are over, and there’s no one — not even the Queen of England — who should be able to demand social sycophancy and unthinking servility, writes Rex Jory.
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THE days of being obsequious and servile to people in privileged social or political positions are over.
Nobody — whether it is the Queen of England, the Pope, the Emperor of Japan or the President of North Korea — should any longer be able to demand social sycophancy.
Powerful people can no longer pretend divinity or some form of deity. They cannot demand veneration they have not earned.
US President Donald Trump deflated this international convention during his recent British visit. Presumably Mr Trump was told that he should bow when he met the Queen in Windsor and that his wife, Melania, should curtsy. They did neither. They simply shook hands.
Why should they do anything more?
He may feel that to grovel to the Queen in front of the world’s media would indicate that British royalty is more important than the US presidency. The unconventional Mr Trump is hardly likely to make that concession.
His behaviour opens the wider question of whether anyone should demand conformity to obsequious and humiliating social protocols instituted perhaps 400 years ago? These jingoistic and potentially offensive rules of social superiority are quite different from respect.
Respect can be generated by a feeling of admiration for someone because of their abilities, qualities or achievements or reflect the importance of a position in the community.
For half my life I have worked alongside kings, queens, emperors and politicians including presidents, prime ministers and premiers as well as civic, business and church leaders. In public, I invariably refer to them by title and not Christian name even if they are friends or lunch companions. That is quite different from being subservient and fawning.
I still refer to many people I meet as Mr or Mrs. These are titles almost discredited by the modern generation but they demonstrate respect. Simple good manners.
I have twice met the Queen. Before each meeting I have been told how to behave and what I should and shouldn’t say. I tried to obey the protocol but in a conversation, it’s hard not to put forward a point of view or ask a question.
Etiquette for meeting the Pope is much the same.
Dress respectfully, of course. The Pope should be addressed as Holy Father or Your Holiness and at first meeting you should genuflect — bend at the knee. If offered, you should kiss the Papal ring. The church believes the Pope has limited infallibility which is perilously close to divinity.
Is this respect or outdated, obsequious fawning? Is it designed to elicit affection or fear? Many young people would regard it as ludicrous overkill. It’s time the church considered stepping into line with modern thinking.
Sir Donald Bradman told me that he once responded to a knock on his front door to find three Indian gentlemen lying face down on the ground.
Their unusual contortions were a display of the respect in which they held the great cricketer. It had nothing to do with protocol or convention. He finally convinced them to come inside for a cup of tea.
Rank or pecking order are respected in the armed services and in occupations such as police, firefighting and the medical and legal professions. But they are for reasons of discipline or respect — not some inappropriate and unquestioned servility to a person or position.
Protocols which insist that a certain person or position are automatically superior and therefore demand humility and perhaps trepidation, create barriers to useful social interaction and decision-making.
Imagine if Donald Trump was told — as I was — that it was wrong to ask the Queen a question. It would be a conversation without purpose.
I’m an advocate of respect and good manners. They are the oil which keeps the wheels of a dignified society turning.
But when good manners morph into unthinking servility, sycophancy and subservience then modern society is losing its way. What may have been appropriate for Queen Victoria or Pope Leo XIII 120 years ago are no longer necessarily appropriate today.
Rex Jory is an Adelaide Advertiser columnist.
Originally published as Rex Jory: Trump was right not to bow to the Queen
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