Toowoomba mum speaks up, encourages with child abuse survivors to report their assaults

For three decades a mum was silent about the sexual abuse she suffered as a child until she shed the emotional baggage that came with keeping it secret. Watching her attacker jailed this week inspired her to speak out in the hope that others come forward.

Ash* never let her daughter go to a sleepover.

It was a hard and fast rule in their Toowoomba home but despite the tantrums and conflict that it sparked, Ash waited until her daughter was well into her 20s before she explained her reason.

As a 13-year-old she stayed with her step-nephew while her mother and stepfather enjoyed their honeymoon in 1985.

During her stay, the step-nephew, aged 30 at the time made repeated sexual advances, leading to two assaults.

They were acts that shocked Ash and she kept them secret until July 2021 when she walked to the Toowoomba Police Station and told her story to a detective.

“I carried baggage for 38 years and it was time to put it to rest,” Ash said.

“I had made up my mind that I was going to go to the police.

“I made a statement, I did some drawings of things I remembered and from that the detectives did an investigation.”

It took two years, but earlier this week the matter was put before a Toowoomba District Court jury and it found Ash’s abuser guilty on two of the charges police laid.

The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was found guilty on two charges of indecent treatment of a child under 16.

Queensland law requires the penalty for people charged with historic offences must be sentenced according to the community and legal expectation of the day.

In 1985 the maximum sentence for indecent treatment of a child was five years in jail.

As a result the man received just 12 months, suspended after two months.

Despite the abuser’s light sentence in court, Ash was grateful to the court and the police and lawyers who shepherded her case through the justice system.

“I didn’t find it a hard process, it was just an emotionally draining process to give evidence in court and relive those memories,” she said.

“They are intimate details that you don’t really want to relive.

“I think the judge was fair and I think that 12 months is a good sentence, at least he is serving some time.

“It is definitely better than no time

“We do have to have faith in the justice system and they have rules and regulations that they follow to sentence people.

“I was happy that I got to tell my story and I am grateful that 12 jurors agreed that he was guilty.

“I would really like to thank the justice system for doing all the hard work in finding supporting evidence, there are a lot of people in the background that don’t get any recognition.”

An extra positive effect is that preparing for the trial helped Ash to share her story with her daughter.

“My daughter was absolutely dumbfounded that nobody knew until I wanted to tell my story,” she said.

They have always had a close relationship but the disclosure provided the context to understand why Ash took a hard line on sleepovers.

“She understands now that I was keeping her safe, that I did it out of pure love,” Ash said.

As her abuser is getting to know the inside of his jail cell, Ash is already moving on with her life and encouraged other victims of sexual abuse to speak up.

“No matter how old you are, no matter how long ago it happened, come forward, report it so you don’t have to suffer alone and so you can get their closure.

“I hope they find some inspiration in my story.

“Do it for closure.”

*Name changed to protect the victim’s privacy.

Originally published as Toowoomba mum speaks up, encourages with child abuse survivors to report their assaults