Great-grandmother’s heartbroken family urges government to rethink funeral restrictions
A heartbreaking photo of great-grandmother Clare Ross’ family attending her funeral has shown the cruel reality facing countless Victorians in their darkest hour — and why they say it’s now time rules are eased.
Victoria
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The devastated family of a Ferntree Gully great-grandmother who took her own life after struggling to cope with lockdown has urged the government to reconsider harsh restrictions on funerals.
Due to social distancing rules, just 10 mourners could attend Clare Ross’s funeral, which was held at St Joseph’s Catholic Church in Boronia on Friday, meaning none of the 78-year-old’s grandchildren or great-grandchildren could say their farewells at the ceremony.
Mrs Ross’s son, Danny, recalled the heartbreaking moment he was unable to comfort his 82-year-old father, David, at the funeral due to social distancing restrictions.
“I don’t even remember the funeral because I was so angry,” Mr Ross told the Herald Sun.
“We were two metres apart, dad was crying his eyes out and none of his sons or daughters could give him a hug. I can’t wrap my head around it.
“I couldn’t even concentrate on what was being said, I was just so angry inside. I shouldn’t have been like that, I should have been focusing on what was being said but I couldn’t.”
The 54-year-old Wantirna man said the government should consider changing the limit on mourners allowed at funerals to depend on the size of the venue.
Under Victoria’s road map out of lockdown, funerals in Metropolitan Melbourne will be capped at 10 attendees until the third step comes into effect on October 26, which is dependent on recording a 14 day average of less than five cases statewide.
“If it’s a small chapel, I understand that, but when you’re in a big 1000 sqm church, surely it should be no different to the social distancing that’s put in place for people working in a warehouse,” Mr Ross said.
“Go to Prahran Market and all you see is people upon people. As one woman said to me, we should have had the funeral in a supermarket because we would have been allowed 100 people there.
“I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just looking for change so other people in the future don’t have to go through what we’ve had to go through.”
Mrs Ross’s body was found on Aug 31, a day after she was reported missing to police by her family.
Her son told of how his beloved mum, who was a “social butterfly”, was struggling to come to terms with lockdown.
“My mum always said ‘don’t take your own life, don’t leave behind the devastation’ and yet she went and did it herself, with a history of no mental illness,” he said.
“She was struggling in lockdown. She went and got tested four times for COVID, each time it came back negative. She was paranoid that she had it.
“From the person she was six months ago to how she was three weeks ago [before she died], the difference was huge.”
Mr Ross appealed to the government to “show some compassion” to bereaved families by rethinking the current restrictions.
“Just have some common sense. Get it changed and show some compassion,” he said.
“It’s taken me having to go to my own mother’s funeral to wake up and realise that this isn’t right.”
If you or someone you know is in need help, call Lifeline on 131 114, visit www.lifeline.org.au/gethelp, or call beyondblue on 1300 224 636
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Originally published as Great-grandmother’s heartbroken family urges government to rethink funeral restrictions