What couples need to do now to start planning for a baby

Many couples trying for a baby don’t realise how much planning and patience is needed but experts say a “readymoon” can help them prepare for the big event.

Former AFL player Reece Conca and fiancee Annabelle Grace expected to conceive naturally when they started trying for a baby three years ago.

“It was the back end of my playing career at Fremantle and we had made the decision to have kids, which was a big step,” Mr Conca, 31, said.

“It came as we were moving back to Victoria for me to take up a role at the Melbourne Football Club as Player Development Manager.

“There was a lot going on, but infertility was not even something we considered. We made the decision that we were going to try … but it didn’t pan out the way we were planning, which is the normal process, really.”

Former AFL footballer Reece Conca, 31, and partner Annabelle Grace, 29, with their dog, Albus. Picture: Brad Fleet

Mr Conca said after they had been trying to conceive for 12 months it was devastating to discover he had azoospermia, a rare condition where a male produces no sperm.

He now wants to help raise awareness around male fertility.

Mr Conca said it was important for men with fertility issues to create support networks around them and to know they were not alone through the journey.

“Emotional trauma is something that takes time to work through and to realise how much it is affecting you,” he said.

“For me it circulated around guilt, that latched on to me a lot, and also (feeling I was) being a hindrance to Annabelle, she had wanted kids for a really long time.

“There’s a lot of shame and embarrassment … so working through those emotions has been imperative for me. You don’t realise how much that affects you.”

Now living in Geelong, the couple is continuing their IVF journey.

“I would encourage couples, when they have made that decision to conceive, to be aware and be proactive with their journey.

“Be aware there are some potential issues on both sides and the earlier you know, the earlier you can put things in place which will save you a lot of time and a lot of money and trauma.”

Would-be parents are being encouraged to consider a ‘readymoon’ to prepare for having a baby. Picture: AFP

National fertility group Virtus Health is launching a fun campaign today called “Readymoon” with a serious message for would-be parents.

It wants more couples to be aware that becoming pregnant takes planning and patience, rather than leaving it to fate.

Findings from its national survey, also released today, found more than half the 1000 young Australian adults involved liked the idea of a readymoon.

IVF expert Dr Fleur Cattrall says it can be as extravagant as a romantic weekend away or simply a special night in. Key, she says, is celebrating the decision to have a baby together and making it a significant event.

The director of Melbourne IVF, Dr Cattrall says couples should enter their journey to parenthood in a conscious way.

“Key is to recognise female age is an important factor, therefore to have a baby sooner rather than later if they are in a position to do so,” she said.

Dr Cattrall says couples should also consider having testing if they have not become pregnant after about six months of trying to conceive.

Women planning pregnancy are encouraged to know about their egg reserve. Picture: iStock

Dr Cattrall, who turned to IVF to become a mother 19 years ago, said for women knowing more about their egg reserve and for men, their sperm health, were two critical factors in understanding how age and lifestyle may impact the chances of natural conception.

The survey was commissioned by Virtus Health, which has clinics across Australia including Melbourne IVF, IVFAustralia, Queensland Fertility Group and TasIVF.

It found a third of young couples said they were surprised by how long it could take to conceive with many admitting they expected becoming pregnant to be “fairly easy”.

It also found that to prepare for pregnancy around a third stopped drinking alcohol, 29 per cent started taking supplements and one in four changed to a healthier diet.

Couples reported they felt ready for a baby when they stopped being scared by the idea and also when they started making big life decisions such as moving to a larger house.

Preparing for pregnancy

• Be in the best physical, emotional and financial state to have a baby

• Remove things that would put a pregnancy at risk such as smoking and alcohol

• For women considering egg freezing, have a conversation with your doctor about your circumstances

• Men need to optimise their general health and consider semen analysis

• Consider preconception genetic testing if you are at risk of having a baby with a serious genetic condition

Originally published as What couples need to do now to start planning for a baby