Why renovating together might be the secret to a stronger marriage
Australians are gearing up for the great summer reno rush — and while half of us expect arguments over paint and budgets, new research suggests the chaos might be good for your love life.
Forget candlelit dinners, couples’ massages and long walks on the beach — the real secret to a happier relationship might be hiding in the middle of a Bunnings paint aisle.
A national survey of more than 1000 Australians found that 40 per cent of couples argue during a reno, usually sparked by stress, fatigue or the classic “your blue isn’t my blue” design dispute.
Yet 60 per cent say the experience ultimately brings them closer.
Australian relationship expert Samantha Jayne said the pattern is surprisingly predictable.
“Couples start out excited, then the overthinking creeps in — ‘are we going to agree?’ ‘Are we too tired for this?’” she said.
“But when you communicate, validate each other, and remind yourselves you’re a team, the process becomes bonding instead of stressful.”
And bonding they are.
New research released to celebrate Taubmans’ 2026 Colour of the Year, Team Spirit, suggests that while DIY can turn perfectly sensible couples into emotional pressure cookers, most pairs come out the other side feeling more connected than ever — paint splatters, budget blowouts and all.
A third of Australians said DIY creates “temporary tension but brings us closer”, while more than a quarter say they end renos feeling like a stronger team.
Only 11 per cent report frequent arguments — meaning the chaos might just be worth it.
Samantha’s advice? Lean into the teamwork.
“Take baby steps. Follow each other’s strengths — if one of you rolls, the other cuts in. Celebrate the wins, take photos, have a cuddle, open some wine,” she said.
And when the colour debate turns into a cold war: “Outsource. A neutral Taubmans colour expert can save your sanity — and your Saturday.”
For Adelaide couple Dorota and Brad McIlvar, renovating hasn’t just strengthened their marriage — it’s shaped their entire lives.
The pair, both 35, spent nearly five years transforming a five-bedroom fixer-upper in Melrose Park after buying the home in 2020.
Every wall was covered in wallpaper, every weekend swallowed by demolition, sanding, painting, or hunting down tradies.
“We sacrificed so much — holidays, downtime, everything — because every spare moment went into the house,” Ms McIlvar said.
“At one point, the bathroom came out with a jackhammer. I’d be sanding walls while Brad was doing demolition work to save money. Some tradies were great, others … we wouldn’t use again.”
But through the dust and the disagreements, the pair found their rhythm.
“We always celebrated the wins,” Ms McIlvar said. “Looking back at old photos and seeing how far we’d come — that was a huge boost. Brad would cook a big feast and we’d have family over to show the progress.”
They didn’t always see eye-to-eye, especially with three young kids in the mix, but communication kept them going.
“We’d get stressed, sure. But we reminded ourselves we were working toward the same goal,” she said.
In the end, the project brought them closer — and even inspired Dorota to launch her own home-staging business, Sage and Stone Interiors.
Samantha says this is exactly what the research shows: renos might be messy, but the emotional pay-off is real.
“There’s a sense of achievement, of creating something together. That deepens connection,” she said.
So before you book that romantic getaway, consider grabbing a roller and a drop sheet instead.
Your dream home might be waiting — and so, apparently, is a stronger relationship.
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Originally published as Why renovating together might be the secret to a stronger marriage
