Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscars speech was vegan preaching at its best

In the space of just two years the Oscars went from calling out rampant industry-wide abuse to shaming those of us who drink milk. Seriously, asks Lucy Carne, what is Hollywood doing?

Artificially. Inseminated. Cows.

Are we really that surprised that this year’s Academy Awards – Hollywood’s annual virtue signalling fest – will be remembered for bovine justice?

Ricky Gervais’ sage advice on keeping schtum on sociopolitical issues in the spotlight was clearly ignored.

Courtesy of Best Actor winner Joaquin Phoenix, we got three rambling minutes that transversed racism, queer rights, gender rights, social inequality, cancel culture and the trauma of the dairy industry.

“We feel entitled to artificially inseminate a cow, and when she gives birth, we steal her baby, even though her cries of anguish are unmistakeable,” Phoenix, a lifelong vegan, told us.

“And then we take her milk that’s intended for her calf, and we put it in our coffee and our cereal.”

Cue the standing ovation and accolades that it was the speech “that broke the internet”.

It also prompted some cheeky Aussie farmers to enrage the vegan Twitterati by filming themselves drinking glasses of milk in honour of a “pint for the pansies” and a “schooner for the snowflakes”.

Joaquin Phoenix used his Best Actor award speech to discuss female cow rights. Picture: Kevin Winter/Getty

But amid the gushing over animal rights and sneering at conservative politics, there was something missing at last week’s Oscars.

What has happened to MeToo?

Just two years ago, Hollywood’s elite glided into the Oscars dressed in black in solidarity with victims of sexual harassment and assault. There were montages of strong women, rousing speeches and activists as celebrities’ dates.

This year? Time seems to be up on the celebrity cause.

It’s surprising, given former Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein’s trial for rape and predatory sexual assault is coming to a close in Manhattan.

The 67-year-old producer faces two charges of rape and one of performing oral sex on a woman without her consent. He’s pleaded not guilty.

This was meant to be the definitive test of MeToo. Instead the focus has been on Weinstein’s Zimmer frame (he’s upgraded from tennis balls to wheels), his scrotum (he allegedly has no testes) and the claim by his defence lawyer that he’s no rapist, just a sex addict like Tiger Woods.

By brushing MeToo under the red carpet and replacing it with a newer, shinier cause, Hollywood reinforces its insincere, flimsy advocacy.

Weinstein’s days in court were supposed to be the definitive test of the MeToo movement. Picture: AP/Bebeto Matthews

But are we really that shocked by the lack of commitment to a role by the world’s best actors?

You can almost picture the brunch chat over the Chateau Marmont’s Ancient Grains Bowl (hold the egg and feta): “Human victims? Eww. It’s all about cow rape, now. #MooToo.”

I’ve been a vegetarian for a solid chunk of my life thanks to a rained out Grade 6 school camp.

With canoeing and orienteering cancelled, our desperate teachers thought it might be a good idea to educate us on where our food came from.

And that is how a group of hysterical 11-year-old inner city Brisbane kids ended up in an abattoir watching a cow bolted in the head. Letters of apology were sent home to our parents.

I once also dabbled with veganism for about six months at uni.

I want to say I gave it up for reasons of nutritional deficiency. But really it was just because of vegan guys, who, if I’m being honest, acted a bit superior and were way too skinny.

Of course, no normal person willingly wants animals to be unethically tortured for food.

And of course the meat and dairy industry can damage the environment, just like soy and almond farming does.

But there is an ugly face to this latest celebrity cause: vegangelism.

Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscars vegangelism was truly obnoxious. Picture: AP/Chris Pizzello

This purtinacial preaching by ethical and biological elitists is the main reason why vegans come second to drug addicts in public loathing.

It’s in the systemic intimidation of law abiding farms and businesses, many of whom work hard to ensure the wellbeing of their stock.

It’s the scare tactics to exploit society’s naivety in an attempt to have us somehow cede as the dominant species.

It’s the hypocrisy of celebrities like Phoenix who rail against cancel culture but shame milk drinkers to a global audience.

Yet if we’ve learnt anything from Hollywood’s ‘limousine liberals’, despite their initial enthusiasm, whatever they touch – Hillary Clinton, Joseph Kony, gender equality, MeToo – seems to suffer.

“I wonder if the pushback against ‘look at these Hollywood elites telling us what to do’ doesn’t actually have more of an effect on the conservative side of the ledger than as a motivating factor on the left,” The Federalist senior editor David Harsanyi has said.

Hang in there, milk lovers. Veganism will no doubt be dumped for yet another worthy cause by the next awards season.

And grab the popcorn, because cow rape is going to be hard to beat in the craziest cause category.

Lucy Carne is editor of RendezView.com.au