Brisbane parents share their heartbreaking story, told one of their twins wouldn’t survive

A Brisbane mother has shared the moment she was told one of her twins would not survive, given the choice to terminate the brave mum carried her baby to term to save the life of the other.

Henry and Peta Stimson were 13 weeks into their pregnancy when they learned one of their babies would not survive outside the womb. Picture: Contributed.

A Brisbane mother has bravely shared her story of heartache after she was told one of her babies wouldn’t survive outside the womb.

Henry and Peta Stimson were surprised and excited to learn that they were blessed with twins.

Those feelings soon however turned to fear after the Enoggera couple were told just 13 weeks into the pregnancy one of their girls, Amy, suffered from a lower body limb complex.

The condition causes multiple, severe abnormalities in the foetus.

Mr and Mrs Stimson were then faced with a heartbreaking decision to make, with doctors giving them three options.

“We could terminate Amy, we could terminate both girls or we could go as far as possible through the pregnancy with palliative care support for Amy,” Mrs Stimson said.

“Terminating Amy would have to be done by radiofrequency ablation, but there was a risk that would affect the blood supply to Elise.

“If the procedure went wrong and there was a drop in blood pressure, it could cause a stroke in one of them.”

Henry and Peta Stimson were 13 weeks into their pregnancy when they learned one of their babies would not survive outside the womb. Picture: Contributed.

Mrs Stimson said ultimately the choice came down to Elise’s best interests, with the couple opting for the palliative approach.

She then had to carry both Amy and Elise as close to term as possible, all the while knowing that Amy would not survive after birth.

“It was surreal to feel these two babies alive and kicking inside me but to know that one of them wouldn’t be coming home with us,” she said.

The Stimsons bravely decided to share their story on International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day (October 15) which provides an opportunity to remember and recognise children like Amy and the impact they have on people’s lives.

In contrast to the birth of their other two children, Matilda and George, the couple says delivery day brought an element of trepidation and ‘doomsday’.

When they didn’t think things could get worse, Henry and Peta were advised at the 18-week scan their other daughter, Elise, had a congenital heart issue.

“That was a really low point,” Mrs Stimson said.

“To know we were losing one baby was hard enough, but to then find out the other twin had a really significant cardiac problem was just overwhelming.

“Fortunately, Elise was able to be treated after birth, but our mental health took a real battering in that time.”

Henry and Peta Stimson were 13 weeks into their pregnancy when they learned one of their babies would not survive outside the womb. Picture: Contributed.

Mr Stimson paid tribute to the Mater Mothers’ Hospital bereavement counsellor, who helped them cope with the difficult experience of losing Amy.

He said they wanted to ensure other couples going through similar experiences had the opportunity to receive the same support.

“I don’t think we would have coped without the bereavement counsellor,” Mr Stimson said.

“She just seemed to instantly know what we needed, even when we didn’t.

“She discretely took some photos for us as a family with Amy which are incredibly special.

“She made sure Amy’s dignity and our privacy was respected.”

As a show of gratitude and to help other families like theirs, the Stimsons raised funds for Mater Foundation by asking guests and family at Amy’s funeral to donate rather than send flowers or gifts.

“We donated about $2000 and we really hope it helps other families like us,” Mrs Stimson said.

Each year more than 2000 babies spend time in Mater’s Neonatal Critical Care Unit (NCCU) where specialist staff treat and care for up to 79 seriously ill and premature babies every night.

Funds raised through Mater Foundation provides NCCU with state-of the art-equipment, the ability to undertake critical medical research and support services like bereavement counselling.

The twins were born on January 29 at Mater Mothers’ Private Hospital South Brisbane. Amy weighed a healthy 1.9kg.

“Amy was born alive and we got 10 precious minutes with her before she died. It was really special.”

Elise, who was a healthy 2.1kg at birth, is now a happy six-month-old baby.

Mater Executive Director Andrew Thomas said families experienced incredible stress and anxiety when their babies were sick, premature or incompatible with life.

“Mater Foundation is committed to ensuring the families who come to us in their greatest time of need receive the best care and support possible, while also investing in medical research to continue to improve our understanding of conditions and illnesses that can affect babies,” he said.

Each year the Mater Mothers’ Hospital Bereavement Service invites families who have delivered at Mater to attend the ‘Wave of Light’ service and light a candle in honour of their loved one.

This year the service will be streamed live. To attend, please email [e-mail]