‘Your loss’: Deaf TikToker talks dating with a disability
Laura Cummings was afraid people wouldn’t like her because she was different. Now she unapologetically posts her life online – but says it can result in some wild dating mishaps.
SA News
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For 22-year-old Laura Cummings being deaf on the dating scene can be brutal.
She often finds herself unintentionally sending mixed signals where a date believes she wants to kiss them – when she’s really just lip reading.
But at the same time Laura also has been caught in the middle of many dating horror stories.
“I deal with rejection because people don’t like the idea of someone who’s not perfect,” she said.
The inspiring young woman has detailed her experiences living with genetic disorder Pendred syndrome on TikTok to her over 17,600 followers.
But her experiences don’t start or end at dating.
“I am learning not to take the rejection personally,” she said.
“If someone doesn’t want to interact with me because of my hearing, I think ‘well that’s okay that’s your loss’.”
Diagnosed with the progressive condition when she was two years old, Laura became “profoundly deaf” by the time she was 11.
She received her first cochlear implant at four and said because of it she’s been able to hear and speak.
“I am hearing by day and deaf by night,” Laura, who lives in Mount Barker, said.
“The cochlear implants … you take them off at night … (and) when you go in the water … that’s when I notice I’m different.”
Laura, who recently graduated with a bachelor of psychology, said at first she thought people wouldn’t like her because she was “different” but now realises it was all in her head.
“I would overthink my interactions with others, I would get annoyed at myself,” she said.
She recalls a time getting embarrassed changing the batteries of her cochlear implant or needing to ask a teacher at camp to warn her about the fire alarms she wouldn’t hear at night.
“I was extremely hard on myself … I saw asking for help as a sign of weakness,” she said.
It was November 2022 when Laura was watching old Love Island UK clips and saw Tasha Ghouri, the first deaf contestant on the reality show.
“I remember being in awe … staring at her, I was on the verge of tears,” Laura said.
“I was thinking to myself, wow she’s so confident, so proud of who is and she has a cochlear implant.
“She says pardon when she can’t hear someone and she’s just putting herself out there, I really admired that … that was the turning point for me.
“If this woman can’t be 100 per cent independent but she sees beauty in that, I can do that too.”
Seeing Ghouri inspired Laura to begin posting her life on TikTok inspiring confidence in others with similar experiences.
The reaction on TikTok has been “incredible” according to Laura who said people email her thanking her.
Each day Laura continues to break down barriers between the hearing and deaf community.
She said the biggest misconception she faces is people assuming she knows sign language — which she doesn’t, or because “she can talk really well, she’s not deaf”.
“My TikTok really educates other people on the vast spectrum of deafness,” she said.
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Originally published as ‘Your loss’: Deaf TikToker talks dating with a disability
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