I look like a twit... but I’m sticking with the Apple AirPods

Will people who wear Apple’s new AirPods earbuds be ridiculed just like the “glassholes” who wore Google Glasses? Maybe. But you won’t be laughing long.

In the eyes of many, I look like a tosser. In my mind, however, I’m just a man before my time.

There’s nothing unusual with those two statements. What is unusual is that the reason for the current opposing views between my self-perception and the wider view is that I’ve been walking, running, and riding with two white sticks protruding from my ears — which is a sign to the world that either I’ve got my hands on an early pair of the controversial Apple AirPods or I’ve found a very unusual place to store the head of my electric toothbrush.

Fortunately for good dental hygiene, it’s the former.

These are the things that Apple unveiled in San Francisco 10 days ago, that look like a puppy has taken to your earphones and chewed up the cord. It is part of Apple’s solution to the problem they’ve caused by dumping the headphone jack from the iPhone 7.

Or maybe a rabbit chewed the cord. (Pic: AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)

The future is wireless, Apple says, and more specifically Apple is hoping the future is people with sticks coming out of their ears.

One of the biggest challenges Apple faces is that it’s easy to make fun of the AirPods. I suspect more than a few times I’ve accidentally called them AirBuds, mixing up the latest in consumer technology with a series of Disney films about Golden Retriever puppies that talk. To be clear, no matter how much you ask Siri, the AirPods won’t fetch your slippers.

They’re expensive, or will be when they’re released next month ($229). They seem easy to lose, says me who once accidentally threw out a mobile phone because it was so small it got caught up with the rubbish on my desk. And they hark back to the era of the Bluetooth earpiece that indicated you were either a stock market trader or a wanker, and probably both.

The thing about the AirPods is that they’re a slow burn. And no, that’s not a dig at the Samsung’s Note 7 and its unfortunate problem with the flammable batteries. Well, not just that.

Not only do the AirPods not have a cord, they also don’t have a button. To control them, you double tap to activate Siri and then issue voice commands. If you feel like saying the word “play” out loud when standing on the bus might make you look odd, you might think twice about getting a pair of these. And if you don’t feel odd about that, you should.

I’ve seen the future, people... and we’ve all got sticks in our ears. (Pic: AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)

But here are five things I’ve learnt to love about the AirPods in the past 10 days.

1. They charge in 15 minutes just by carrying them around in their tiny storage box in my pocket.

2. They don’t fall out of my ears even on three hour runs.

3. The voice clarity when I make calls is better than any other sports wireless headphones I’ve tried.

4. When I’m cycling, I just wear one so I can listen to traffic noise with the other ear. I reckon a lot of people will do the same driving.

5. And I don’t have to grab my phone or talk to myself because I can control pause and play from my Apple Watch. To turn the volume up or down I twist the digital crown on my Watch.

Some people love these AirPods in an extreme way. “AirPods are sex sticks that (expletive) your ears,” gadget reviewer Chris Messina wrote.

Sure, there are other great wireless headphones. Sure, there are plenty of people that will hate these and ridicule anyone who uses them as Apple sheep, or sheeple.

Innovation in wearable technology comes with risks. Will people who fork out for AirPods be ridiculed as “podsters” with the derision the world treated the “glassholes” who wore Google Glass?

Maybe. But for now I’ll be one of those who lend an ear and stick it to the critics.